Pajiba

I wish I could rock The Walken but alas due to reasons beyond my control I cannot.

Beiber looks like a girl (unlike Efron who, despite all the effeminate jokes I may dish out, is strikingly male). I thought Justin was a girl for quite some time despite the obviously masculine first name. Perhaps it's missing an "e" at the end, just like he might be missing a pe---oh alright! I'll leave the 16 year old alone!

For those of you who clicked on this post in the hopes that I would answer that interminable question, “Who is Justin Bieber?” I’m afraid I can’t help you.

Goddammit sonuvabitch.

That kid needs a haircut so bad it's ridiculous. We are in a civilized country, there are Hair Salons and Barbers everywhere, for pete's sake. You do not need to be using a flobee in 2010 (flowbe? floohbeh? floozy?) Just because your mother told you not to run with scissors doesn't mean they can't be applied to your grooming ritual.

And that picture of Zac Efron is terrifying. It looks like he's trying to sniff my soul out of the monitor with his nose. And there is so much fucking bronzer! We get it, dweeb, you have cheek bones, now put the kabuki brush down and give your pores a break.

I propose, in light of how terrifying the image of Z.Ef (ZaRon? ZacEfy? Bobby Trendy?), you should photoshop those hairstyles onto the heads of dogs. I honestly can't stand that kid staring at me like that.

It makes me feel like I must assimilate... By buying some L'Oreal.

You don't explain The Walken. You accept it then kneel and worship at it's follicousity! KNEEL!

He(?) looks like Miley Cyrus' gay twin. I feel an overwhelming urge to punch it in the face and I have no idea why. I must apologize for my ragey-ness. I have no idea who this girl(?) is. Thank mighty Godtopus.

MATT SMITH, HAIR OF AN IDIOT, SWOOOOOOON. (OK, this is actually making me relate to those afflicted with Bieber Fever except the object of my fever is, you know, TALENTED and TALL and can rock a bow tie. No offense, Biebs, but if you do those things maybe I'll swoon in all caps for you too).

The Pattinson is revolting.

I'm more concerned with Pattinson's neck beard. He could end up killing himself with a razor one fine hungover morning...

I'm a big fan of David Lynch's wavy grey quiff myself.

Wish I had the balls to rock that!

Inexplicable? The Sue Sylvester is easily explained: any woman who has ever had a super short and adorable haircut has had to suffer through the Sue Sylvester on the long road to "grown out." I tended to wrap my Sue Sylvester in a scarf or bandana whenever possible, but I'll tell you; it wasn't pretty.

But now I'm safe and sound in Ponytail Land!

The "Tom Hanks Da Vinci Code 'Do" gets my vote for creepiest hair style on an adult male.
The Walken ROCKS "The Walken". ROCKS IT, I say.
It is as much a part of his...style... as his...unusual delivery.

Beiber's hair looks like its trying to consume his head.

My biggest problem with Justin Beiber is his poor judgement. Yes, I acknowledge that he is actually fairly talented as far as prepubescent singers go. Yes, his music videos do feature age-appropriate, normally dressed, non-anorexic girls. Yes, his friendship with rap stars is inexplicably adorable. I should totally be a fan (Shut up. There's a difference between good music and music that you only like because you hear it at everywhere -- parties, formals, the dining halls, street corners).

Anyway, I cannot condone his existence as a pop sensation for one reason: his grammar. Take the song "One Less Lonely Girl." WHAT WERE THE WRITERS THINKING? It should clearly be, "One Fewer Lonely Girls." And in "Baby," Ludacris raps, "She woke me up daily, don't need no Starbucks." It's just shoddy sentence construction. Shame on him for allowing his songs to be working against education in this country. He's infected millions of teenagers with his ignorance.

Oh my god, bob. You are so spot-on. It kinda makes you want to slap him back the other way to reset the whole thing.

I teach high school so I see this kind of thing a lot. Personally I call it the hair pile and actually it's about a year out of style at my school. Two years ago they were all constantly twitching and flicking and arranging and I think they got tired of it, thank God.

I think Matt's hair is mostly a matter of "what the fuck do I do with this? What can I do with this?"

It obviously can't be combed "normally", there'd be no way of making the top and back agree, but with a bit of length it just makes it own natural mess. My hair is ridiculous so I can relate.

Justin Bieber's hair "flick" isn't to keep it out of his eyes. It's how he keeps it falling forward so that he continues to look like a teenage idiot.
And it's now become a tick. If you've ever seen him on TV you will witness him do it approximately once every 4 seconds. It makes my brain hurt.

The Bieber looks about 8 years old. Seriously. Is he taking some sort of pill to delay puberty?

Zac Efron looks like he's about half a second away from reaching through my monitor and cutting me.

@Barbadoslim.
Too true. He does look like the bastard love child of a 40 something year old lesbian couple.
Donating sperm doesn't seem like so much fun anymore does it!

The Pattinson = The Frankenstein monster that destroys souls.
(This could also be applied to the Bieber)

The Beiber "do" isn't a wig?! Who knew.
It sits there so jauntily perched.

coveredinbees: yes! And suspenders! He's absolutely adorable. Who cares about his hair?

The Walken is the old man's The Adam Curry (80's MTV VJ- Jersey perfect hair)

Miss Smith, age 9, is a staunch member of a very small group of girls at her school who say "Ewwwwwww" and call him Justin Boober. She has MIA, Santogold and LaRoux (she could have been on this list too) on her iTouch. I'm so proud of her good taste.

Smith, Jr., age 12, is trying to grow his hair longer for the summer, but I think he is trying for a Dr Who look, Smith or Tennant, but it could easily morph into a R Patz if he's not careful with his hair hygiene.

I can not tolerate those ridonkulous Bieber bangs on anyone!

Excuse me, I maaaay have to go watch Flesh and Stone again.

Seriously there where TWO haircuts on that list. The Walken and the Sylvester.

Everything else was a variation of the same thing

You could lust for Amy! That's allowed!

Mickey Rourke has some hair issues.

Posted by: Cindy at May 6, 2010 1:27 PM

That's a serious understatement...
And I 100% agree that Tom Hank's DaVinci Code is one of the creepiest things I've seen in a man's head.

Admin are you saying that RPatzz has taken over the position previously held by Marc Almond and his thirst for semen????

That kid in the photo (I assume the Bieber individual?) is what, about 8 years old? Yet, I've been seeing that hair "style" on the neighborhood kids for the past several years. So how come the influence is being attributed to him?

Oh I only like tall bastards cause I'm a tall bitch. And no way you look like two, with his wonky eeeensy bow ties.

America's next model thing are releasing a Mr Potato Head and Matt Smith is the prototype.
Here's the pic that inspired Rpatzz coiffe.
www.ariadneknits.com/.../05/bactrian-camel.jpg

@coveredinbees
Ohh the things we could talk about!

I actually brought up suspenders on the blog at work because I just finished watching an episode. I have gotten people on board! My shift on Friday: Suspenders Day! (I would wear the whole getup but I don't think it would fly with dress code, not to mention I can't really pull off a bow tie)

Ah, I wish I was the Doctor.

No one has mentioned Russell Brand?

Or, as I like to call him, Hurricane Head?

I actually brought up suspenders on the blog at work

I bought some suspenders for my tuxedo last year when I decided I'd be...Ten When He Wears His Tuxedo (luckily I was glad to rediscover that he wore it several times, and not just "Voyage Of The Damned") because, well, I had a tuxedo and a sonic screwdriver, I could make a costume out of this just by buying black (formal) Converse. They really help with a tuxedo. Formal shirts are real baggy and boxy and you just feel slovenly, so the suspenders helps you feel pulled together (literally even). I was pisssed to discover that my wing collar didn't match his flat collar, but I was not buying another shirt for a cheap ad-hoc costume!

Tying a bow tie is a maddening, maddening business, until you learn that it's a shoelace bow and that you must just let your fingers do it from memory without thinking about it.

Also, the Bieber picture is still scaring and angering me.

The Walken is an architectural masterpiece.

I see I am NOT the only one. Thank you Irving Washington.

Does anyone else wonder what the back of Bieber's hair looks like?

Still scared and angered. I want to kick him in the teeth and then take a big shuddering leap back, like I'd just had to swat a monster roach.

Bieber's hair is what happens if you give Cousin It a bowl-cut and a blow-dry.

I agree with Sofia, he looks like he took a dip in the Osmond gene pool. And I bet the reason he has that haircut is the same reason Donny used to have a similar cut - he's hiding an enormous fivehead under there!

The Walken is like a national treasure or something. Respect The Walken.

People always like celebrities, but I think those in uniform deserve more respect. They defend our country and safeguard our policy. Join M i l i t a r y f l i r t i n g.c o m, show your love and respect to our military heroes.

Dayum; I've had the Sylvester for years during high school. I would cut it myself because I had been growing out the Winona Ryder and was too cheap to afford real haircuts. I thought it looked fine. It didn't.

Eventually I left it alone long enough to grow into the Margot Tennenbaum, which was nice, and now it's just been the Kristen Stewart ever since. I'm mourning the loss of Ugly Girl Hair lately...

Justin Beiber is a wannabe Tegan and Sara. But that's okay, who doesn't want to be them? But he didn't have to go lesbian for them!