Pajiba

My boyfriend will whine like the Chamberlain Skeksis when he wants to give me the heebie jeebies but really, the Garthim gave me terrible nightmares as a child.

No Franklin from AD?

Also, the worst thing about the Oogie Loves (aside from their name) is that their eyes are always half-shut. Like they're high on all the fucking drugs imaginable, and they're about to have a psychotic moment and rip your heart out while it's still beating.

Brr.

The commercial for the Oogieloves is one of the few movie commercials that airs on Fox News (which I am exposed to for hours every day due to my work situation), which makes me wonder if it's some conservative propaganda movie, like that horribly unfunny "American Carol" from a few years ago.

(It's entirely possible that movie commercials air on Fox News all the time, and I've only noticed this one because it looks so fucking horrid)

Holy shit, just one look at the Critters just brought back the goddamn worst nightmares of my childhood. At one point I had my mom cover up all my stuffed animals with blankets because I was convinced they were critters at night. I think I watched the stupid movie at a friend's house...and I never forgave them.

Anthony Hopkins ventriloquist dummy, Fats, from Magic(1978)

That thing *still* gives me nightmares 30 years after I first saw it.

looks great!

WHY DID I CLICK ON THIS ARTICLE? (Aside from powering the almighty Pajiba hate machine's wallet.)

Skeksis! They totally remind me of the lady in the cubicle next to me. She even eats like them... Really loudly. And smacky.

This is giving me some good ideas for Halloween.

I do NOT have PUPPET CANCER!

You are also forgetting the Hugga Bunch dolls. They were worse than the Poltergeist clown for me!

I'd also include all the puppets Tool used in their videos, most notably "Sober" and "Prison Sex.". Gaaah.

My mom grew up with these two as the stars of, at the time only, TV-show for kids. And yes, she was scarred for live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

Man, screw those critter assholes. I watched that movie when I was nine, and to this day, I have a thing against small furry creatures with sharp teeth. My friend had a dog that I swear looked like one of them, and whenever I stayed at her house, that dog would sit in the doorway in the dark and just stare at me. All I could see was the outline of a small hairy thing in the door, and even though it had a cute pomeranian face in the daytime, I know that asshole morphed into a critter at night.

E. Mother Frakking T.: The Extra Terrorestrial.

My grandmother took me and some of my cousins to ET in the theater. When ET came on screen my 7 year old sister started screaming hysterically. My grandmother had to spend the rest of the movie with her out in the lobby.

Anything by Sid and Marty Krofft. HR Puff n Stuff. Seriously, f*** those guys.

It's der Clown, for fuck's sake.

Also, the Critters were hilarious.

The fieries from Labyrinth really creeped me out when I was a kid!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

man, they still creep the hell out of me

No Chuckie?
No Yoda?
No Jabba the Hutt?

How could you be scared of this little guy?

Or Salacious Crumb, for that matter.

No Talky Tina? That doll scarred me for life!

Ok...scrolling down...some of these...downright scary. But then...screeching car noise... "Black Devil Doll" ....wait, what? Ok, part of me is distracted by nice legs, the rest of me is wondering about the crocheted nighty and kneesocks. (What the what??!?) Finally I get around to noticing the puppet/doll, but it's too late, my mind is already otherwise occupied.
But if you want my vote, it's a close one - either Dolly Dearest or Baby Oopsie.

Having never heard of that movie, I looked it up on IMDB and read the following synopsis:

"A young, moist, buxom teen vixen finds herself hurled into an odyssey of
forbidden sex and unspeakable violence after an innocent evening
dabbling in the occult."

Now I kinda want to see it.

Moist?

Not to be uncouth, Mrs. J., but in this kind of situation, "moist" may be the mot juste.

You're a wee, little, puppet man!

it's so wrong how much i love that episode.

but it feels so right

Nothing wrong at all with loving it.

Embrace the felt, and the polyester stuffing.

I can't adequately express how much I love the "Smile Time" episode:

"I'm made of felt. And my nose comes off."

That 'The Devil Dolls' doll looks just like Nic Cage.

Well that's my nightmares sorted for the next 2 weeks...

SLITHEEN.

Big, evil eyes like black pools of despair, and giant retarded baby mouths that gave me breastfeeding nightmares for weeks. And I'm a dude.

What? No female gremlin?

That was no female...that was a male gremlin in drag.

Or a pre-op transvestigremlin.

That was actually Nicki Minaj in gremlin form

Or are they asexual? Or hermaphrodites? Or maybe Stripe had an off camera procedure and is now ... Stripper? Lana?

Let's have a little sensitivity.

Let me write Dan Savage and get back to you.

"You know what the kids LOVE? Vaccuums! We should have a puppet that's a giant vaccuum!"
"Can we make him a 'nerdy' vaccuum, like with glasses and stuff?."
"Ok, but I'm in charge of coming up with the incredibly stupid title!"
- said some future employees of 'Michael Bay's Terrible Ideas' Corporation.

No Pin?

I started looking at these, and then IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED MY DECISION, scrolling furiously down while looking at the wall.
I may never sleep again.

No killer Zuni warrior doll from Trilogy of Terror?

I just told my 10 year old about that story and she refused to sleep in her room that night.

The yammering of that thing was scary by itself.

I love you.