Seriously Random Lists |
September 29, 2009 | Comments (126)
I probably should’ve done so before reviewing the most recent remake of Fame, but I checked out the trailer for the original and quickly realized that my perception of the 1980 movie was completely off. There was no edge; no grit; no seediness. That was just old film stock and bad camera work. The trailer brought it all back: 1980’s Fame was every bit as edgeless and cheesy as the 2009 version. It’s possible, even, that the newer version might be slightly better.
So, I decided to look back at the trailers for some other 80’s favorites. Unsurprisingly, quite a few of those movies have held up well: Romancing the Stone, Beatlejuice, Wall Street, and Beverly Hills Cop, to name a few. Sure, there’s a certain 80s aesthetic that’s hard to look past, but if you can overlook the synth pop and the bad hair, those movies still hold up fairly well.
However, these five did not. I’d planned to write descriptions, but the trailers will more than suffice to prove my point. If you loved these movies when you were an early teenager, you’re excused. If you loved them past the age of 20, then you need to get your head checked.
Honorable Mentions: Risky Business, Purple Rain, Red Dawn, Three Amigos and The Big Chill.
"Is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City?"
Only if Keaton is rocking Tom Cruise-style lift boots.
Posted by: Pinky McLadybits at September 29, 2009 2:11 PM
Well, I just had my head checked, and I'm fine, so the problem must be at your end. The only one on the list I would agree with is "Three Amigos", which was dreck when it was new, and I would imagine has not aged well, as dreck usually doesn't.
And you should know better than to judge any movie by the trailers. Rent the original "Fame", and watch it, then post your opinion. I'm sure it will be much better informed. Or not.
I'm beginning to wonder about you people.
-Ralphie
Posted by: Ralphie at September 29, 2009 2:15 PM
Krush Groove?
Teen Wolf?
Posted by: Carolina Girl at September 29, 2009 2:15 PM
Goonies!?!?! GOONIES?!?
How dare you sir! I've forgiven you for a lot of things over the years Rowles, but this? This shall not be forgotten!! No one sullies the good name of the Goonies and gets away with it!
*grabs her double-double and heads for America*
I'm here to kick ass and chew bubbegum, and baby - I'm all outta bubblegum.
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? What the hell is wrong with The Goonies? It still works and my niece and nephews under 13 love it.
Did your soul die?
What movie is beatlejuice?
Posted by: badalamenti at September 29, 2009 2:22 PM
Superman II remains not only one of the best super hero movies of all time, but one of the best sequels of all time. Lex Luthor and General Zod are hillarious. The fight between Superman and Zod's crew in Metropolis is outstanding. Even though the effects are obviously quite dated, it's still a classic, super hero in a city battle.
This is still a very good movie and I've seen it within the last few years. Same with Goonies.
Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 29, 2009 2:24 PM
Fuck you, The Goonies. That trailer sucked, but the film has aged just fine. It will be a thing of beauty and joy forever.
Posted by: Lizzie (greeneyed fem) at September 29, 2009 2:26 PM
I think that with today’s advancements in technology both “Superman” and “War games” though good movies when they came out, now seem so juvenile technically speaking. “Working Girl” sadly to say might be viewed as being condescending to women only because of the strides women have made in the work place. Jack Nicholson playing a villain is timeless no matter what decade. I’m proud to say I’ve never seen the “Goonies.”
Posted by: Nancy at September 29, 2009 2:28 PM
If you loved them past the age of 20, then you need to get your head checked.
Dustin, you are out of your gourd on this one.
WarGames is a fucking masterpiece. A flat out masterpiece. It's timelessly allegorical, and the scene at Falken's house with the monologue about the dinosaurs and the bees and our destructive nature is one of my favorites in movie history.
Superman II?!? Give me a break. Terence Stamp owns all in that! Sure, the effects are a bit dated, but in terms of dialogue and story, it remains one of if not the greatest superhero movies made. And, yes, it's far more interesting than Pajiba's precious (and terribly stock) Iron Man, and I daresay it trumps The Dark Knight as well.
I'll give you that Batman is a little thin, but it's still fun to watch to Jack ham it up, and it has one of the greatest scores in film history. I'd much rather watch it than the stodgy Batman Begins.
Working Girl? It's a pretty good movie and doesn't deserve mention here either. I'm not sure what about it hasn't aged well. Are we criticizing these movies for not being relevant anymore or simply because they are so obviously products of the 80s?
I never did like The Goonies, but I think you'll get a fairly passionate argument against its not holding up by a legion of fans.
Meanwhile, the very fact that you put both Risky Business and The Big Chill in the same honorable mention list as Red Dawn cements the fact that you're the one who needs the mental exam.
Of course, we all already knew that. :- )
Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 29, 2009 2:29 PM
So right-on about Batman. Now that Christopher Nolan has relaunched the franchise so masterfully, watching the Burton original is now an absolute cringefest. You can still take great pleasure out of Nicholson devouring the scenery (if only because he looks as though HE'S having such a grand time,) but it's really embarrassingly awful on the whole. How did we not recognize that at the time?
Posted by: Martin at September 29, 2009 2:30 PM
I probably should’ve done so before reviewing the most recent remake of Fame, but I checked out the trailer for the original and quickly realized that my perception of the 1980 movie was completely off. There was no edge; no grit; no seediness.... So, I decided to look back at the trailers for some other 80’s favorites.
Ahh... You did this all based on the trailers. Yes, because as fans of film we all know that trailers always accurately represent a movie. All movies with awesome trailers are awesome. All of them. You can totally tell everything about a movie just from its trailer. I forgot about that simple truth.
Sorry about my post above about Superman II and Goonies. I hadn't realized that you had actually gone back and watched the trailer when making this list.
That changes everything.
Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 29, 2009 2:34 PM
What the fuck....The Goonies?!
Dustin, did you kill your inner child? That's illegal, you know.
How dare you insult Superman II? You clearly made this list just to fuck with us.
Posted by: MM at September 29, 2009 2:43 PM
I just watched Goonies AGAIN over the weekend, and it was all kinds of cool fun. DO NOT FUCK WITH THE GOONIES!!!! GOONIES NEVER QUIT!!
Kelly, I'm waiting for you at the border, baby. We gotta teach Mr. Fancy-Pants Rowles a thing or two, One-Eyed Willie style!!
Posted by: dammitjanet at September 29, 2009 2:44 PM
This list failed.
Try again.
Posted by: Colin at September 29, 2009 2:49 PM
I'm going from long memory here, but: Doesn't Melanie Griffth show her tits in "Working Girl"?
There's never been a woman who flashed her tits in a movie and at the time everyone said, "Wow, those are some terrific tits!" and then 20 years later watched the same movie and thought, "Meh, those tits aren't at all what I remembered. They just don't hold up [tee-hee] well."
In movies, my man, tits are timeless.
Posted by: , (TCFKAB) at September 29, 2009 2:53 PM
Goonies?!? Shenanigans. That movie rocked my childhood and I made a truffle shuffle joke just yesterday! Timeless.
Good Day to you sir!
Posted by: Kiddo at September 29, 2009 2:55 PM
Wow I don't usually disagree so vehemently. But the Goonies? Risky Business? WarGames? NO NO NO and NO.
Posted by: Nimue at September 29, 2009 2:55 PM
I think that Batman still holds up and I'd say it is far more enjoyable to rewatch than Batman Begins, which was simply not a fun movie-- seriously, is there one quotable line in that movie?
And I bigtime disagree on The Big Chill-- I first saw that movie when I was ten years old or so and I enjoyed it, but it gets more and more resonant with me as I age. In my thirties now, I relate to that movie as much as any I can think of off the top of my head. While I didn't grow up with Vietnam or Nixon like the film's characters did, the relationships between the characters and how they change between their twenties and their thirties is entirely relatable. So is the struggle between the optimism and integrity of youth and the responsibilities and compromises of growing older.
Screw it, I'm gonna listen to the soundtracks for the rest of my workday.
Posted by: SackmementoCalifornia at September 29, 2009 2:57 PM
(Ahem) BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, SON OF JOR-EL. KNEEL. KNELL BEFORE ZOD!
Feeling these movies haven't aged well is one thing. Feeling that way based on the trailers is weak sauce.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 29, 2009 3:00 PM
I'm... I'm afraid it's come down to this. Dustin, you warned us this might happen. Some time ago, you installed a double-bolted safe in the MurderTank containing a detailed list of what to do in a situation such as this. Shortly after this Random List went live, two higher-ranking, key-holding Pajibans arrived at the MurderGarage to open the safe and follow through on a promise made years ago, when this site was in it's infancy.
As discussed, your wife and child will remain unharmed - as we speak they're being taken to a safehouse down by the docks. There's no point in running - you've had a tracking device implanted, unbeknownst to you, when you received your tattoo at SXSW in Austin. You're best course of action is to shut down the site temporarily until a new hierarchy is decided upon, and the site can function without you. The MurderTank is coming. Of course, you already know this. You know this because Mister Rowles knows this.
Please don't put up a fight. It'll only make things harder than they need to be...
Skittimus Maximus Esquire III,
MurderTank Pilot #382
Midwest Division
Posted by: Skitz at September 29, 2009 3:03 PM
The Goonies? Now you're begging to be pooped on.
Posted by: Friendless Nerd at September 29, 2009 3:04 PM
Though I won't go into a (justifiable) tirade, I've gotta say that I'm with the readers on this one. Honestly, I'm most upset with your inclusion of Three Amigos.
Haven't seen The Goonies in ages. Superman II I'll disagree simply because I'm programed since childhood to disagree. However, Batman has fallen off its perch thanks to the trainwreck that were Shoemaker's sequels and the awesome that have been Nolan's movies.
Oh and TCKAFB, I caught Under Siege the other night on HBO and had a chance to see a pre-Baywatch Erika Eleniak's rack again (which I hadn't since seeing this movie when I was a kid). And you know what? Those are still a sweet pair.
Posted by: Fredo at September 29, 2009 3:13 PM
TCFKAB,
I don't think it is an issue of the tits themselves holding up,as much as it is the impossibly high standards we have placed on the tits of today.
Tits in the 21st century have massive expectations mounded upon them. They are expected to stand up for themselves, never wilt or sag in the face of adversity, point the way to a better tomorrow, inspire the hearts and minds of millions, rise above the fray, and do so all the while being simultaneously held up as objects of desire and scorn.
Tits of today, I feel your pain.
We all feel you.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 3:15 PM
FAIL.
Posted by: Kate at September 29, 2009 3:16 PM
I rewatched War Games not too long ago and still thought it was a very good, intelligent movie with a lot of great dialogue. There is one huge, gaping plot hole, though -- in the beginning of the movie we're told that WOPR spends all its time playing an endless series of war games in an effort to develop strategies. Then at the end of the movie, they convince Joshua/WOPR, by making it run through a bunch of nuclear war scenarios, that such a war would be pointless. But if it had been spending all that time playing war games, wouldn't it have figured that out already?
Fun fact: the NORAD control room was the most expensive movie set ever built up to that point.
Posted by: Todd at September 29, 2009 3:17 PM
THE GOONIES!?!? No way, dude! You cannot base this list on trailers you watched on youtube! Trailers from the 80s were not as sophisticated as they are now. For example, trailers back then did not show the whole movie or even the best parts of the movie. While today, you can be sure that after seeing the trailer you have seen the best the movie has to offer. It's just not the same. You are granted a do-over...but make it count! I'm watching you!
Posted by: James at September 29, 2009 3:19 PM
Tracer Bullet you remind me of my boyfriend with all of that kneel down talk, though he’s not telling me to kiss his ring. And yes, the "Goonies" still suck.
Posted by: Nancy at September 29, 2009 3:20 PM
I think that Batman still holds up and I'd say it is far more enjoyable to rewatch than Batman Begins, which was simply not a fun movie-- seriously, is there one quotable line in that movie?
"I'm not going to kill you, but I'm not going to save you."
Batman Begins is better than you give credit, it works better as a whole than as pieces, kind of like the original Star Wars. Christopher Nolan did things so perfectly, he made Tim Burton look childish, and Joel Schumacher look even more like an antichristal gay porn director.
Posted by: George at September 29, 2009 3:20 PM
You want to have a titty meltdown? Try watching "SOB" today.
Julie Andrews goes topless.
Posted by: Bweaves at September 29, 2009 3:20 PM
OK, I have never actually seen Superman 2, so I laughed out loud at this trailer.
Brilliant! Especially at the 1:37 mark when Mr Oooooo is flying through the air making sounds like a cappuccino machine!
As for the rest, I don't mind them.
I won't say how old I was when I saw them because I don't want to date myself.
I did actually date myself once . It didn't work out.
I wound up not talking to myself for weeks.
It was really awkward. Got laid though..
Posted by: Odnon at September 29, 2009 3:23 PM
Wargames? Aged poorly? Are you on fucking crack?
Honestly, you want 80s movies that haven't aged well, you're not talking about Wargames or The Goonies or Superman II or all these other films where the filmmakers were actually concerned about realistic plot and character within their story world. None of these films were particularly monster hits, either (well, maybe Superman II, but it was no Superman in terms of box office).
For 80s films that have aged badly, you're talking Top Gun.Commando.Flashdance.Porky's.Arthur.Three Men and a Baby. Young Guns. Twins. The Untouchables. Bachelor Party. The Big Chill. Every one a huge hit; every one, revealed over time to be unwatchable dreck.
Posted by: mightygodking at September 29, 2009 3:26 PM
Ok, I know I'm sick and my head's a little swimmy, and the cough medicine is probably messing with my head a bit, and I slept a long time last night, but did I sleep through the entire fall and winter? Is it April 1st already?
Posted by: DontStopNow at September 29, 2009 3:27 PM
Lindsey with an 'e': Good show, old bean. Damn good show. To the EE with you.
Nancy, your boyfriend calls you Son of Jor-El? I mean, that's cool if role-playing is your thing, but that's kinky in ways I don't want to address.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 29, 2009 3:28 PM
Batman? Like, the non-miserable Batman? What is wrong with you, dude? I know you luuuurve the Christopher Nolan stuff but some of us grew up with the Adam West Batman and we need our camp, dammit.
And for the record, Frank Miller needs to stop now. Comic book movies don't all have to be fucking dark and miserable, thank you very much.
You damn kids today with your broody Batmen and your chilling nihlistic Jokers don't know how good you've got it. You know what we had before Tim Burton's Batman? Do you? We had Adam West..a few serials from the 40s...and that's it. That's fucking it. No Batman animated series, no Brave and the Bold, nothing but a chunky C level actor and a stable of vaguely amusing guest villians. Hell, the biggest innovation to come out of that show was Bat-tusi! And suddenly in 1989 Batman was cool, with his rubber suit and his bad-ass car and even the poison hot air balloons paying homage to old comics. Yes the sequals fucked it up, but the original Batman proved the medium worked. It's still watchable today, even if the effects are aged. Oh, and Purple Rain is timeless. Timeless! You kids get off my lawn!
Posted by: mrcreosote at September 29, 2009 3:31 PM
Fail, frat boy. Serious fail.
Posted by: Whorish Mouth at September 29, 2009 3:31 PM
For 80s films that have aged badly, you're talking Top Gun. Commando. Flashdance.....
That is a pretty good line, George, I will grant you that. And rest assured that I'm not defending the Schumacher films, just the original,which I will gladly take in an instant over Batman Begins. I'm still furious that they went with the 'training in a remote temple' cliche.
Maybe I'm sentimental for the original Batman and the fever that came with it (no film in my lifetime has come close to the vibe and ubiquity of it upon its release), but I was honestly very disappointed in Batman Begins. The Dark Knight, however, really impressed me.
Posted by: SackmementoCalifornia at September 29, 2009 3:36 PM
You motherfucker! Cheese only improves with age.
You can enjoy any piece of dogshit on an ironic level. Commando is a terrible, terrible action movie by any reasonable standard: it's slow and plodding and boring and the action is tedious. When there are so many good Arnold actioners from the period (the Conan films, The Running Man, Total Recall, et cetera), holding up Commando as having any value whatsoever is like holding up a sign saying "I AM A HIPSTER PLEASE KICK ME IN THE NUTS."
Posted by: mightygodking at September 29, 2009 3:38 PM
Thanks Tracer. I just feel that tits need our support.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 3:42 PM
Huh, Goonies hater, huh? What kind of life do you lead outside of Pajiba?
And Working Girl? "I have a head for business and a bod for sin." How could that EVER go out of style??
Posted by: Goddess at September 29, 2009 3:42 PM
Damn, Christopher Reeve was CUTE!
You want to watch something that hasn't aged well, try the 70's movie I watched the other night, "Logan's Run." CHEESETASTIC! It has it all.
1. More spandex than you can shake a stick at.
2. Miniatures so small that I thought the giant dome everyone lived in was a contact lens.
3. Farah Fawcett-Majors in her worst role ever.
4. Jenny Agutter, kinda nekkid even while clothed.
5. Michael York and his glow in the dark teeth.
6. Peter Ustinov and CATS.
7. Apparently everyone in the 23rd century wears vintage 1970's haircuts. (This is why I don't get tattoos. It's hard to guess your age unless you have a tattoo that gives it away.)
I really think 70's movies beat 80's movies in on "not aging well" scale.
Posted by: BWeaves at September 29, 2009 3:43 PM
WARGAMES? You have a problem with WarGames?
Look, I'll spot you the side-parted hair and leotard on Ally Sheedy (Why, exactly did she need to be stretching in a leotard to take a phone call? It's 1983, and that's the only possible explanation for this most suspect of directorial choices.) but WarGames is awesome, plot holes and outmoded tech be damned.
And back the fuck up off of Working Girl and Goonies.
I may need to get my head checked, but you need to get your soul checked, man.
Posted by: Brook at September 29, 2009 3:46 PM
Skitz, Mr. Dammit has loaded up several cases of moonshine from the fam, and I have high-powered rifles and knives packed and ready to go. I also have baked lasagna and pumpkin rolls. We await your arrival.
Mr. & Mrs. Dammit
rural Indiana (location withheld for security reasons)
Posted by: dammitjanet at September 29, 2009 3:51 PM
For 80s films that have aged badly, you're talking... Young Guns. The Untouchables. Every one a huge hit; every one, revealed over time to be unwatchable dreck.
I was all fired up and ready to call DR to task for putting The Goonies on this list (who else often gets Cyndi Lauper's "The Goonies Are Good Enough" stuck in his/her head?) until I saw mightygodking call out Young Guns and The Untouchables.
WTF?!!? Thou shalt not take Estevez or Connery in vain!
Skitz - make sure the MurderTank swings by MGK's house, too.
Posted by: JH at September 29, 2009 3:52 PM
Todd >> Joshua hadn't been playing Tic Tac Toe. The futility therein is the extra push he needed.
Also, I think they just got lucky that it was those iterations at the end of the movie that finally enabled Joshua's learning ability to understand the point. Computers moved extremely slowly back in the early 80s. :- )
Posted by: DarthCorleone at September 29, 2009 3:54 PM
Dustin, you are on so many drugs. I don't know how or when you fell and cracked your head but fuck you for saying a word against Goonies.
And Working Girl has held up just fine, so suck it.
And so has Batman.
I watched WarGames recently, and I think it's the first time I've seen the opening scene, with a very (very) young Michael Madsen and John Spencer/Leo McGarry from The West Wing hanging out in a bunker about to nuke the world. I think it's awesome for that alone.
Did you see Goonies as a kid, Rowles? If not, that might explain it.
There is a phenomenon that I call "80s Movie Syndrome"(80MS). There are many films from the 80s that all my friends saw in the 80s and loved. I saw them in the 90s or even more recently than that, and they just didn't do it for me. I think this was because I was too far removed from the cultural context of the films when I saw them.
Examples (please don't kill me):
Pretty in Pink Sixteen Candles
Come to think of it, anything with Molly Ringwald in it Say Anything (I know -- I tried, honest) The Breakfast Club (OWW!! Stop throwing things! That hurt!)
The only movie that held up for me outside of the 80s was Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Even in the 90s, I could appreciate the appeal of a day on the lam from school and getting chased around town by a crazy principal while trying to avoid your parents.
And that scene where Jennifer Grey and the principle sneak up on each other and then she kicks him in the face -- gets me every time!!!
Posted by: Jelinas at September 29, 2009 4:06 PM
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Tracer, before you get swept up in Nancy's bullshit, please be advised:
It's Pookie/Guess Who.
That aside, the inclusion of Three Amigos and Goonies makes me very murderousy.
Also, Batman has the best line ever: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
I frickin love that line. I just like to say it randomly at times. Not out loud, because I live in London and you can get stabbed for sneezing on public transport here.
~I don't think it is an issue of the tits themselves holding up,as much as it is the impossibly high standards we have placed on the tits of today.
Tits in the 21st century have massive expectations mounded upon them. They are expected to stand up for themselves, never wilt or sag in the face of adversity, point the way to a better tomorrow, inspire the hearts and minds of millions, rise above the fray, and do so all the while being simultaneously held up as objects of desire and scorn.
Tits of today, I feel your pain.
We all feel you.~
I picture someone saying this on a podium in front of a waving flag, while the national anthem plays in the background and the crowd holds up signs saying tits unite!
Posted by: Michin at September 29, 2009 4:09 PM
holding up Commando as having any value whatsoever is like holding up a sign saying "I AM A HIPSTER PLEASE KICK ME IN THE NUTS."
I don't think there's anything hipster about liking Commando. All that says is you were a teenager in the 80s. Most hipsters today are much younger than that.
Besides, Commando had Alyssa Milano. And the Sherman Oaks Galleria.
Posted by: MM at September 29, 2009 4:10 PM
C'mon, Working Girl is not that bad!! Sure, the wardrobes and soundtrack shriek "80's" at the top of theisr lungs, but the plot is a timeless Cinderella story combined with the American dream. We get to see Alec Baldwin in an early version of the D-bag roles that are now his bread-and-butter. Plus, there is a young, sexy Harrison Ford to woo our self-sufficient heroine! It's a lot less stupid than 90% of the romantic comedies out today.
Posted by: Empress of All the Russias at September 29, 2009 4:10 PM
I'm coming out of a self-imposed Pajiba Silence to clarify that Melanie Griffith doesn't just show her tits in "Working Girl." She vacuums naked!!!
Skitz, Make sure you bring a life-size cut-out of Ryan Reynolds with you in the MurderTank -- that's the only way you're going to lure Rowles out of his bunk(er).
Posted by: jimbob at September 29, 2009 4:13 PM
There is a difference between movies that have stood the test of time and movies that hold a special place in our hearts. Being too young to have fond memories of any of these and having seen them all in recent years, I feel confident in saying that every movie on this list is fucking terrible. Which isn't to say the Goonies isn't fun, or that Working Girl isn't ridiculously awesome, they totally are. But War Games? We watched that movie in a Game Theory class because my professor didn't feel like teaching that day, and it's fucking horrible.
And suddenly in 1989 Batman was cool, with his rubber suit and his bad-ass car and even the poison hot air balloons paying homage to old comics. Yes the sequals fucked it up, but the original Batman proved the medium worked. It's still watchable today, even if the effects are aged.
Posted by: mrcreosote at September 29, 2009 3:31 PM
I really have nothing at all to add to that. Burton's "Batman" is an excellent movie, and it hasn't aged badly at all. And it and "Batman Returns" are a LOT more fun than the Nolan movies.
And sorry, "The Goonies" works very well still, though I would allow for a remastered release - the cut I saw on TV two weeks ago is looking pretty shabby. The rickety tech is the point of the movie.
~
And suddenly in 1989 Batman was cool, with his rubber suit and his bad-ass car and even the poison hot air balloons paying homage to old comics. Yes the sequals fucked it up, but the original Batman proved the medium worked. It's still watchable today, even if the effects are aged.
Posted by: mrcreosote at September 29, 2009 3:31 PM
I really have nothing at all to add to that. Burton's "Batman" is an excellent movie, and it hasn't aged badly at all. And it and "Batman Returns" are a LOT more fun than the Nolan movies.
And sorry, "The Goonies" works very well still, though I would allow for a remastered release - the cut I saw on TV two weeks ago is looking pretty shabby. The rickety tech is the point of the movie.
~
Or for some of us, both hands.
Tits of the world, rise up!
Unite!
Cleave together!
Shit, I am going to be thinking of this all day at work now.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 4:29 PM
Throw off the shackles of your ill-fitting bras! You have nothing to lose but painful ridges in your skin and unsightly monoboob.
Posted by: Tracer Bullet at September 29, 2009 4:32 PM
Thanks admin - my mind is still reeling from it.
Lindsey - I also fully support your cause.
And I will also be thinking of this all day.
Thanks for the mammaries!
Posted by: Odnon at September 29, 2009 4:33 PM
I'm guessing you never saw the original of Fame. Was it annoyingly navel gazing and self congratulating? Yes, but I feel that way about A Chorus Line, too, so that could just be me. However, let's compare some of the basic premises behind the two movies.
One is a rated R flick, where, just after the sexual revolution, gay rights, and civil rights shows a group of teenagers, integrating, coming out of the closet, having interracial sex and aborting the child of said Oreo liason. Oh, and then some perv convinces Coco to take her top off for the camera.
The other is a PG flick full of Disney Channel wanna bes and has almost no cussing, mention of sexuality, and some chick gets caught making out on You Tube. Coco never takes her top off, and instead of working for things, some girl gets a MAJOR opportunity based on an another YouTube video (which, would NEVER happen. There's plenty of just as talented dancers actually going to the auditions. The best you might get is a scheduled audition, but that's about it, especially since no director or casting agent wants to deal with another immature oh-so-talented American Idol wanna-be "diva").
So, which one was actually edgy and worth your time? I think we both know the answer to that.
Posted by: Rowen at September 29, 2009 4:35 PM
Michin:
I swear I didn't see your post until after I wrote the last response to Tracer. You interpreted my vision beautifully. 'Tits Unite' indeed.
How about:
"People's Front for United Tits"
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 4:38 PM
GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!!! ...unlike Dustin
Posted by: marcusarilius007 at September 29, 2009 4:42 PM
Tracer Bullet my boyfriend is a superman geek, he was like that when I first met him. I’ve seen superman so many times I can almost recite the whole movie.
Posted by: Nancy at September 29, 2009 4:43 PM
One is a rated R flick, where, just after the sexual revolution, gay rights, and civil rights shows a group of teenagers, integrating, coming out of the closet, having interracial sex and aborting the child of said Oreo liason. Oh, and then some perv convinces Coco to take her top off for the camera.
Posted by: Rowen at September 29, 2009 4:35 PM
Uh, hello, Rowen? Was any of that stuff in the trailer? If not, then IT DOESN'T COUNT. The trailer is the film. That's what was/is. The actual movie? Fuck that shit. The trailer is where it's at, yo.
Posted by: Forbiddendonut at September 29, 2009 4:45 PM
HEEEEEEEEYY YOOOOOOOUUUUU GUUUUUUYYYYYSSSSS
What are you smokin' Dustin? Goonies is still a hilarious movie.
Also, I think Batman is kinda meh now, but Batman Returns is the tits.
Posted by: s. pisaster at September 29, 2009 4:48 PM
S.C.H.M.E.E.B.S! Superlatively Clever High Minded Eloquent Eloquence Boobs Society!
Posted by: Odnon at September 29, 2009 4:53 PM
It always comes down to tits and Batman on this site, doesn't it?
Posted by: mrcreosote at September 29, 2009 4:56 PM
Speaking of Tits and Melanie Griffith....
Nobodys Fool. With Paul Newman (great flick)
Google it.
I will wait....
Your welcome.
Posted by: badalamenti at September 29, 2009 5:05 PM
i knew this SRL was going to piss me off.
it just shouldn't have been created in the first place.
Rowles, you are very quickly losing cred with me. Leave the Goonies alone, the movie was and remains perfect.
Posted by: benjamin at September 29, 2009 5:10 PM
Working Girl was ass when it came out - with the exception of the awesomeness that is Sigourney Weaver. But "Let the River Run" is on my Ipod right now. Yes. Yes it is.
Posted by: greer at September 29, 2009 5:17 PM
Odnon:
I have never been a joiner, but if you can post the S.C.H.M.E.E.B.S manifesto, I might just sign up.
Up With Tits!
Also, I don't think Nancy is Guess Whookie. Some of us have been conversant with Nancy pre-most recent banning.
Just sayin'...
Unless Whookie was already posing as Nancy, laying the groundwork for a seamless transition when the inevitable banning occurred.
Eh. Who cares.
Back to tits.
"Free Tits!"
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 5:17 PM
A wee bit confused, so clear this up, are we judging the trailers for the movie or the actual movie?
In retrospect, Batman is a pretty shitty, if not downright awful movie. It's a combination of things, chief among them the horrible, HORRIBLE, spleensplinteringly awful dialogue, and the way it is spoken. It's like the editor and director chose the absolute worst, most wooden takes for every actor except Nicholson, where they chose the take where he chewed the most scenery. Then there is the overall dark and utterly bleak tone of the film, even extending to Wayne Manor. I still cringe and turn away whenever I see the film and the scene at the art museum comes on.
Risky Business has aged quite well, it's just this websites visceral loathing of Tom Cruise fatally clouding your supposed objectivity yet again.
Posted by: Fappy McFapper at September 29, 2009 5:18 PM
Oh, mightygodking. Arthur hasn't aged well? Really?! I mean, sure, Liza Minelli's a little annoying, but Dudley Moore is still hysterical, and John Gielgud never spoke a word that was not worthy of preservation. And Geraldine Fitzgerald was awesome, too.
"Don't... screw... with me... Burt."
Posted by: Todd at September 29, 2009 5:20 PM
Mrcreosote- there ain't nothing wrong with boobs and Batman!
Posted by: Odnon at September 29, 2009 5:24 PM
I gotta take my tits off to work. Thanks guys, it's been fun!
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 5:26 PM
Wait, that doesn't sound right. I leave my tits on to work. I have to take my tits and go to work. Thats better.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 29, 2009 5:29 PM
Hey, I'm not complaining about the combination Odnon. I'm just waiting for the explosion when the inevitable Batgirl movie comes out.
Posted by: mrcreosote at September 29, 2009 5:38 PM
There WAS some grittiness in the original Fame. There was the bit where the teeny blond girl has an abortion and she's sitting there explaining to her fetus. And there was the bit dealing with how the kid from the tough neighborhood gets picked on for dancing and wearing leotards. It was practically gay bashing.
Posted by: king at September 29, 2009 5:45 PM
Disagree on The Untouchables. I still feel that movie works thanks to De Niro, Garcia and Connery. Yeah, it has that 80s stink of Kevin Costner but that was the 80s.
Posted by: Fredo at September 29, 2009 6:01 PM
Way to alienate your audience. Goonies, Dustin!?! For real? Have you actually watched it recently?
It has some of the best lines and jokes out there:
The Truffle Shuffle: Come on, do it!
You are in the clouds and we are in the basement.
Hey You Guuuyyyss!!!
I said put that gun away now!
Kids suck.
Baby! ruth!
And I pushed my sister down the stairs and blamed it on the dog! (crying with tears)
And the list goes on. I think this posting was made simply to post something not because it has something constructive to say besides to rip down people's favorite child/teen movies of the 80's and 90's.
Posted by: TVConnisseur at September 29, 2009 6:01 PM
Posted by: SackmementoCalifornia at September 29, 2009 3:36 PM
Don't worry too much, I'm not defending Dustin here. The original Batman was great, but I want to make sure Nolan's first installment is still appreciated. I also agree that Dustin is wrong about Goonies, Red Dawn, and War Games, they're still pretty entertaining.
However, in terms of cinematic misjudgement, this doesn't hold a candle to his anti-Pixar attitude as of late, be sure to save some of your vile for the next time he brings it up.
Posted by: George at September 29, 2009 6:02 PM
Lindsey:
S.C.H.M.E.E.B.S!
Superlatively Clever High Minded Eloquent Eloquence Boobs Society!
(Formerly The West Chestham Ladies Auxilliary Support Society.)
1. To keep abreast of current affairs.
2. To roundly support and nurture all manner of wildlife, including the Tit, the Booby, all hooters of the Owl family and of course, to foster an understanding of the Great Hoopoe of the Nether Forest Region.
3. To uphold the rights of the wrongly imprisoned and restrained.
4. To get maximum bounce to the ounce.
5. To fondly recall times of firmness, whilst never dismissing any fondling in the future.
6. To pair up like minded individuals.
7. To support our titular leader.
8. Tits.
Free the Tits!
Posted by: Odnon at September 29, 2009 6:29 PM
Hey, I'm not complaining about the combination Odnon. I'm just waiting for the explosion when the inevitable Batgirl movie comes out.
Posted by: mrcreosote at September 29, 2009 5:38 PM
I see where you are going.. Explosion indeed!
Posted by: Odnon at September 29, 2009 6:34 PM
Tim Burton's Batman has always been a POS.
Posted by: seth at September 29, 2009 6:40 PM
At first I was going to charge in here like my comrades before me and call you a series of sputtered expletives, Mr. PajibaDude. WarGames? Goonies? PURPLE FUCKING RAIN?
Then it hit me. The introwebs finally sucked away your last nugget of faith in humanity, and your entire worldview must have been tainted. By which I mean smacked with a big, hairy taint. It's okay Dustin. We've all been there. The cure is simple. You need a day in the ComfortBunker(tm) stocked with original Transformer cartoons, gallons of Nestle Quik, little tiny bagel pizzas and a cozy spot to curl up. Away from the tide of assholery, you'll rediscover that little piece of you that can still feel wonder. Nurture this valuable piece of your psyche in a world where there is no Michael Bay, Dustin, it's not too late.
***He bought it! Quick! Get the flaming pitchforks and get this heresy off the introwebs before he escapes! PURPLE FUCKING RAIN[/interrobang]***
Posted by: chamalla at September 29, 2009 6:49 PM
I don't know why people insist on fucking with the Goonies and Superman I or even II. They are timeless Gone With The Wind type classics. I am serious about this.
Posted by: Candy at September 29, 2009 7:49 PM
I have to join the chorus of "Fuck you, Dustin".
Goonies was the shit, is the shit and will continue to be the shit for as long as Baby Ruth is around.
Fuck you, fuck you to hell.
Also, Jack as the joker was the shit, is the shit......
Posted by: gkchum at September 29, 2009 9:58 PM
Awe, Working Girl will always have a soft spot in my heart. Some drunk middle aged hicks at a dive in Northern Alberta (so, just left of a Texan drunk hick) once told me that I looked like "young Melanie Griffith." It could have been a compliment, but I'm not sure.
Posted by: Agente Provocatrice at September 29, 2009 10:18 PM
I call bullshit on Three Amigos.
Do you have anything here besides Mexican food?
Posted by: CDub at September 29, 2009 11:50 PM
Skitz, can I come? I'll be quiet, and I'll hold him down while you beat him ferociously with Christopher Reeve's wheelchair. I'll bring bean dip.
Christopher Reeves IS Superman. No one else comes anywhere close.
Also I like Burton's Batman, I can show it to my little ones (6,7). Why do you hate the children Dustin? Don't you think that the children deserve Batman too?
Want to talk about 80's movies that haven't aged well... Where the hell is Crocodile Dundee? Or Rambo 3? Rambo is helping the goddamn Taliban in that movie!
Posted by: Mebe at September 30, 2009 1:08 AM
I still dig Three Amigos.
Love the original Batman, despite its many flaws. But who the hell cut that trailer? That was absolutely awful.
Posted by: Mick J at September 30, 2009 1:12 AM
Odnon. If you're still out there, I love you completely.
Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at September 30, 2009 2:00 AM
Dustin,
While I am in on the back of this one, I agree with your whole list.
I love WarGames, but it just does not fit anymore and the threats have just changed too much.
Batman, was fun, still a cool watch but Jack ranks #3 in playing the Joker and Kim is useless in this movie.
Working Girl, screw the change in the glass ceiling, Griffith is unrecognizable today versus herself in this picture and hell Baldwin is thin.
Superman II, still a decent watch it needs a true relaunch like the Batman series. Plus everytime I see Ms. Kidder I am think street person now.
Never watched the Goonies, so could care less.
May I add that Ghostbusters, while brilliant, is not aging well either.
Start a new list of movies that have aged well and I bet we see the same type of bitching.
Posted by: richmac at September 30, 2009 2:48 AM
wost. list. ever.
Posted by: dg at September 30, 2009 9:51 AM
I read this site every goddamn day, but never feltthe need to comment. Sure, I peruse through the comments, see what the Eloquents are saying, just never felt the need to chime in myself.
Until Now.
This has to be the absolute worst list I have ever seen about anything ever. Batman? Superman II? Fucking GOONIES?
I have watched all of those movies within the past two years, and they remain just as awesome (if not more awesome) than when they were released.
This list causes me physical pain.
-Patrick C
Posted by: Patrick C at September 30, 2009 10:07 AM
Some of these movies didn't hold up very well but I think Batman still works as a younger teen movie. Way more fun and comic book like than the new ones. I watched it with my daughter when she was still to young to go to see Batman Begins and we both enjoyed it - plus it had the added benefit of making her agree with me that Michael Keaton is the "real" batman, (and he doesn't have any annoying moles on his face, (by his eye)).
As for Wargames and the Big Chill (the adult version of The Breakfast Club), I still enjoy these movies but I think you had to be around to see them when they first came out. My kids think of these as lame/too slow paced for their taste. And I can relate because my husband and I just watched Ben-Hur for the first time and although the chariot scene is still amazing I was bored with the slow pace of the movie but if I'd been old enough to see it in theaters originally - I might have remembered it fondly, and felt it was "an essential", but mostly I just thought it was too slow and too long.
Maybe you should do a lists of so called "classics" that only are remembered for their title or a specific scene but are no longer really watchable.
Posted by: midfan at September 30, 2009 10:13 AM
Working Girl has aged badly?! Bollocks it has! What are you on about? I could wear ANY of Sigorney Weaver's outfits right now and I'd be bang on trend (as the ladymags always say). AND they may have a point about advertising on the radio.
Posted by: Dora at September 30, 2009 12:04 PM
Working Girl has aged badly?! Bollocks it has! What are you on about? I could wear ANY of Sigourney Weaver's outfits right now and I'd be bang on trend (as the ladymags always say). AND they may have a point about advertising on the radio.
Posted by: Dora at September 30, 2009 12:07 PM
my mother and will often times talk about movies that would be over in 5 minutes now due to cell phones - the movie that spurred this was romancing the stone...still hold up?
Just to casually chime in with all the others suggesting, in the politest possible way, that you're out of your gourd if you think the original Fame lacked grit. At the risk of getting repetitive: abortions and kiddie porn. The day some High School Musical wannabe covers that shit, we'll talk. Til then, lay off the classics, man!
Posted by: Shay at September 30, 2009 8:47 PM
I have never, ever understood what people liked about the Goonies. I agree with the fellow who commented earlier, saying that there's a difference between a good film and one that you liked as a kid. I first saw it in my teens, and I can't see a single appealing point about that god-awful film.
People, please. The only reason Goonies seems dated is because it showed kids going OUTSIDE and ACTIVELY ENGAGING EACH OTHER for fun, instead of bathing in EM waves using inane pseudo-shorthand to communicate with each other about their latest fat-loaded confection.
"If you loved them past the age of 20, then you need to get your head checked."
Ah, movie snobbery....
Posted by: John W at October 1, 2009 9:51 AM
The Goonies is awful, always was, and only gets worse with age. Speilberg is a hack. Get over it.
Posted by: UnkleSam at October 4, 2009 9:40 PM
OMG, I love the Goonies (possibly even more now than when I saw it as a teenager)! Some of the movies you listed I agree with, but not the Goonies. Sure, it's cheesy and contrived, but still great fun to watch (as a matter of fact, I watched it last weekend with my 6 year old).
Posted by: BrinaK at October 5, 2009 10:08 AM
The Goonies = multiple children speaking at the top of their lungs simultaneously like a Robert Altman movie FROM HELL. I'm rooting for the Fratellis.
Posted by: Craig at October 7, 2009 1:34 AM
I don't get this list at all. It's as if you were looking for something to write about but didn't have anything to say, so you came up with this.
Posted by: andyou at October 7, 2009 3:18 PM
"...I'm coming out of a self-imposed Pajiba Silence to clarify that Melanie Griffith doesn't just show her tits in "Working Girl." She vacuums naked!!!
Posted by: jimbob at September 29, 2009 4:13 PM"
She's wearing a bra and panties, ya pre-vert!
Ahh selective memory. What would the past be without it? ;)
Posted by: Oomgawa at October 13, 2009 3:05 AM
Who cares!!! My boyfriend also agrees with me. He is 10 years older than me, lol. We met online at age-gap club -- http://AgelessOnly.COM/. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.
"Is there a six-foot bat in Gotham City?"
Only if Keaton is rocking Tom Cruise-style lift boots.