would that it were so simple.jpg

21 Best Movie Lines of the 21st Century

By Rebecca Pahle | Seriously Random Lists | February 9, 2016 |


would that it were so simple.jpg

The 21st century hasn’t been around for all that long (shhhh, don’t disillusion me. The ’90s ended, like, five years ago), but already it’s racked up an impressive collection of A+ movie lines. Sometimes they’re so great because of the writing, other times because of the delivery; normally, it’s a combination. These lean heavily toward comedy, because that’s how I roll; feel free to leave your own additions in the comments, but know that anyone who quotes anything from Love, Actually will be immediately and irreversibly banned. These are in no particular order, but we do start with the most recent entry, from the Coen Brothers’ Hail, Caesar!.

1) “WouldthatiTWERE so simple.” - Alden Ehrenreich, Hail, Caesar!. (Seriously, the movie is worth the price of admission just for this scene alone.)


2) “I CREATE LIFE!1!!!11!!… and I destroy it..” - Eddie Redmayne, Jupiter Ascending. I’m sorry, did I say “best”? I mean “most batguano bonkers.”


3) “Dammit! Why’d you make me do that to you, Victor? I have res-pon-si-bi-li-ties! Jesus Christ himself has blessed me with many gifts. One of them is knocking someone the fuck out!… Pepe, you OK?” - Dwayne Johnson, Pain & Gain


4) “Survive!” - Robert Downey Jr., Tropic Thunder


5) “I’ve jumped from a high rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing. And I still had to pretend I WAS IN A FUCKING CIRQUE DE SOLEIL SHOW.”—Jason Statham, Spy

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6) “Y-you breathe fire? Oh, okay.” - Don Cheadle, Iron Man 3.


7) “Oh shit! OH SHIT! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAASHIT! NO. That is not happening right now! NO… Schmidt fucked the captain’s daugh-ter! Schmidt fucked the captain’s daugh-ter!”-Channing Tatum, 22 Jump Street


8) “You’re an inanimate fucking object!” - Ralph Fiennes, In Bruges.


9) “Why so serious?” - Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight


10) “Myyyy precioussssss.” - Andy Serkis, The Lord of the Rings. Alternatively:


11) “Maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh…. “-Chris Cooper, The Muppets


12) “Get bent, TAX MAAAAAN.” - Maggie Gyllenhaal, Stranger Than Fiction


13) “She doesn’t even go here!”—Daniel Franzese, Mean Girls


14) “Remember me?” - Charlize Theron, Mad Max: Fury Road


15) “Sometimes I find that if I count to ten…. one… two… three…. four… or silently …………….” - Fred Melamed, A Serious Man


16) “DRAAAAAAAINAGE, DRAAAAAAAINNNNNNAGGGEEEEE, Eli. I drained your land. I’m so sorry. If you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake. And I have a straw, there it is, that’s the straw, you sew. My straw reaches acroooosss the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I. DRINK. YOUR. MILKSHAKE. PPPBBBBHHHHT. I drink it up!”- Daniel Day Lewis, There Will Be Blood


17) “I’m saying that when the President does it, that means it’s not illegal.” - Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon


18) “Well, honey. I’m a little bi-FURIOUS.” - Mae Whitman, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World


19) “I know that babies taste best.” - Chris Evans, Snowpiercer


20) “The greater good.” - Everyone, Hot Fuzz

And finally:


21) “You are tearing me apart, Lisa!” - Tommy Wiseau, The Room. Naturally.



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