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A Case Study In Hotness: Exploding Ovary Edition

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (64)



kyle-chandler.jpg

We here at the Pajiba Hotness Lab are running an informal study on the combustibility of ovaries* and the effect that explosion has on the libido. So what we have here today is not our usual experiment, but, rather, a series of images. It’s a sort of…Sexy Rorschach. (Dibs on that Halloween costume.) We’ve rounded up a series of familiar faces, each face presented in two stages. So please record your reactions to the following images in the comments below. Be as clear as possible about which Exhibit you prefer from each Subject. And remember, this is for posterity, so, be honest. How do you feel?

Subject: Rick Castle
Exhibit A
castle_2.20_005.jpg

Exhibit B
nathan_fillion_as_rick_castle_in_black_and_white.jpg

Subject: Jim Halpert
Exhibit A
tumblr_lb4keh8HAM1qbgdqpo1_500.jpg

Exhibit B
John_Krasinski_Color_by_PinkLemonDesigns.jpg

Subject: Dexter Morgan
Exhibit A
2779_3.jpg

Exhibit B
dex.jpg

Subject: Don Draper
Exhibit A
don-and-sally.jpg

Exhibit B
madmen.jpeg

Subject: Eddard Stark
Exhibit A
tumblr_lkz8p867Oi1qgeq3co1_500.png.jpeg

Exhibit B
ned.jpg

Subject: Sheriff Rick Grimes
Exhibit A
65460989-17065209.jpg

Exhibit B
TheWalkingDead-S2Ep1-WhatLiesAhead-AndrewLincolnAsRickGrimes.jpg

Subject: Coach Eric Taylor
Exhibit A
39048241-39048244-large.jpg

Exhibit B
Kyle-Chandler-kyle-chandler-6488122-1916-2560.jpg

Subject: Jackson Teller
Exhibit A
JaxAndAbel.jpg

Exhibit Be Right Back…Holy Hell
tumblr_ll05hxnBmM1qzksmlo1_500.jpg

*This does not preclude the men from participating. Dudes have ovaries too. Just not, like, literal ones.









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Comments

Medic!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 21, 2011 1:05 PM

THUD.

Posted by: Jules at October 21, 2011 1:13 PM

What about video, JoRo? WHAT ABOUT VIDEO?

Coach and Baby Gracie:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPNi09hcKvA

Posted by: Internet Magpie at October 21, 2011 1:14 PM

Why no Olyphant or JGL? I thought those were the staples that keep the ladies coming back.

Posted by: JPG at October 21, 2011 1:15 PM

Fuck!

Please

Posted by: Cuca at October 21, 2011 1:17 PM

Is Dexter preparing to catch the exploded ovaries with his rubber gloves?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 21, 2011 1:18 PM

Yes, where is my Raylan Givens? That's really dropping the ball man!

Posted by: Laura at October 21, 2011 1:20 PM

Also, I do love the Princess Bride reference!

Posted by: Laura at October 21, 2011 1:21 PM

Help! Help! I'm being oppressed (in my pants)!

Posted by: Pants at October 21, 2011 1:22 PM

YES. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.

Posted by: Aislinn at October 21, 2011 1:28 PM

Whilst I don't particularly find any of these especially hot, to be honest, I do prefer the B exhibits for all entries. Should I actually have any desires for these men, I would prefer that their attention be completely lavished on me and not any needy, whiny, crying, dirty, drooly spawn.

CFBC for life!!

Posted by: Sbrown at October 21, 2011 1:30 PM

Just...STOP IT JOANNA. STOP IT! I'm at work and I just ate spicy drunken noodles which make me crazy and now I want to jump on the first male specimen I see and there are a LOT of shady looking people in Philly.

Posted by: Julie at October 21, 2011 1:31 PM

Oh! I can't breathe....

Exhibit B, exhibit B, exhibit B all the way down to the throbbing in my pants....

Someone help me.

Posted by: JennV at October 21, 2011 1:32 PM

There aren't words....just not enough words.....just thank you. Thank you very very much.

Posted by: Austin at October 21, 2011 1:32 PM

Must not be my demographic because only Jim Halpert B raises any interest.

Posted by: anikitty at October 21, 2011 1:40 PM

While I understand that most of these guys are objectively incredibly handsome, only Andrew Lincoln and Charlie Hunnam do anything for me personally, and Hunnam only when he is clean-shaven.

But the real reason I'm commenting is to point out that the first picture of Don Draper looks really molesty to me and creeps me out.

Posted by: PaddyDog at October 21, 2011 1:40 PM

I was halfway through this before I realized the theme and stopped muttering "Get that distracting child out of that picture" for each Exhibit A.

Posted by: Rebecca at October 21, 2011 1:43 PM

While I admit to throwing major wood, I feel I must ask:

What, no Peter Burke? Do ovaries no longer respond to the epic wonder that is Tim DeKay?

Posted by: Jerry at October 21, 2011 1:43 PM

My phantom adoptive-pet ovaries might have exploded if you had included a third set of photos with puppies. Otherwise, I was resistant to all the attempts at emotional manipulation, with the possible exception of a twinge of sadness at seeing Eddard with Arya. Of course, the lust counteraction of the second photos was not applicable.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at October 21, 2011 1:44 PM

I was largely indifferent until Jax showed up. Good Godtopus!

Posted by: Muttley Crew at October 21, 2011 1:51 PM

So glad to drag my sad self away from the Godwins Law thread...

Ahem:

Jim Halpert. My daughter has a huge crush which is COOl bcz I want her to use him as the standard by which she should compare all potential suitors. LOVE Jim and all his Afghanistananies.

Don Draper does Jack Sh!t for me exactly. but I thought he was adorable in Kissing Jessica Stein. DARLING in the little round glasses.

And that Jackson guy at the end already exploded my ovaries as the best Nicholas Nickleby ever.

Posted by: klingonfree at October 21, 2011 1:51 PM

Castle - A) gives me warm fuzzies. B) makes me tingle in my girl parts.

Halpert - A) does nothing for me. B) makes me want to discuss the NYT Review of Books over coffee and scones on a Sunday morning.

Dexter - A) Thanks for doing that, honey. There'll be a little extra something in it for you tonight. B) One mask away from a baseball player. Baseball bores me.

Draper - A) Aw, look! You can be a nice guy. B) Lawyer? Banker? Ad Exec? All boils down to asshole. (and I don't even watch the show, I just worked for that sort once upon a time.)

Stark - A) Please give me the opportunity to make more awesome babies with you. B) Put your fucking toys away and help me get this place fixed up. (Why yes, I really did marry a sword-carrying man, why do you ask?)

Grimes - A) What the hell is on the front of the truck? B) Take me. To the the range. Yeah, that's it.

Taylor - A) Your wife is hot. You don't need me. B) I've seen your hot wife, so while you are all that and a box of chocolates, I must politely withdraw.

Teller - A) So cute! B) I... it's just... buh.

Posted by: Reba at October 21, 2011 1:52 PM

All Exhibit Bs. This is Mr. Atlantan and I don't have kids. Kids get in the way of the hotness.

Posted by: An Atlantan at October 21, 2011 1:55 PM

And what happened then,
Well in Pajibaville the say,
That the ladies' ovaries grew THREE sizes that day. (*SPROING!)

And then,

The true meaning of ovulation came through,
and the ladies bits all released,
ten ova...PLUS TWO!

Ladies...you know where to find us. We'll be waiting.

Posted by: bleujayone at October 21, 2011 2:06 PM

If Charlie Hunnam, in his current state of hotness (see exhibit B) could make out with some dudes again, that would be extremely appreciated.

Posted by: Vanessa at October 21, 2011 2:14 PM

A psychopath?

Posted by: Jay at October 21, 2011 2:16 PM

Dammit, I was gonna use these ovaries for baby making.

Posted by: Zirze at October 21, 2011 2:20 PM

Ew, what the fk is with all the kids? They're killing the ladyboner. You know what else kills the ladyboner? Nappies. Kids wearing nappies. Kids wearing nappies and taking up all the time when there could be dirty uninhibited shagging happening. Ew, kids.

Posted by: Laurie at October 21, 2011 2:27 PM

Okay, I'll make everyone uncomfortable and say it....

Yo, where ma black and latino men at?! This freckle-faced Irish slut loves her some dark guys. You couldn't even find some stubble? Swarthiness Greek or Italian style? NOTHING?!

(Gob voice) AWW C'MON!!!

Posted by: scorzi at October 21, 2011 2:32 PM

B for all of them. Especially Coach. God DAMN that man is handsome.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at October 21, 2011 2:36 PM

Mr. Julien looks a little Kyle Chandler, a little like Ron Livingston, and every once and a while he gets told he looks like Simon Cowell (which is just cruel).

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 21, 2011 2:47 PM

Oh, OH! And he's GROWING A BEARD as part of his Halloween costume. RAWR! I think my husband is ever so dreamy.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 21, 2011 2:48 PM

I...I....

I could NOT agree more with the omission of Raylan Givens. Use a picture of him with that little girl...you know, I forget her name. Or of him and his brother's kid from Deadwood.

JUST ADD THE OLYPHANT, DAMMIT!!!!

Posted by: dammitjanet at October 21, 2011 2:49 PM

Mrs. Julien, how could you be holding out on us like that?! Ron Livingston is ALSO hot. You're lucky.

Posted by: Internet Magpie at October 21, 2011 2:58 PM

Mostly Bs, I'm sad to admit, although the Charlie Hunnam with the baby is AH-dorable.

I'm old, my ovaries are mostly dead, and I prefer puppies to children. What can I say?

Posted by: MM at October 21, 2011 2:59 PM

Charlie Hunnam is that last guy? I thought Hunnam was the name of one of the It's Always Sunny homunculi.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at October 21, 2011 3:07 PM

ALL B's PLEASE.

Children are a buzz kill. I have them, I should know. No matter how hot the guy, you throw a kid in the pic and all I can think about is how having dirty monkey sex with said guy can lead to a similar child. There is nothing hot or adorable about that.

And I would beg Jackson Teller for anal.

Posted by: the other Courtney at October 21, 2011 3:09 PM

I was soooooooo hoping for a picture of Eric Northman. Now I'm going to have to google images of him for the next hour...

Oh, and I second the ew, kids. I love 'em in real life, they *don't* belong in fantasies.

Posted by: Natalie at October 21, 2011 3:20 PM

I love all of these men.... But the kid in Friday Night Lights is hideous! I have a kid who is cute now, but wasn't always cute, so I don't feel bad about saying it. I LOVE JIM HALPERT!!!

Posted by: jessididla at October 21, 2011 3:22 PM

I'm with you Sbrown, these guys do nothing for me. My ovaries require a different type of man I guess.

Posted by: Dingle Berry at October 21, 2011 3:31 PM

EXHIBIT B - All the way round and bent over, again and again and again.

Posted by: layla at October 21, 2011 3:31 PM

Forget exploding ovaries... all those B's hit the G-spot.

Posted by: buell at October 21, 2011 3:38 PM

My ovaries shriveled up and died years ago but the rest of my ladybits are working fine and are all about those Bs!

Posted by: MG at October 21, 2011 3:49 PM

1. D'awww.
2. Helloooo.
3. No.
4. Nice eyes.
5. Creepy.
6. Still creepy.
7. CREEPY.
8. Sneer-y.
9. Sean Bean is looking old.
10. For realz. I miss Boromir.
11. Enh?
12. Oh, that guy's cute. What have I seen him in before?
13. Am I supposed to be looking at the dude, here?
14. I always want him to be ... Peter Livingston? And he's not. Was he on "Early Edition" a zillion years ago?
15. Huh?
16. No, seriously. Huh??

Posted by: Samantha at October 21, 2011 4:18 PM

Ron. Ron Livingston. And seriously, who's the sheriff guy?

Posted by: Samantha at October 21, 2011 4:21 PM

Ohhh. Love Actually guy. Check.

Posted by: Samantha at October 21, 2011 4:23 PM

Este en realidad es un post muy interesante. Voy a establecer mi oficina de propiedad raiz y por esto quiero conocer lo mas que pueda acerca del negocio y tambien acerca software y negocios. Su analisises de mucha ayuda. Adicionalmente, tambien consigotiempo para la diversion. Otra vez gracias =)

Posted by: la guia clasificados bogota colombia at October 21, 2011 4:52 PM

All B's please.

The A photos look like they smell of dirty diapers.

Children are a buzzkill.
Now puppies, on the other hand . . .

Posted by: BWeaves at October 21, 2011 5:02 PM

Well I do prefer the Ned Stark with his head on...

Now for the lads, ladies we want to bare our offspring...

Posted by: John W at October 21, 2011 5:22 PM

...bear our offspring...

220/221 whatever it takes....

Posted by: John W at October 21, 2011 5:24 PM

I had never heard of Jackson Teller before. In the first picture, I was all "Ew, nasty beard, stringy hair, EW." Then came the second picture, where he doesn't have a head. SHUT UP, HE DOESN'T.

Posted by: Craig at October 21, 2011 6:55 PM

Ugh babies- all B's for sure. I don't mind the Walking Dead A picture because he looks a little scruffed up NOT because of the presence of a annoying small human.

Posted by: SAS at October 21, 2011 8:42 PM

Este realmente es un post bastante interesante. Tengo la idea de comenzar mi propio oficina de propiedad raiz y por esto trato averiguar lo maximo acerca del negocio y adicionalmente sobre software y economia. Su analisises muy importante. Adicionalmente, tambien buscotiempo para cosas distintas. Nuevamente muchisimas gracias =)

Posted by: metro cuadrado bogota venta apartamentos at October 21, 2011 9:55 PM

Este en realidad es un articulo muy facinante. Quiero establecer mi empresa de comercio de vivienda y por esta razon me gusta conocer lo maximo sobre el asunto y adicionalmente acerca software y economia. Su articuloes muy importante. Y bueno, tambien buscotiempo para divertirme. De nuevo gracias =)

Posted by: inmobiliarias bogota casas at October 22, 2011 3:51 AM

All the B's....and sweet Jeebus why have I not realised what I was missing when it came to Sons of Anarchy? Thanks to that photo I will be watching the entire back catalogue as soon as I can get my sweaty little mitts on it.

Posted by: Bumwee McGee at October 22, 2011 6:34 AM

Now for the lads, ladies we want to [bear] our offspring...

Please, God, NO. The last thing I want to think about when looking at a hot chick (or any chick, really) is that she might get pregnant and bring yet another little abomination into the world.

Posted by: Todd at October 22, 2011 10:12 AM

God, you breeders are lame. You think because you can crap out a rug-goblin you're somehow entitled to the keys to the kingdom and the world should bow to your whims. On the behalf of those of us who can't enjoy a meal in peace at a restaurant without your crotch-spawn screaming their damn fool head off, I say, DROP DEAD.

Posted by: Mr. Stitch at October 22, 2011 10:19 PM

Um...someone needs anger management counseling pronto. Or perhaps a more appropriate forum?

The Fillion looks to be putting on weight. Now I like my men on the chunkier side, but when I've caught him on Castle I've been surprised at how the weight seems to be settling on his hips and giving him a womanly figure. Nathan, I say this out of love--please put a halt to this. I can't fantasize about someone who has the figure of my mom.

Posted by: DeadBessie at October 23, 2011 2:20 AM

B!

Help...

Posted by: Sarah J-Town at October 23, 2011 8:28 AM

Bs to the bitter end. Which says more abut me than about the eyecandy.

Posted by: cinekat at October 23, 2011 12:09 PM

DeadBessie: I noticed the other day that Castle has some serious moobs. He's clearly grown since last season and they're dressing him in more black and shooting him differently. I still think he's hot but if this trend continues it might only be out of loyalty.

Also, I really like that this list is almost exclusively manly looking men. The older I get the less I'm interested in hairless androgynous youth.

Posted by: king at October 24, 2011 9:45 AM

Rick Castle: Exhibit B is hotter.
Jim Halpert: Exhibit A. It more accurately captures his public persona.
Dexter Morgan: Shows him as he really as- dangerous.
Don Draper: B. Because A is just phony.
Eddard Stark: B. While he may be wise and love his daughter, he's first and foremost a man always ready to use his sword.
Sheriff Grimes: A. Because he's not that attractive.
Coach Taylor: A, because he is harried and hassled.
Jackson Teller: The guy may be hot, but he's also a cold blooded killer. B.

Posted by: Rodney at October 26, 2011 6:09 PM

WOW! I am very impressed on this blog site. Please keep up the good work!

Posted by: Legal Team at November 25, 2011 8:06 PM

This sort of a practice of restricting reporter images and video clips, using the explanation provided by the White Residence, seems to be no huge deal. But when taken with each other with other many run-ins with the press that have characterised this Administration, citizens have each right to be cautious.

Posted by: As well as at December 18, 2011 11:16 AM