Sadly, The 10 Most Titillatingly Suggestive School Boy Uniform Images I Could Find

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (55)

This morning, we presented to you images from the GQ photo-spread of Lea Michelle and Dianna Agron, which involved the very dated and trite school-girl uniform cliché, even though they don’t wear school uniforms on “Glee” (talk about misrepresentation!).

The recurring complaints about those images were 1) that Lea Michelle is trying too hard; 2) that the photographer, Terry Richardson, has a pedophilia obsession; 3) the sexy school girl thing is done; and 4) why isn’t Cory Montieth dressed suggestively? You know, for the ladies to pant over, and the men to complain about?

I wanted to do you all a solid, and turn the cliché around by featuring the most suggestive school boy uniform images I could find from popular culture. Unfortunately, the school boy uniform doesn’t really lend itself to suggestiveness. Boys in uniforms in the spread eagle pose just doesn’t have the same Joie de vivre. In this respect, women got fucked on the turnabout.

This is the best I could do. I apologize in advance.

The History Boys

Dead Poets Society

Rushmore

Gossip Girl

The Emperor’s Club

Angus Young, AC/DC

Harry Potter

Scent of a Woman

The In-Betweeners

School Ties

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Comments

God help me but I think Angus Young wins that competition.

Posted by: JenVegas at October 20, 2010 3:19 PM

1. I'm not surprised.
2. As a result of #1, I am not disappointed.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 20, 2010 3:20 PM

Jeeeeeesus Christ, Rowles.

*shakes head*

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at October 20, 2010 3:21 PM

I still hold that the schoolboy lover of Cate Blanchett, while modeling the Wizard's cap and naked from the waist-up, is one of the strangest 'sexual/innocent depending on the angle' image in modern cinema...takes the 'young hotness (tm) of Harry Potter and makes one feel honestly creepy.

Posted by: anitra at October 20, 2010 3:22 PM

Um.

Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at October 20, 2010 3:24 PM

Yay School Ties! *I've always had a slight crush on Randall Batinkoff.

*First person who ever said that

Posted by: Julie at October 20, 2010 3:26 PM

SCHOOL TIES, YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT! EVER !

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 20, 2010 3:26 PM

Also, is it just me, or is PSH looking distinctly Ron Weasley-esque up there?

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 20, 2010 3:28 PM

All of those boys in the above pictures (minus those taken within the past 5 years - not enough time has passed) are much better looking as the men they now are.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at October 20, 2010 3:30 PM

P.S. I'm submitting this: http://www.friendsoffirth.com/another_country/ac03.jpg

Look, Colin Firth ain't puffy and Rupert Everett had a normal face!

http://www.cinemademerde.com/anothcount-elwes.gif

Also, remember when HE was the swooniest thing ever?

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 20, 2010 3:33 PM

Dead Poets Society FTW!

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at October 20, 2010 3:35 PM

Christ! School Ties is the only one with remotely good-looking men involved. Did you go out of your way to find the least attractive guys in the movie business? I have to agree with JenVegas. Angus Young wins.

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 20, 2010 3:36 PM

@coverdinbees -

I dragged my poor, long-suffering best friend to see Another Country. I thought Rupert Everett was just about the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 20, 2010 3:37 PM

I appreciate your efforts. Thanks Dustin!

Posted by: tamatha at October 20, 2010 3:41 PM

Those "in betweeners" guys look rough.

rouuuuuuugghhhhh

Posted by: Ian at October 20, 2010 3:41 PM

I think the equivalent of the schoolgirl thing (for me at least) would have to be boys in tuxes. Can that be the next SRL?

Posted by: badkittyuno at October 20, 2010 3:41 PM

I loooooooove Andrew whasshisname from the The History Boys. When they show him with his red shoes at the posh university? Class-y.

Yummm.

Posted by: grace b at October 20, 2010 3:41 PM

Nothing from "Total Eclipse of the Heart"? And you used a still from "Dead Poets Society" without Ethan Hawke or Robert Sean Leonard?

But props for School Ties. That's bordering on Top Gun levels of homoeroticism.

Posted by: Maureen at October 20, 2010 3:45 PM

Damn it! Before this I was actually able to say I'd never seen so much as an image from Gossip Girl. All I knew was that it existed sometime and somewhere. Now I have to say that I've seen a picture of it. Wait. No I don't. I was never here.

I WAS NEVER HERE!

Posted by: Paultera at October 20, 2010 3:52 PM

Mrs. Julien, my uber conservative and possibly homophobic father showed that movie to me when I was younger. i think he thought it was going to be more political and less or THE GAY.

Posted by: coveredinbees at October 20, 2010 4:06 PM

Matt Damon is having quite a bit of fun in that photo. Oh yeah. Acting

Posted by: dagnabbit at October 20, 2010 4:11 PM

Why can the girl version of the uniform be altered to be skanky, but the boy version never is?

I mean, real school uniform skirts brush the kneecaps and meet the shirt at the top. Put a cute buy in an unbuttoned dress shirt with a blazer and skin-tight pants and it could be totally sexy. But that never happens.

Girls just don't get the same creativity in soft-porn as the lads. Sigh.

Posted by: Abby-Wan Kenobi at October 20, 2010 4:12 PM

Apology NOT accepted, Dustin. If I'm going to click open a page like this at work, at least make it worth my while. Now the IT watchdogs will think I'm homosexual for no good reason.

Posted by: logar at October 20, 2010 4:18 PM

Surely you're not leaving out Marco Hofschneider in his various incarnations in Europa, Europa.

Posted by: samantha t at October 20, 2010 4:20 PM

As long as the dude in the uniform-type clothing is attractive, it's all good. Most of the pics are OK for me, except the Harry Potter one, the AC/DC one and the In-Betweeners.

Quick question: WTF is The In-Betweeners?

Posted by: Slash at October 20, 2010 4:21 PM

Or Andrew McCarthy in "Heaven Help Us". Dustin, for the love of God!

Posted by: samantha t at October 20, 2010 4:22 PM

The two guys in the middle of the Gossip Girl pic are pretty hot, but the creeper on the right is giving me the heebie-jeebies.

And RPatz, I don't care if your acting is so wooden that I'm embarrassed for you, me, and anyone else in the room for watching it. You're so dreamy. ***swoon***

I need help.

Posted by: Alice at October 20, 2010 4:25 PM

The Inbetweeners is an excellent British show about those four blokes and their adventures in high school. It airs over in the US on BBC America.

The bastards at MTV are remaking it.

Posted by: calliope1975 at October 20, 2010 4:25 PM

And of course I have to open this page again. I just went to the Lea Michelle page, and I really didn't see too much in the way of "school-girl," other than the fact that it's set in a school. In one picture, she's clearly a teacher. In most of the others, she's a jock (she's wearing athletic socks, a lacy blue and white sports bra, and a jersey-like shirt.)

Posted by: logar at October 20, 2010 4:26 PM

Knox Overstreet, SWOON.

Posted by: captainfireypants at October 20, 2010 4:34 PM

Where is Ron Weasley?! Shaggy haired, adorable Ron Weasley?

Posted by: rezcat at October 20, 2010 4:53 PM

RE calliope: "The Inbetweeners is an excellent British show about those four blokes and their adventures in high school. It airs over in the US on BBC America. The bastards at MTV are remaking it."

Thanks. I'm sure MTV will ruin it. MTV is the destroyer of dreams.

Posted by: Slash at October 20, 2010 5:08 PM

Maybe it's just me, but the equivalent of a Schoolgirl Uniform, for me? The man in the suit, or tux. The rumpled suit. Undone tie, unbuttoned shirt. Unbelievably sexy.

But then I like MEN, not boys.

Posted by: figgy at October 20, 2010 5:43 PM

And I second the suggestion for a Men-in-Tuxes SRL to make up for this disappointment. *sigh*

Posted by: figgy at October 20, 2010 5:53 PM

My vote goes to Tom Riddle (Christian Coulson) from Harry Potter. Proto-Lord Voldemort was hot.

http://www.hallowsofdeath.net/two/tomnewpose.jpg

Posted by: kelsy at October 20, 2010 5:54 PM

Looking at that old shot from Rushmore . . . someone's had some work done.

Posted by: Lauren at October 20, 2010 6:02 PM

Thanks for "The History Boys." No one I know has ever even seen it, but I hold it in high regard as a masterpiece of "I want to do VERY bad things to intelligent, mischievous, adult-adjacent, vaguely handsome and possibly homosexual British schoolboys" cinema.

Yeah, it's a pretty specific niche.

Posted by: Heather Mooney at October 20, 2010 6:24 PM

Hey, Heather, not only have I seen it, I played Irwin in the stage version in 2008. Excellent writing.

Posted by: Ian at October 20, 2010 6:31 PM

Is it weird that I always imagine Dead Poets Society as Dan Rydell's backstory? You know, boy goes to boarding school, falls in love with public school girl, recites some poetry, changes his name to something less douchey than "Knox Overstreet," becomes a star sportscaster alongside Casey McCall. It makes a lot of sense! Maybe he got sent to boarding school after his little brother Sam died. Maybe his upper-crust youth is what gave him his love of sailing. And maybe somewhere in that saga he met a nice young public school girl named Esme and married her. That's plausible, right?

Posted by: esme at October 20, 2010 6:45 PM

Whoa whoa Hold the boat!

Jesse Eisenberg was in the Emperor's Club?

I learned something today

Posted by: Doric at October 20, 2010 7:17 PM

Well, I for one appreciate the effort, Rowles.

And agree that we should have a men-in-tuxes compilation next time you feel the need to balance the photo posts.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 20, 2010 7:55 PM

Fourthing (or just agreeing on) the tuxes.

Or -- you know -- you could just show us the goods. That'd work too.

Posted by: shanmarie at October 20, 2010 8:31 PM

Yeah, it's a pretty specific niche.
Posted by: Heather Mooney at October 20, 2010 6:24 PM

You know, Heather, I have not seen that movie BUT based on that photo and the fact that I belong to this pretty specific niche of which you speak...

BOOM. NETFLIXED.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at October 20, 2010 9:30 PM

@Doric - I literally thought the same thing.

The second part of that thought was "I need to Netflix that. Now." The third part of the that was that my pseudo-crush on Jesse Eisenberg is getting a little out of hand.

Posted by: nosio at October 20, 2010 10:09 PM

esme, that's genius. Except I think the public school girl's name was badkittyuno

Posted by: badkittyuno at October 20, 2010 10:21 PM

Step aside Dustin, I've got this one. Here you go ladies: Patrick Fugit in "Saved!". Boom.

http://29.media.tumblr.com/0AVIyKXrtnpp09lgVBOcRmPyo1_400.jpg

Posted by: Laurie at October 20, 2010 10:31 PM

I'm partial to the boys in the 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=840B27zYfOk

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at October 20, 2010 10:38 PM

Ah, Maureen beat me to it. But really, I also vote for the men in tuxes with the ties undone...swoon!

Posted by: Alarmjaguar at October 20, 2010 10:41 PM

Max Fischer totally wins!

Posted by: Talia at October 20, 2010 10:44 PM

Now I want to dress up as a sexy Catholic schoolboy for Halloween.

Posted by: j. at October 21, 2010 8:15 AM

Yep- 20 years on and the boys in Dead Poets still do it for me.

I'll take a Charlie and Knox sandwich, hold the mayo.

Posted by: Amandahugandkiss at October 21, 2010 11:52 AM

School Ties wins. Hands down. But, as much as it pains me to say it, I'm going to have to give second place to Gossip Girl.

I feel dirty.

Posted by: GwenBear at October 21, 2010 1:58 PM

See, I would've thought there'd be a language barrier issue with The Inbetweeners ...

Posted by: lingli at October 21, 2010 5:24 PM

Bag on Gossip Girl if you must, but I would do dirty, dirty things to that Chuck Bass character.

Posted by: Lulu at October 22, 2010 6:29 PM

Oh, Max Fischer.
I'd let him dive for my sunken treasure any day.

Posted by: mouthwords at October 22, 2010 7:31 PM

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Sadly, The 10 Most Titillatingly Suggestive School Boy Uniform Images I Could Find

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