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18 Reasons Why You Will Love The Stuffing Out Of Steven Soderbergh's "Behind The Candelabra"

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | May 28, 2013 | Comments ()


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If you didn't catch Steven Soderbergh's FANTASTICALLY gay "Behind The Candelabra" this weekend, you missed something amazing. Do yourself a favor and seek it out. You won't be disappointed. I'm not sure you can give spoiler warnings on vague allusions to a true story, but if you're worried about having something "ruined" for you, you might want to duck out. Also, if you want something more substantive on the film, please read this fantastic review by our man in Cannes, Caspar Salmon. Otherwise? Enjoy the sequins and the 18 reasons why you'll love this glittering bit of madness.

Because Of The Cast And Crew's Dedication To And Attitude About This Amazing Project
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For The Part Where Scotty Doesn't Know
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For The Part Where He Does
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For Reminding Us About The Word Krugerrand
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Because Lucille Bluth WISHES She Looked This Fierce When Smoking
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Because Of Carlucci's Pigs In A Blanket
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Because Scott Thorson Is Supposed To Be 23 Here. Twenty. Three.
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Because...Oh Boy
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Because Of Scott's Face Before Plastic Surgery
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Because Of Scott's Face After Plastic Surgery
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Because They Stuffed Pillows Under Their Shirts To Signify A Fat Phase
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Because Of Gay Icon Debbie Reynolds
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Because Of The Yards And Yards Of Spangly Fabric
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Because Of The Teeny Tiny Scraps Of Spangly Fabric
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For The Parts Of Rob Lowe's Head That Moved
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For The Parts That Didn't
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Because Of The WHOLE Adoption Clusterf*ck
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Because After He Died, Liberace FLEW AROUND AND SANG SHOWTUNES. THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENED ON YOUR TELEVISION
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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • princessdi81

    That movie was hilariously delightful! Michael Douglas nailed his role. The funniest line: "I look like my father in Hush, Hush Sweet Charlotte!"

  • SottoVoce

    Now I want Lifetime to make a Terri Hatcher bio staring Rob Lowe because he is real & spectacular.

  • e jerry powell

    Teri Hatcher looks too much like the Joker. Rob would need a serious prosthetic face, and then he'd have to go DEEEEEEP into character.

    But hey, he could pull a double and play both Teri and Jon Tenney!

  • DeistBrawler

    Holy fuck. I thought in the trailers that it was Al Pacino playing Liberace.

  • e jerry powell

    No, that's everything else on HBO. Al had already done Phil Spector duty for the year, and he'd already done the self-loathing gay thing a few years back in Angels in America. Some other aging scenery-chewer needed a turn.

  • AvaLehra

    I love the attention to detail in the clothing -- particularly Matt Damon's spectacular thongy buttockular tan lines. PALE NACHAS!

  • Brooke the Replicant

    GOD that was amazing, wasn;t it??

  • Chicken Lips

    Liberace was FABULOUS!!!! before any of us knew what FABULOUS!!!! was. And good for him
    I don't know if I was supposed to, but I giggled every time Rob Lowe was on my screen - loved it! When I win the lottery and have money to burn, I'm going to hire him to come to my house in that getup and have dinner. Hell, I may even default on some loans and credit cards to save up enough to get him to do this without the lottery because it is just that good.

  • e jerry powell

    I looked at pictures of the actual doctor, and it wasn't very far off at all.

  • mclb

    One drunken night in Vegas we found ourselves in a Liberace concert (it was during this time period). Not a show that I would have chosen but....... I fell in love with him - what a performer !!! and I had the feeling that he wanted everyone in the place to love him and like him and have a terrific time. He was wonderful and I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Liberace!!!!

  • e jerry powell

    And he wanted more than a few of them to have hotsweatynakedtime with him, but that was for after the show, obviously.

  • Bodhi

    I haven't seen it yet, but the Fug Girls "Fab the Plumage (and Fromage) is itself a thing of beauty. http://gofugyourself.com/fab-t...

    I live with the ILs & will have to wait for a night when they are gone to watch this. And oh how I want to watch it

  • Bodhi

    We don't have HBO anymore so I can't watch it. I seriously almost cried when I found out

  • L.O.V.E.

    My wife watched this twice already.

    Now our television is covered with rhinestones and wont stop singing show tunes

  • Maguita NYC

    Is she making you wear those sparkly white Speedos yet?

  • L.O.V.E.

    Make me? Ha, yesterday I added red and blue sparkly stars and walked around my hood with sparklers in each hand, cuz 'merica! Then I sang, God Save the Queen. You know, in honor of our British comrades from World War II.

  • Maguita NYC

    Sparkletits must be so jealous right now!

    Would PAY to see you walking around with your sparkly whities and bejeweled hands, singing Shake Your Groove thing in your hood. CASH MONEY.

  • L.O.V.E.

    4th of July will put on the old school roller skates, use the fireworks to propel me, set the boom box to 11, while lip synching Donna Summer's Love To Love You Baby and She Works Hard For The Money.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Maguita NYC

    CASH MONEY. And I'd rather you sing Shake Your Groove Thing.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    That gif of Rob Lowe whipping his head around has killed me. I am dead now.

  • Uriah_Creep

    That's too bad; can I have your hat?

  • Lauren_Lauren

    You'll have to pull me out of it first.

  • JenVegas

    I did not love this movie. It was what it was. But more importantly I think it serves as fine, fine example of why everyone should cast Matt Damon in all of the movies all of the time. I watched 3 of his movies this weekend (not intentionally, but I'm trying to blow through everything on my DVR before we move this weekend.) And I have to say that man can make even the lamest, mediocre movie a bit better. Seriously. Just...be in everything Matt Damon.

  • Kala

    Agreed. I enjoyed both of their performances, but the movie itself didn't knock my socks off.

    The "fierce smoking" gif is amazing.

  • Wednesday

    I'm with you. It was OK. But not fabulous.

    It was like a Lifetime movie with extra sparkles and explicit sex.

  • emmelemm

    That sounds like the best thing I've ever heard of.

  • e jerry powell

    Throw in some cheesecake and I'll never go home.

  • I will never forget the impish glee on Douglas' face as his head peeked over booth at the glory hole

  • e jerry powell

    But seriously, going to the arcade in the furs? Just not done. No amount of dry-cleaning can get all that disgusting out of those clothes.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Thankfully they were brief, but those surgery scenes...yeesh. No sugar coating there.

    Did Michael Douglas actually play the piano parts, or was it some movie trickery?

  • Maguita NYC

    Was curious as well, for it was truly impressive. As for the rest, Douglas did get most of Liberace's mannerism and "Vocal Fry" down pat.

    Who would've thought though, decades before the Kardashians, Liberace was Vocal Fry-ing the shit out of American ears.

  • Michael Adams

    I've not seen this yet, but a Las Vegas resident named Phillip Fortenberry did most of the piano playing for Michael Douglas.

    http://tv.broadwayworld.com/ar...

  • BlackRabbit

    If I were Matt Damon, I'd have kept that hat.

  • MrsAtaxxia

    Rob Lowe in that face will now forever haunt my dreams in the best possible way.

  • emmelemm

    Really? Cause it's kinda haunting my dreams in the worst possible way.

    He looks like a cat. A really tightly strung cat.

  • MrsAtaxxia

    There was also the part where I realized Scott Bakula was in it. Fucking tremendous.

  • e jerry powell

    And ever so tasty.

  • I know, right? For the first time ever the words, " When did Scott Bakula get so hot?" actually passed these lips.

  • e jerry powell

    FOR SHAME.

    Scott Bakula has always been hot.

  • MrsAtaxxia

    He looked goooooood. Working the shit outta that scarf action.

  • e jerry powell

    And there were so many even filthier possibilities.

  • e jerry powell

    It happened on my television more than once, thank you very much.

  • Fredo

    This movie was fantastically gay. Flamboyantly gay. It was Big Gay Al gay or The Producers "Keep It Gay" gay. It was amazingly, stupendously gay.

    And at its core, it's a real story about two very flawed persons who use each other both in ways both good and bad. It's about people who love each other and hurt each other. It's about keeping open secrets (when you introduce a grown man wearing tight, crotch-enhancing slacks as your "houseboy"...) and bearing the burden of living those secrets.

    In short, I loved every single gay moment of this movie.

  • e jerry powell

    Please. Big Gay Al has nothing on Liberace. Mr. Slave and Mr. Garrett put together in a cosmic Colorado three-way with Big Gay Al can't carry Liberace's Crate & Barrel pearl-inlaid piss bucket.

    I'm talking about gay like we haven't seen in at least a generation. This is gay that would choke Madonna and still have enough gay left to asphyxiate Lady Gaga.

  • Sofia

    I will illegally stream the sparkles out of this movie.

  • BWeaves

    I don't have HBO, but I want to watch this very badly. Preferably with John Barrowman. I think we'd have fun MST3King it.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    Oh god, I NEEEEED Barrowman to MST3K it. He and Alan Carr, drunk on schnapps.

  • Mrcreosote

    I cannot believe you left out Baby Boy.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I didn't know Tyrese was in this movie!

  • MrsAtaxxia

    You remembered his name!

  • Melanie Eric

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  • Winner winner, chicken dinner!

  • So I'll creepily start calling you that the rest of the movie!

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