By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (67)
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
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Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at January 11, 2011 9:35 AM
Wow you're right! Now instead of wanting to lick the grime off of all those toes, I just want to have sex with all those people. I mean the feet people. What was with those weird pictures of people's faces though?
Posted by: L4NkYb at January 11, 2011 9:37 AM
This was oddly... disturbing.
Posted by: cinekat at January 11, 2011 9:37 AM
There's evil afoot.
Posted by: , at January 11, 2011 9:41 AM
You're not even snowbound and stir crazy yet. What's the matter with you?
Posted by: Jay at January 11, 2011 9:43 AM
I'm not sure what just happened. My woman parts feel so confused. They got all worked up to get all grossed out to get all worked up to get all grossed out. WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME!? WHY????
Posted by: Sarah at January 11, 2011 9:44 AM
My name's Rex Ryan, and I approve of this post.
Now let's go get a goddamn snack.
Posted by: Rex Ryan at January 11, 2011 9:46 AM
Is Rex Ryan writing for Pajiba now?
Posted by: Fredo at January 11, 2011 9:46 AM
Are you sure this post wasn't ghostwritten by Rex Ryan?
By the way a couple of these people look like they've OD'd on Vitamin Wonka.
Posted by: bleujayone at January 11, 2011 9:47 AM
Dustin Rowles - Putting the "ew" in Movie Reviews Since The Mid-Aughts.*
* H/T to The Impulsive Buy
Posted by: Groundloop at January 11, 2011 9:47 AM
Gross. Just gross. All the hot people included in this post do not make up for the ridiculous number of malformed and photoshopped feet that I just had to see.
Posted by: Nicole at January 11, 2011 9:49 AM
THAT'S GREAT HUSTLE.
/slaps Dustin's ass. Hard.
Posted by: Rex Ryan at January 11, 2011 9:50 AM
You are a perv, Dustin.
My testees and brain are confused..
Posted by: Magiel at January 11, 2011 9:51 AM
I don't know who the first guy is, but by God I would do very dirty things to him...and the Olyphant. I can ignore the feet.
Posted by: Jadine at January 11, 2011 9:55 AM
frankly, i'm suprised he didn't throw in any human centipede feet. i mean, they've got like 6 or 8 feet all in one body!
also, this is HORRIBLE. i don't even hate feet and i'm horrified.
is anyone going to comment about the last set of feet? those are FINGER TOES!!!!
Posted by: glittergirl at January 11, 2011 9:56 AM
is anyone going to comment about the last set of feet? those are FINGER TOES!!!!
Don't you dare judge me, you bitch.
Posted by: Monkeyfoot Johnson at January 11, 2011 9:57 AM
What the......It's a well-known fact that I hate toes. Hate them. I consider them by far the ugliest part of the human body. Summers are very hard on me with the world walking around exposing the hideous little digits. Men in flip-flops especially send me into a heated rage. Put some fucking shoes on: you're a grown up man whose testicles have presumably descended. In my nightmares my job is doing pedicures.
Must focus on the Olyphant. Just keep remembering the Olyphant.
Posted by: PaddyDog at January 11, 2011 9:58 AM
Whatever it is you were trying to accomplish, rest assured it remains unaccomplished.
Posted by: coryo at January 11, 2011 10:07 AM
What's a "podiatrist", Walter?
Posted by: branded at January 11, 2011 10:11 AM
My feet certainly won’t be turning anyone on. Anyone outside of the veiny, malformed, ape-feet fetish circle that is.
However, as I have recently discovered, there definitely is such a thing as a hot pair of feet, and you don’t have to have a Tarantino foot-fetish badge to think so. Unless my discovery does just mean that I am a newly inducted owner of this badge.
I confuse myself.
HOT FEET ARE HOT!
Posted by: zeke the pig at January 11, 2011 10:11 AM
You're a strange man, Rowles.
Posted by: Dugs at January 11, 2011 10:13 AM
Recondition, Rinse, Repeat
Posted by: Kargoyle at January 11, 2011 10:15 AM
Lost me at foot face
Posted by: ChristianH at January 11, 2011 10:21 AM
Reconditioning Your Libido
Fucking Up Your Erectile Abilities
There, I fixed it for you.
Posted by: Paultera at January 11, 2011 10:23 AM
That was strikethrough in the damn preview.
Posted by: Paultera at January 11, 2011 10:24 AM
That first dude is Rowles' fantasy projection of the future appearance of the Lesbian Tween with the Hair.
Posted by: lubeg at January 11, 2011 10:24 AM
Yes that foot thing is a fetish I do not own. Yay?
Posted by: Mrcreosote at January 11, 2011 10:26 AM
There's evil afoot.
Posted by: , at January 11, 2011 9:41 AM
-----------------------------
Well, I only just saw that, and what can I say; I’m a happy man.
Posted by: zeke the pig at January 11, 2011 10:32 AM
If I was stuck On an island or in a boat with no engine I would want that last one with me. They could do some crazy things In that water. amphibian !
Posted by: Shevylikethecar at January 11, 2011 10:42 AM
What the......It's a well-known fact that I hate toes. Hate them. I consider them by far the ugliest part of the human body. Summers are very hard on me with the world walking around exposing the hideous little digits. Men in flip-flops especially send me into a heated rage. Put some fucking shoes on: you're a grown up man whose testicles have presumably descended. In my nightmares my job is doing pedicures.
A resounding yes to ALL of this.
Posted by: jM at January 11, 2011 10:58 AM
Were those tiny toe condoms?
Posted by: Monica at January 11, 2011 10:58 AM
Thank you for that, Monkeyfoot Johnson. I had to run to the bathroom to pee, I was laughing so hard.
Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2011 11:00 AM
You gave Christina Hendricks pink toenails? Really? I'm disappointed, I honestly am.
Posted by: ada at January 11, 2011 11:02 AM
Really weird anecdote time: when I was a kid I used to always rub my parents' feet in the evenings. Sometimes I would trade it for doing dishes. We would put on a movie or they would read something and I would just massage their feet. It never really occured to me that it was gross or strange.
I was at a friend's house one day when I mentioned it. Her mother asked if I would rub hers if she paid me. Hot damn, thought I, an income! So I agreed.
This woman's feet... were worse. She had horrendous callouses basically all over. But the lady paid me, so I poured on the lotion. It wasn't traumatizing or anything, just odd.
To this day, I enjoy foot rubs, both giving and getting, but the hubs doesn't enjoy getting. Oh well, more for me.
....
I realize this all makes me sound... well, yeah, but I simply don't have the common aversion to feet. It actually makes me feel good to help someone. Ever washed someone's feet? Truly humbling.
Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 11, 2011 11:04 AM
Aaaaaand now you're all throwing up in your mouths.
I will show myself out...
Posted by: Patty O'Green at January 11, 2011 11:05 AM
As a member of the web-toed community, I am outraged and appalled that you saw fit not to include any of my web afflicted bretheren. We deserve to be ridiculed for our genetic abnormality as much as that guy with feet-face-itis. How dare you, Rowles? How? Dare? You?
Now, excuse me while I go tread water like a god damned champion water treader.
Posted by: RobP at January 11, 2011 11:06 AM
SHUT THE FUCK UP BRANDED!!
Posted by: Julie at January 11, 2011 11:06 AM
Patty O'Green, I don't think that's odd at all. I used to rub my parents feet all the time. To this day whenever my sister and I are over at my parents house, she'll throw her feet up on my lap and I'll give her a foot rub.
Then we fuck. All of us, while the kids watch.
What?
Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2011 11:07 AM
And for those obsessed with other peoples' feet in the summer... get over it. It's hot out, man. Feet need to breathe, too. And stop staring at my feet, anyway. If you find them disgusting, why are you staring?
(I like flip-flops, yes I do/ I wish I was barefoot now, how 'bout you?)
Posted by: RobP at January 11, 2011 11:09 AM
Patty O'Green, I don't think that's odd at all. I used to rub my parents feet all the time. To this day whenever my sister and I are over at my parents house, she'll throw her feet up on my lap and I'll give her a foot rub.
Then we fuck. All of us, while the kids watch.
What?
Posted by: superasente at January 11, 2011 11:07 AM
----------------
What, the family dog doesn't get in on the action?
Fucking prude
Posted by: zeke the pig at January 11, 2011 11:09 AM
Patty O'Green, I'm in the same boat as you, exactly. Rub parents feet, exchange etc. I don't understand the disgust. I mean, they're not pretty, but to me they're wonders of evolution. No one thinks steam shovels are pretty, but we're like damn, that's a fine piece of machinery there.
To paraphrase Chris Rock, I don't have a foot fetish...but I understand.
Posted by: Ian at January 11, 2011 11:13 AM
hmm, feet don't bother me. Libido still raging. meh.
Maybe because I have kind of weird feet myself. Nothing on the level of some of these (that last one is insane!) but my toes are really, really squished and some of them sort of fold under the other ones slightly. That makes it sound grosser than it looks. I'll stop now.
Posted by: ninetwenteetoo at January 11, 2011 11:15 AM
A healthy appreciation for feet never hurt nobody.
Except Andy on that one episode of Weeds.
Posted by: RobP at January 11, 2011 11:24 AM
(that last one is insane!)
Seriously, you people are assholes.
Posted by: Monkeyfoot Johnson at January 11, 2011 11:27 AM
Mmmmm Taylor Kitsch
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by: Anna von Beav at January 11, 2011 11:32 AM
I saw one lovely picture of Christina Hendricks. Any other photos were just a blur.
What was the test about again?
My addiction to voluptuous redheads?
Posted by: Simon at January 11, 2011 11:35 AM
There are other pictures in this post? I haven't gotten past the first one. Those eyes will haunt me for eternity.
Posted by: jthomas666 at January 11, 2011 11:42 AM
I complained because I had no shoes.
Then I met a man who had gross feet.
So I complained about his feet.
Posted by: , at January 11, 2011 12:00 PM
These pictures don't particularly bother me, but I have weird feet, so it's probably just that I'm used to seeing ugly toes. They're just another body part. I find nipples far more disgusting, so go figure.
I'm another foot rub enthusiast. The list of things I would not do in exchange for one is very short. Veeeery short.
Posted by: nosio at January 11, 2011 12:39 PM
I've been operating under the assumption that the last set of feet are photoshopped (sorry, Monkeyfoot)...can we get a ruling on this?
Posted by: Sara Tonin at January 11, 2011 12:54 PM
Hold on, I...Alexander Skarsgaard. So...no, wait, I can do this. Fee..Alexander Skarsgaard. Mm, libido. The purpose of this article... Skarsgaardian.
Posted by: PickleWolf at January 11, 2011 1:18 PM
Some of those women should seriously consider swapping out their Gays.
Posted by: Jerry at January 11, 2011 1:20 PM
I have sucked toes. I don't have a foot fetish, but when I like a woman, I like all of her. I do have a particular thing for pretty brunettes, and I know exactly who to blame for that.
Posted by: Lucas at January 11, 2011 2:17 PM
Can someone identify the woman in the banner pic, pretty please?
Posted by: vaskark at January 11, 2011 2:20 PM
Dustin, can you please go back man-loving Ryan Reynolds? I don't like the new you.
Posted by: BWeaves at January 11, 2011 2:28 PM
@vaskark: That's Alison Brie from Community and Mad Men. You're welcome.
Posted by: RobP at January 11, 2011 3:34 PM
frankly, i'm suprised he didn't throw in any human centipede feet. i mean, they've got like 6 or 8 feet all in one body!
Posted by: glittergirl at January 11, 2011 9:56 AM
For your viewing pleasure I present the Human
Centipede foot Tattoo.
Posted by: Jadine at January 11, 2011 3:49 PM
I'm far too late to be the first to make a Rex Ryan joke.
I don't feel very reconditioned. Those faces on the feet are creepy.
Posted by: DarthCorleone at January 11, 2011 3:51 PM
The feet under The Skarsgard are actually rather attractive...
Surely not the only toe-sucker in the house?
Posted by: Blinkin at January 11, 2011 5:53 PM
, - good stuff, brother.
Still laughing.
Posted by: Peter G at January 11, 2011 6:12 PM
Is Quentin Tarantino writing for Pajiba now?
Posted by: MelBivDevoe at January 11, 2011 7:17 PM
So, is 'Hookers Getting Pedicures' this year's 'Angry Birds'?
Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at January 11, 2011 8:59 PM
Patty my favorite part of your story is how you traded chores for giving foot rubs. Your parents had to be like MAN this is the life!
Posted by: Even Stevens at January 11, 2011 9:02 PM
To paraphrase figgy:
BBBRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Posted by: Uriah Creep at January 11, 2011 9:26 PM
Feet? What feet? Thank you, tunnel vision.
Posted by: Craig at January 12, 2011 12:41 PM
i need to ask something... it's been bothering me for a while and i think this is the place to ask.
the olyphant. does he have dentures?
i'm sorry!!! i know folks here dig him. i do too! but i spent the entire time watching "the crazies" (which i liked) wondering about his teeth.
again, sorry, but i had to ask.
Posted by: glittergirl at January 12, 2011 3:35 PM
GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HEAD. I have a serious crush on Alexander Skårsgard and David Tennant, and I fucking HATE feet. Actually, I like drawing them, but I hate my feet touched, and definitely get icked out just touching feet. THANKS FOR COMBINING MY MASTURBATION FANTASIES WITH MY DAILY HORRORS YOU FUCK.
Posted by: AlexaCastro at January 12, 2011 11:30 PM
I FUCKING HATE FEET. My cousin once chased me from the house by threatening to put her slimy, sweaty feet on me. GAH! GAH! GAH!