Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out: 9 TV Characters We Do Not Miss
In case you somehow missed it because, I don’t know, you were vacationing in Boca Raton or had the measles or something, Chevy Chase and “Community” creator Dan Harmon recently decided to air their mutual grievances. Or, rather, it was aired for them. You can read the back and forth here or pretty much anywhere else on these here internets. The bottom line, apparently, is that Chevy may not be returning next season on “Community.” To which I say…”so what?” Chase’s character Pierce Hawthorne has long outlived his usefulness as chief antagonist. The study group tears themselves apart quite nicely at this point. And while there were moments of comedy gold during his three year tenure on the show (chiefly, this one), I can’t say the show will suffer any with his absence. And should he leave (as he did years ago after the first season of “Saturday Night Live”) he will join the ranks of these 9 TV Characters We Do Not Miss. Be warned, some of these characters left because they shuffled off the old mortal coil. So, spoilers, sweeties.
Michael Dawson —“Lost”: Remember that last time you had to hear “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT?” Ah sweet release. Many characters would come and go on this show (largely due to the Hawaii Five-Oh), but Michael’s early departure and later demise was a personal favorite.
Mandy Hampton—“West Wing”: Despite creator Aaron Sorkin’s talent for writing cool, strong female characters, this particular character did not last long in the Bartlett White House. No one cried when Moira Kelly, everyone’s favorite sex kitten, packed up her skates and left. When Sorkin tried again with a similar character (a whip smart opinionated women from outside the administration), he hit home with Mary Louise Parker as Amy Gardner. The show did take a hit, in my opinion, when Rob Lowe’s Sam Seaborn left after season four, but that likely had more to do with Sorkin leaving at the same time.
Julie Emrick—“Felicity”: Listen, the Pink Ranger was cloyingly obnoxious as Felicity’s friend and romantic rival, Julie (she of the crop tops and acoustic guitars). But, more importantly, when she left there was more room for Megan (she of the see-through shirts and casual witchcraft). Without Megan, there would not have been that absolute bananas plot line in the last season where Felicity time-traveled. Yeah, that’s right folks, there was time-travel in that last season of “Felicity.” What, you thought J.J. Abrams wrote a straight-forward teenaged soap?
Mark Brendanawicz—“Parks and Recreation”: Oh, Brendanaquitz, the only character thus far who has been able to out-bore Anne Perkins. His completely welcome departure lead the way for Ben Wyatt. And I think you know how I feel about that.
Riley Finn—“Buffy The Vampire Slayer”: OH DON’T LET THE TOP SECRET REALLY BORING MILITARY HELICOPTER DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.
Tristan DuGrey—“The Gilmore Girls”: Chad Michael Murray and all his hair products left early on in Season Two of “The Gilmore Girls.” And while we later learned that Rory had not yet begun to douche (that is to say, date douches), his squinty smarm was no great loss to Stars Hollow and the hallowed halls of Chilton.
Viserys Targaryen—“A Game Of Thrones”: I have not, in all my life, cheered a death as loudly as I cheered this one. The actor Harry Lloyd is fantastic (and one of my all-time favorite “Doctor Who” villains), but I really only have enough loathing in my heart for one little sh*t, and Joffrey’s crown is less drippy.
Izzy “Isobel” Stevens—“Grey’s Anatomy”: Yes, I watch/watched this show. Let’s get over it. I had nothing against this character in her earlier seasons, but as the show progressed and Heigl continued to piss off the writers with her injudicious comments, they took it out on her. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of some good old fashioned schadenfreude (see the morbid glee above), but after the writers made Izzy engage in sweaty ghost sex (SWEATY GHOST SEX) for a season and then gave her a brain tumor and then gave her an unflattering brain tumor wig. Well. It was time to go.
Tara Thornton—“True Blood”: Okay, sure, it’s not over until it’s over. This is a show about vampires and all. But I hope to god that Tara stays down. You hear me, Alan Ball, do not plague us with a vampire version of Tara.
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