Pajiba

Someone from Chris Brown's PR company is emailing him this link right now.
Mark my words, set your calendar...

THANK YOU FOR THE SKARSGÅRD. My monday just improved exponentially. Although now I *do* have to change my underwear...

Yes. Thank you. I like this. Seeing a dude with a kitten or a puppy? Whatever, that would do nothing for me. I'll just look at a picture of a puppy by itself if I just want to see something kind of cute. Show me a dude looking like a provider/protector, a dude who looks like he can take care of his family, and that'll light up my lizard-cave woman brain for sure. Now there's a man to make a sex with.

Despite the fact that I am not a baby person, I am currently knocked up (they're only babies for a little while, right?) and this totally just made my morning. I do have to agree with the puppies folks though. There is nothing hotter than a man with a big dog or a puppy.

Oh, dear no. They remain squalling balls of protoplasm that randomly spew ick for ages and ages. Um, I mean it's almost instant. It gets better right away. You'll barely notice.

Don't read any further ...

Oh, god the little proto-humans endlessly stuck in the uncanny valley, as creepy as animated clowns. It's years and years, and they even learn things that sound like words but it's primate-parrots squalling familiar sounds, while they stumble with their giant heads like Mr. Stay Puft.

You can't even take care of them right. It's even considered bad form to keep them in aquariums until they stop leaving trails of goo and destruction everywhere they go. I know this. It'll get you visits from people with clipboards, utterly indifferent to the obvious logic - How can they tell they're in a glass box? Besides, how else to you hose them off to clean them? The Squid's smiling and laughing. What's the problem? They have little enough joy, you know, without lighting the cat on fire. THEY CAN'T DO WORDS AND THEY STILL LIGHT THE CAT ON FIRE, WHAT THE HELL?

Hosing them off in their decon chamber seems like win-win, and I already have spray soap and a squeegee. But, noooooooooooo. Apparently this is frowned upon. (They let me keep the squeegee if I promised to stay away from babies.)

My sister conveniently acquired The Nephews(r) around the earliest tolerable age - 8 & 10 respectively. You know, able to follow simple instructions, entertain themselves for short periods without immediately dying of everything & refrain from chewing on the furniture. Not that they will follow instructions. That's OK. Defiance I understand. I work in Software. The Nephews showed up when The Brother In Law came preconfigured vs. acquisition through human trafficking. Is it wrong that this disappoints me?

The Goddaughter was so terrifying upon her arrival, what with the lack of bones plus Magical Charisma Brain-Sucking Power, that I fled across the country until she reached the same threshold.

Babies - the only thing worse than tweener girls.

/Shudder

Also - I have a wolf/dog hybrid. Can't I just let her raise the child until it's school age? Or is that akin to the whole aquarium thing? I'm in Canada, so I'm not sure anyone would notice.

Worked with Nana in Peter Pan. God, I love that dog.

Maybe it'll work. My sister's malamute handled everything with a sort of benevolent ferocity. "You'll be cared for exactly how I please, and you'll like it!"

They never even have to raise their voice. Maybe it's the teeth?

My brain is no longer capable of computing that this will be anything other than unicorns shitting rainbows. I know it's going to be awful sleep deprived torture, but all I can read is "it's almost instant. It gets better right away. You'll barely notice."

[The tiny, rational part of my brain just dropped its microphone, and left. I'm not sure when it'll be back.]

Oh, they emit some kind of brain-controlling pheramones or virus - just like cats. http://www.theatlantic.com/mag...

Once you've been exposed for a while, blowing bubbles with strained peas will seem *adorable*.

In about 18 to 19 years. Hopefully... But at least you will have someone to take care of you when you are old.

TEAM PUPPIES/KITTENS!
Babies projectile vomit and smell like spoiled milk.

Do you hear what I hear?
A baby cry
Where we finding baby,
there be milk nearby

I get so confused over the need people have to procreate. I mean sure... babies are cute and stuff, I enjoy handing them back to their parents.

Puppies would be cuter. THERE I SAID IT AND IM NOT SORRY.

Seeing babies with men has the same effect on me a seeing babies with women. None.

Now hang some kittens and/or puppies from them....

Add this to the list of things that make me a terrible person, but the babies in this photo are like little turn off machines for me. You just know that thing is going to start crying in the other room riiiiight when you're on the edge of climax.

So apparently babies are useful for other things besides throwing.

You have been missed. Pookie was getting boring lately.

Are you coming on to me?

Yep, it's hard to get a good man these days. And I hear you're great with kids.

Needed more Tom Hardy with his son.

What is that thing Cam is using to cradle his baby?

Caption for the Skargard: "Okay one more and then I'm cutting you off."

Just looks like a type of k'tan wrap.

At first I was like "cute...ok...cute..." but by the tenth I was feeling vaguely unsettled. Not sure why. I might just not like babies.

Same here, I think kids hit their cuteness stride when they're around 2-4, but babies? Eh, they're like screaming tomatoes that I need to stand far away from, like on the other side of the room-omggetitawayfromme.

These are *almost* as good as that video of Tom Hardy rapping with his baby that y'all posted the other day...

What! No Tom Hardy? After rapping with his baby I thought he'd be on here for sure.