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Science Determines the 10 Catchiest Songs of All Time. Also, Science is Sexist

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (26)

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Musicologist Dr. Alison Pawley and psychologist Dr. Daniel Mullensiefen out at the University of London, decided occupy their free time by using science to determine what the 10 catchiest songs of all time were. What they concluded was that there are four traits that make a song catchy: 1) Long and detailed musical phrases; 2) a number of pitches in the hook; 3) and male voices that are 4) high pitched.

So, why isn’t “New Kids on the Block” the catchiest band of all time? Who knows? What we do know is that women can’t sing a catchy tune but men who sound like women can.

That makes no sense.

I don’t really understand the logic behind it, but in measuring these four traits and monitoring the behavior of thousands of subjects as they sang along to a thousand songs, the scientist determined that these are the 10 Catchiest Songs of All Time. That is to say: They are perfect Karaoke choices because no one will notice how bad a singer you are because everyone else will be singing along (also knows the the “Sweet Caroline” effect).

1. “We Are the Champions,” by Queen

2. “Y.M.C.A.,” by The Village People

3. “Fat Lip,” by Sum 41

4. “The Final Countdown,” by Europe

5. “Monster,” by The Automatic

6. “Ruby,” by The Kaiser Chiefs

7. “I’m Always Here,” by Jimi Jamison

8. “Brown Eyed Girl,” by Van Morrison

9. “Teenage Dirtbag,” by Wheatus

10. “Livin’ on a Prayer,” by Bon Jovi

It’s good to see that, at number nine, the “Dawson’s Creek” soundtrack has made a long-lasting contribution to science and society. I also had to look up “I’m Always Here.” Apparently, that was the “Baywatch” theme.

Indeed, now that science has determined exactly what makes a song catchy, we don’t even need musicians anymore. Just computer programs that know how to execute sophisticated music programs. Someday soon, all music will sound like the “Baywatch” theme.

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Comments

I will say though... there is most definitely a difference between "catchy" and something people actually want to listen too.

Don't you ever find yourself singing along to a song you hate, simply because it floats around out there and gets stuck in your head?

Posted by: shelhill at October 3, 2011 3:39 PM

Interesting study. I'm more concerned with how they came about those variables. For example, the pop idiom of the last 60 years states that a song needs to be repetitive to be catchy. This also extends to making it easier to sing along with. Having many notes and long musical phrases would run counter to that logic. It's almost as if they decided that they wanted their top ten to be anthemic songs rather than catchy songs. The difference is slight but noticeable.

Posted by: Robert at October 3, 2011 3:41 PM

I still have Fat Lip stuck in my head more than a decade later and you know what, I don't terribly mind.

People enjoying high pitched male voices is nothing new. That's why we have the Three Tenors and not the Three Bases or Altos. Sorry if it's sexist for me to say it, but nothing quite beats men's voices for music. It must be all lumberjackin' and bread winnin' we're doing.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at October 3, 2011 3:51 PM

I must be immune to music then because I dont recognize half of them.

Posted by: logan at October 3, 2011 4:07 PM

I love Teenage Dirtbag, and while I don't recognize some of them I am guessing if I listened to them I would.

Posted by: Morosey at October 3, 2011 4:29 PM

I'm surprised Chelsea Dagger isn't on here being this list is pretty much UK-fide.

5. “Monster,” by The Automatic
6. “Ruby,” by The Kaiser Chiefs
9. “Teenage Dirtbag,” by Wheatus

Since “Sweet Caroline” isn't on the list and we all know what happened when it comes on in a bar/theater/iPod...there critera clearly had issues.

Though props for Wheatus love

Posted by: Luke at October 3, 2011 4:51 PM

I'm surprised that What I Got, Rolling In The Deep, Ignition, Sweet Caroline, Wanted Dead Or Alive, Carry on My Wayward Son, Wonderwall, Sex On Fire, Satisfaction & Don't Stop Believing are not on the list.

Posted by: Ja Ja Ja at October 3, 2011 5:00 PM

This list has Livin' on a Prayer.

All other entries are invalid.

Posted by: zeke the pig at October 3, 2011 5:07 PM

Too drunk for this to make sense. DON'T! STOP! BELIEVIN'!

Posted by: littlelion at October 3, 2011 5:36 PM

I've never heard of half the songs on this list.

My list of most catchy songs would include:

Classical Gas
Original Hawaii 5-0 theme
Rockford Files
Walk, Don't Run
Moonriver
You Light Up My Life (Shut up, I hate it, but it's durn catchy)
Rock Around the Clock
The Stripper
Midnight in Moscow (Google it. You won't be disappointed)

OK, so half of these don't have words, and one I really, really hate, but you can't ignor the catchiness.

Posted by: BWeaves at October 3, 2011 5:47 PM

Some people stand in the darkness. Afraid to step into the light...

Posted by: superasente at October 3, 2011 5:59 PM

I sang Teenage Dirtbag at a Karaoke contest once on a dare. I won ALL THE PRIZES.

I don't know some of these other songs on the list but for instrumentals the Game of Thrones theme gets stuck in my head on a near daily basis. As does the Raiders March. And 007 theme.

Posted by: TylerDFC at October 3, 2011 6:29 PM

I will never forgive Stan from Mad Men for saying 'it was the heat of the moment' which lodged the song firmly in my head for a week.

Posted by: Will at October 3, 2011 6:33 PM

Maybe it’s me but I’m just not feeling today’s edition of pajiba. Its been depressing and bleak, all of the columns were very uninspiring, but then maybe it’s the Monday blues. I’m broke and I’ve got to wait until Friday just to get some money, and I’m out of cigarettes. I need a fucking drink, I should call in sick tomorrow even though I don’t have any sick days left. This is going to be a long fucking week.

Why don’t you add “Bad Luck” by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes to your shitty list.


Mother fuck Amanda Knox, the Dallas Cowboys, N****rhead, and the old lady that lives down the street that’s telling everyone in the neighborhood that I owe her some money even though I told her I’m going through a rough patch.

Posted by: Pookie at October 3, 2011 8:43 PM

The actual answer is Cannonball by The Breeders. A song composed entirely of hooks.

Posted by: sansho1 at October 3, 2011 9:09 PM

I would also like to submit Get Off by The Dandy Warhols, another song composed entirely of hooks.

Posted by: Arran at October 3, 2011 9:22 PM

going by the country fair i worked at this weekend, the catchiest songs ever are summer of '69, Fishing in the dark, copperhead road, thank god i'm a country boy and save a horse ride a cowboy

Posted by: idleprimate at October 3, 2011 9:53 PM

Ever get a totally fuckin annoying song stuck in your head?? I mean, like it is in there with concrete or something?? I refer to that as an "aneurhythm".

Just passin' it along ..... cuz I'm walkin on sunshine .....

Posted by: handy_man at October 3, 2011 10:17 PM

Have you ever noticed that if California Dreamin' or Monday, Monday come on in a crowd, the guys sing the male lead and all the ladies immediately harmonize with Michelle and Mama Cass?

Posted by: funtime42 at October 3, 2011 10:20 PM

Mother fuck ... the old lady that lives down the street that’s telling everyone in the neighborhood that I owe her some money even though I told her I’m going through a rough patch.

Posted by: Pookie at October 3, 2011 8:43 PM

Pook, it sounds like you actually need to listen to "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" by George Thorogood. Just perfect for those times.

Posted by: Uriah Creep at October 3, 2011 10:23 PM

I can't stand today's pop but nothing is more catchy than Britney, Ke$ha or Katy Perry. They make songs so irresistible, you hate yourself for loving them and you bury them on your iPod so no one finds out.

Posted by: Derreck at October 3, 2011 11:07 PM

Why fight it, Derreck? Embrace it.

Posted by: Ari at October 4, 2011 5:37 AM

No song has ever stuck in my head like Lady GaGa's "Bad Romance." Even typing that sentence just made my brain start up with, "RA RA AH AH AH..."

GODDAMMIT.

Posted by: Craig at October 4, 2011 12:45 PM

...goes to fire up Monster on his iPod.

Posted by: lubeg at October 4, 2011 1:03 PM

That is, without a doubt, the weakest, shallowest list I've ever seen.

Posted by: Protoguy at October 5, 2011 4:39 AM

I noticed just the thing I found myself wanted, therefore seemed to be fun!

Posted by: Christen Frohlich at December 2, 2011 8:59 AM