Assiduously Assessing The Best Asses In Hollywood

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | July 26, 2011 | Comments ()

So, first the news. According to Deadline, Odette Annable née Yustman, unofficial Pajiba Ass-cot (no not the neckwear) has been hired as the new female lead on “House.” Apparently they needed to fill that coveted “gratuitous ass shot” role recently vacated by series regular Lisa Edelstein. Seriously, someone on that show is an ass man.

The Deadline article goes on to point out that with the departure of Edelstein, Olivia Wilde and the awkwardly costumed Amber Tamblyn, ~~Yustman~~ Annable will be the only piece of lady tail stalking the corridors of Princeton‑Plainsboro. I don’t really watch House regularly anymore, and I don’t mean that in a snarky sense, I absolutely see why someone would, but I have to say, I think they’re trading down. For all the brouhaha made over ~~Yustman’s~~ Annable’s bum, I find it rather uninspiring. First of all, that famed Unborn poster is so heavily photoshopped, they could have started with Cloris Leachman’s behind and we wouldn’t know the difference. This is what Odette’s backside looks like without the benefit of airbrushing.

It’s just sort of…there, right? Well, I think we can do better, Pajiba. I say we nominate a new Ass-cot (I’m not in love with that word either, readers). Here are a few nominees I’ve rounded up (emphasis on the rou-sorry). I tried not to replicate anyone from Dustin’s fantastic Movie Poster Booty List. There are a few folks (mostly menfolk) who would have made the list if I could have found a good likeness of their rears. So if anyone locates the ass of Djimon Honsou, Isiah Mustafah, or Chris Hemsworth, could you send it my way? To the gentle reader who accused me of “falsely ogling chicks for male attention” I say, poppycock, balderdash and shenanigans. Everyone knows I’m an equal opportunity ogler. Also? My ogles are real and they’re spectacular. One final hem and haw before we get to the goods. HERE BE BARE ASS. You’ve been warned.

Rihanna

John Barrowman

Anne Hathaway (The Internet swears this is her, but I’m not 100% convinced. I did, however, see a LOT of her posterior during the deathly dull Love And Other Drugs, and it’s amaaaaahzing.)