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I Wish I Could Be As Carefree and Wild: The Coolest Muppets

By Cindy Davis | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (72)



muppet-.jpg

If you ever watched “Battlestar Galactica,” you might recall that there were times when Admiral Adama gathered the ship’s crew to make a a speech or declaration or inspiring words of some sort; at the end of the speech, he would declare, “And so say we all.” Then the crew, in unison, would repeat it back to him—maybe not as loud as they should have—so he’d put on his big, badass voice and he’d say it again just to make sure everyone was in line. And those motherfrakkers were scared when he got pissy (dude drank), so they’d say it back even louder the second time, to placate him. Who knows if they really believed what he said or even if they would go along or plan a mutiny? The point is, this list is a little like that. You can harbor your resentments and you can feel like you might want to disagree, but you’d better buck up and just repeat after me, “So say we all.” I can’t hear you! SO SAY WE ALL.

As always, Waldorf and Statler remain outside the fray, likely denouncing the whole competition and grumbling about agism.

5. Animal:

animalglasses.png

Why he’s cool: He’s a drummer, man! He’s wild, unpredictable, loves the chicks but can’t be tied down. The perennial bachelor.

4. Oscar the Grouch:

OSCARGROUCH.jpg

Why he’s cool: Oscar was hoarding before it was cool. Dude lives in a garbage can, sings about trash and doesn’t give a hoot what anyone thinks of him. He helps kidlets learn about alternative lifestyles and to respect those who are different.

3. Swedish Chef:

swedishchef.jpg

Why he’s cool: He’s Swedish! He could be related to the Skarsgård—if nothing else, he comes from the same country—you can’t get any cooler than that. He cooks like a madman, doesn’t need a recipe, ain’t afraid of failure and speaks my grandmother’s language. Börk, börk, börk!

2. Beaker:

-beaker.jpg

Why he’s cool: He’s a scientist and a ginger. Beaker might be nerdy but with hair like that, he can’t help but be cool. No matter how many experiments go wrong, he marches on in the name of research and only he can make so much of one word: Meep. With merely facial expressions and tone, Beaker communicates everything in Meepish.

1. The Count:

Count'sHouse.JPG

Why he’s the coolest: The Count has taught the entire world to count. Top that. He’s old school vampire, all Transylvanian-accented and Lugosi-mannered; none of that sparkly Twilight crap. He lives, as any vampire should, in a cool castle and has pet bats and the Countmobile. As is appropriate, he’s a bit of a ladies’ man, he’s educated and he has a fantastic laugh. And if nothing else is around to be counted—he doesn’t lie about and languish—the Count simply counts himself.









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Comments

No love for Floyd Pepper?

Motherfracker's as cool as the other side of the pillow.

Posted by: Groundloop at May 20, 2011 4:06 PM

Cindy, I love your face, but Dr. Teeth and every member of The Electric Mayhem. But, chiefly, Janice, man.

Posted by: I Need More Allowance at May 20, 2011 4:08 PM

Plus Animal has Keith Moon's eyebrows as an homage.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 4:08 PM

I find this list distinctly unpatriotic.

Posted by: Sam the Eagle at May 20, 2011 4:11 PM

When The Boy used to watch Sesame Street, it never failed to crack me up when The Count von Count said "sewen". Grover gets more awesome over time too.

Kermit. (I just needed to say his name.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 4:11 PM

I'm assuming Animal is here to represent for the ELectric Mayhem. I would've taken Zoot (the sax player) personally but you know, chicks dig drummers.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 20, 2011 4:12 PM

Be cool man.

Posted by: Floyd Pepper at May 20, 2011 4:13 PM

Like it's totally cool, you know.

Posted by: Janice at May 20, 2011 4:14 PM

I'm not on this list because I'm too small. That's why, isn't it?

Posted by: Robin at May 20, 2011 4:15 PM

I'm not here because I don't exist.

Posted by: Snuffie at May 20, 2011 4:16 PM

The Count's full name? Count Von Count. Dude, it just doesn't get any better than your first and last name being the same. YOU HEAR THAT ROWLES!!! Also, how is Cookie Monster not in the coolest list? Is it the gluttony? Does he try too hard? Crumbs in the fur? What?

Posted by: Mrcreosote at May 20, 2011 4:16 PM

Posted by: branded at May 20, 2011 4:17 PM

I'm not on the list? MOI?

HI-YA!

Posted by: Miss Piggie at May 20, 2011 4:17 PM

I don't know if I can back you up on the Swedish Chef. Dude has human fingers, man. That's damn creepy.

The Count is the coolest though. Who doesn't want pet bats? And a monocle?

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 20, 2011 4:19 PM

Give cookie all forgiven.

Posted by: Cookie Monster at May 20, 2011 4:21 PM

Plus, y'all know I love a good set of eyebrows.

Poor Snuffie! You were always my favorite, buddy.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at May 20, 2011 4:22 PM

Ahhhh, tigh me up, tigh me down, Colonel Waldorf.

Posted by: I Need More Allowance at May 20, 2011 4:22 PM

Elmo knows where you live!

Posted by: Elmo at May 20, 2011 4:23 PM

Oscar also invited Mike Rowe to come in his back door. Possibly the best moment on Sesame Street ever?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2l0rhvTFCQ

Posted by: Sbrown at May 20, 2011 4:28 PM

Did Sbrown just make an obscene joke about Sesame Street? For shame, sir or madame, for shame!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 4:32 PM

I'm sorry to bring up a minor technicality here but Oscar and the Count never appeared in a single "Muppet" show or movie. They are Sesame Street characters.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muppet_Show

No "So say we all" here. Sorry.

Posted by: D at May 20, 2011 4:39 PM

Here is my entire argument in favor of Dr. Teeth, Janice, Zoot, and the entire Electric Mayhem - as well as Miss Piggy (NSFW - Miss Piggy singing teaches of Peaches):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owXttftUeV8

Posted by: mfg at May 20, 2011 4:42 PM

The term "muppet" was coined by Jim Henson as a hybrid of marionette and puppet. It's the correct term for creatures both Street and Show.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 4:43 PM

Oscar is more than a grouch. He is a full on prick. He has rude nicknames for most of the human residents on Sesame Street. For example he calls bald Gordon "Curly" and gave him a comb for his birthday. (Gordon tried to show him by combing his mustache, but it just looked pathetic in the attempt). I was told many times growing up not to emulate Oscar in either the way I kept my room or talked to people because clearly Oscar didn't get the corporal punishment he needed as a grouchling.

Oscar is Archie Bunker for the PBS audience. I have no doubt that off camera he had choice words for Ernie and Bert's living arrangements, a theory on what really went on in the Fix-It-Shop, Cookie Monster's gluttony, and Telly's bugnuts neurosis. And I suspected he was a closeted bigot when he was "accidentally" brought down to Mexico with the rest of the main cast during their 2 week Habitat for Humanity stint "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't wanna go to MEXICO?!?!?!?! Not there!!!!!!!". Then again if I woke up to find my home strapped to the back of a truck bound for another country without my approval I might be a little peeved about it too. You've got to wonder what that trip through customs was like.

Foul disposition aside, he hoards trash, has a pet earthworm, refuses to wash and sleeps in a trashcan. All he needs is a chemical dependency and he's be like most other homeless persons in NYC. Maybe he isn't a grouch, maybe he wasn't shaking in temper but it's just D.T.s.

Posted by: bleujayone at May 20, 2011 4:43 PM

Muppet is a reference to the puppets (and sometimes puppetry style) of Jim Henson. Not appearing on The Muppet Show, or in the various movies does not preclude one from being a muppet. Seasame Street and Fraggle Rock also employed many muppets.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 20, 2011 4:45 PM

And a square is also a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square.

Posted by: branded at May 20, 2011 4:48 PM

@Socrates_Johnson

Okay, but I reject your reality and substitute my own. Sorry, when I was a kid I watched Sesame Street and the Muppet Show. Never once did I refer to the Sesame Street gang as Muppets.

Posted by: D at May 20, 2011 4:56 PM

It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. The Macho Man is dead.

Posted by: The Mutt at May 20, 2011 5:01 PM

While I completely agree with your naming The Count as #1, I cannot help but feel you have overlooked Camilla the Hen. How cool to be "the love of Gonzo's life."

Posted by: klingonfree at May 20, 2011 5:02 PM

Good night sweet prince?

Is that appropriate?

Posted by: D at May 20, 2011 5:03 PM

Mrcreosote: "The Count's full name? Count Von Count. Dude, it just doesn't get any better than your first and last name being the same."

And that is why Jerome K. Jerome of "Three Men in a Boat" fame is my favorite author.

Posted by: BWeaves at May 20, 2011 5:04 PM

Gotta go with Yoda. That dude was centered.

Posted by: jon29 at May 20, 2011 5:05 PM

And Yoda is a perfect example of why the term muppet is not reserved for a specific show.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 5:08 PM

I know a local guy up for a Daytime Emmy for his work with the Sesame Street art department. Plus they made him his own muppet that looked just like him and it was on an episode. Very envious of that.

Anyway, love this list but I would add Gonzo to the list. I LOVE GONZO.

Posted by: pickled tink at May 20, 2011 5:09 PM

Gonzo was totally my favorite too.

I know they aren't Henson's muppets and they weren't around when I was a kid but I just have to mention Count Blah and Warren the Ape.

"This rug is CUT, motherfucker!"

Posted by: Paultera at May 20, 2011 5:20 PM

My all-time favorite is Skred, from SNL.

I even named my cat after it.

Posted by: The Mutt at May 20, 2011 6:21 PM

Cookie Monster lost mad cool when he became Veggie Monster.

Animal beat drum! Animal EAT DRUM!!!!

Posted by: FyreHaar at May 20, 2011 6:47 PM

Branded, that rocks so hard.

Posted by: Cindy at May 20, 2011 7:47 PM

@D: They are both Muppets and listed as such.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muppets

Posted by: Cindy at May 20, 2011 7:49 PM

"We're Marley and Marley!"

Posted by: MRod at May 20, 2011 8:25 PM

No love for Fozzy Bear?

Posted by: BarbadoSlim at May 20, 2011 9:17 PM

FOZZIE! It's FOZZIE BEAR!

God DAMN it Slim. That is completely unacceptable. Was it intentional? Are you trying to antagonize good, Muppet-loving people? Have you truly sunk so low in your quest to be provocative? How dare you sir? Good day.

I said GOOD DAY!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 20, 2011 9:22 PM

Nice Fez reference Mrs.J

It's Grover. It's all about Grover.

Big Bird, too tall
Oscar, too grouchy
The Count, too single-minded
Kermit, too green
Bert and Ernie, too gay ( not that there's anything wrong with that)
Elmo, too ticklish
Piggy, too hammy
Staler and Waldorf, too crotchety
Swedish Chef, too Swedish
Snufflupagus, too nasally

It's all about Grover

Posted by: kirbyjay at May 20, 2011 10:19 PM

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOF5s9k-cLA

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 20, 2011 10:25 PM

Grover RULES! None of those other losers are actually superheros AND waiters. Hrumph.

Posted by: TWoPFan at May 20, 2011 11:55 PM

Pepe the King Prawn and Rizzo were always my absolute favorites. They were so spazzy and hilarious. LOVE THEM.

Posted by: Figgy at May 21, 2011 12:07 AM

When I'm alone I count myself...
I count slowly, slowly, slowly getting faster. Once I start counting it's very hard to stop.

Posted by: Lucas at May 21, 2011 1:12 AM

If we're talkin any muppet, I'd have to go with Fizzgig

Posted by: Protoguy at May 21, 2011 2:53 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSFLZ-MzIhM
All of us under its spell, we know that its probably magic...

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at May 21, 2011 5:28 AM

Yeah I'm having a hard time arguing with much on this list, but IMHO two glaring omissions:

- Yoda (the sheer genius alone to make that for 1980. and to give him Miss Piggy's voice)

- Ker-Mit. C'mon, now. He is the Muppet amongst Muppets, n'est pas? Give the feller his due! It easy bein' green.

Trust me. I know...

Posted by: Green Lantern at May 21, 2011 7:36 AM

@Figgy - I ALSO love Pepe, okaaaaaaay?

Posted by: Green Lantern at May 21, 2011 7:37 AM

My personal faves:

Gonzo the Great (Loved his stunts and his unnatural lust for chickens.)

The Swedish Chef (Made me think of Dan Akroyd as Julia Child a few times, which was fun.)

Sweetums (Come on now! Where's the love for the plus-size Muppets?)

Posted by: The Wanderer at May 21, 2011 7:37 AM

Not my favorite character, but the best Muppet name is easily Lou Zealand. That's inspired.

Posted by: The Mutt at May 21, 2011 9:45 AM

Pepe is the best.

It could be filled with chocolate, OKAY?

Posted by: stardust at May 21, 2011 9:54 AM

No love for Lew Zealand? He dresses like a jester and throws fish at people! What's not to love?

Posted by: spoobnooble at May 21, 2011 10:27 AM

I didn't see your comment before I posted, The Mutt, my apologies. Though you did misspell Lew's name, which is only a minor error.

Posted by: spoobnooble (abashed) at May 21, 2011 10:30 AM

I seriously love those old crabby guys best.
BUT
Skred!
Oscar! (Bleujayone, that was great.)
Grover!
And that pissed off guy Grover was always serving!
Guy Smiley! He's not my favorite, but I liked the way it was his head that went up and down, instead of his jaw. Always made me laugh.

BWeaves! Three Men In A Boat was a RIOT!

Posted by: Chickaboom at May 21, 2011 12:30 PM

Seriously, no more love for Rizzo? He's hilarious! He's all spazzy and googly-eyed and brilliant!

Posted by: Figgy at May 21, 2011 12:59 PM

My real name being Guy, I always had a love/hate thing for Guy Smiley

Posted by: Protoguy at May 21, 2011 1:41 PM

Gonzo, all the way.

Coolest muppeteer, excepting Jim Henson, was Richard Hunt. Its a sign of how good he was that so many of his characters are on this list.

Posted by: idiosynchronic at May 21, 2011 4:32 PM

@Chickaboom: "And that pissed off guy Grover was always serving!"

RNC chairman Michael Steele.

Posted by: The Mutt at May 21, 2011 5:32 PM

I will always love Pepe and Rizzo for their roles in Muppet Treasure Island (the computer game more than the movie).

Posted by: SaBrina at May 21, 2011 5:58 PM

Che Grovera isn't weighing in on this topic? Really?

I've always been a Gonzo fan, myself...oh, and Wembley and Boober Fraggle too. Charming little bundles of neuroses, the lot of them.

Posted by: meaux at May 21, 2011 9:15 PM

@The Mutt: exactly!

Posted by: Chickaboom at May 21, 2011 9:16 PM

Where the fuck is PRARIE DAWN, that bitch ruled.

Posted by: chris concert at May 22, 2011 3:32 AM

and where the hell is FORGETFUL JONES???

Posted by: chris concert at May 22, 2011 3:33 AM

Yes! Rizzo!

Posted by: MRod at May 22, 2011 3:58 PM

Sweetums and Camilla. Camilla had mad poultry steeze.

Posted by: JHal at May 23, 2011 12:29 AM

For anyone who's seen Muppet Treasure Island, ya gotta give it up for...wait for it.....CLUELESS MORGAN !

Posted by: besis at May 23, 2011 10:24 AM

"I am not a shrimp - I am a king prawn"

Posted by: homeslice at May 23, 2011 3:22 PM

Did I ever tell y'all about the nightmare that I had about Big Bird being a mafia thug? He and I were beating up a dude with bats (I guess I was a thug, too) and then he bit the guys legs off. I never saw that bird the same again. *shudder*

Posted by: pickled tink at May 23, 2011 9:40 PM

Good day to everyone. Being a "public property" (as we all believed that entertainers are) i for one respect Mr. Bieber as human and i understand his feelings and on the time that he had his concert in Manila (whatever it is...he is sick...), supposedly he asked his bodyguards or the In-charge of the concert to excuse himself that no autograph signing or pictorial after his concert down to airport for the fact that he is not feeling well, he should not act as if he will be served by excited teens and adults filipinos, remember Mr. Bieber that those fans of yours are your source of what you are enjoying right now, you choose to be an entertainer so be it, as the saying goes "the show must go on" whether you like it or not, the only thing is just, be kind as possible because you choose to be in the limelight. This is not only for Mr. Bieber but also to all our local,and foreign actors, actresses or entertainers for that matter in fairness, we fans should also be conscious of what our entertainers are feeling, r doing for the moment if we can be polite i am pretty sure they will not be rude too. "positive actions begets positive actions", "positive attitudes begets positive attitudes" learn from your experience guys.....good luck for more local and foreign concerts to come....

Posted by: call centre at June 21, 2011 1:21 AM