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10 Movies You Can Watch On Netflix Instant That Are 100% Rapeless

By Rebecca Pahle | Seriously Random Lists | April 24, 2014 | Comments ()


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I don’t claim to speak for everyone, but I personally am pretty dang sick of rape being used as a plot device this week. I mean, I am normally, but following the extended controversy over that Game of Thrones scene I have a particularly strong desire to plug my brain into some entertainment where none of the characters are under the threat of sexual assault. Maybe it’s just me, yanno? But if you feel the same, here are ten movies on Netflix Instant that will fulfill that need.

Senna
This BAFTA-winning documentary on Brazilian Formula One racer Ayrton Senna is a great watch for people, like myself, who neither know nor care about racing in particular or sports in general. It has rivalries, tension, hope, heartbreak, fast cars, and no rape.

paranorman netflix.jpg

ParaNorman
The best animated film of 2012 (sorry, Brave and Wreck-It Ralph), ParaNorman’s climatic final scene might make you cry, but it won’t be tears of rage that a female character was raped to establish how eeeeevil a male character whom we’re later asked to sympathize with is (*sideeyes Vikings*).

The Avengers
Captain America, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Thor, Iron Man, and the Hulk join forces to save the world from Loki and his evil alien minions. None of them are rapists.

There Will Be Blood
There may be blood, but there will never, at any point during this Oscar-winning epic of American ambition and milkshake slurpage, be rape.

north and south netflix.jpg

North & South
Who wants a BBC costume drama where a spirited young woman has to decide if she wants to lock lips with a brooding hottie played by Richard Armitage? I do, I do! Who wants a movie where there’s rape for shock value? Not me! Bam! North & South.

Sherlock Jr.
The most well-known scene in this 1924 Buster Keaton classic, in which Buster’s projectionist/wannabe detective protagonist gets sucked into a movie where things keep changing on him (He’s on a busy street! No, it’s the edge of a cliff! No, it’s a lion-filled jungle!), is technically impressive even by today’s standards. Also impressive: No rape! Thanks, Buster K.

Safety Not Guaranteed
Aubrey Plaza’s safety isn’t guaranteed if she decides to take resident crackpot (or is he?) Mark Duplass up on his offer to go time traveling. But her safety from rapists is guaranteed, as there are none in this movie.

headhunters netflix.jpg

Headhunters
Game of Thrones’ Nikolaj Coster-Waldau co-stars in this excellent 2012 Norwegian thriller as Clas Greve, a too-perfect-to-be true stranger with a mysterious past, an impeccable ability to carry himself in a suit, and an absence of a desire to rape his sisterlover (if has one—the writer left that out). There’s a lot of violence in Headhunters, but none of it is sexual in nature. That’s how I like ‘em.

Man On Wire
It’s called Man on Wire, not Rapist On Your Computer/TV Screen.

The Conversation
Gene Hackman reminds us how terrible it is that his last movie before retirement was Welcome to Mooseport and not The Royal Tenenbaums (moment of silence) in this ’70s classic about paranoia and how human beings connect with each other (or don’t). An obscenely attractive Harrison Ford, in one of his first movie roles, is there. Rape isn’t. Hoorah!

(After this week Rebecca never wants to write against Game of Thrones tendency toward violence against women again, so she really wishes they’d stop doing it.)



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • Gonna add in Pacific Rim, featuring Mako "I built a sword into my robot" Mori and Raleigh "I will follow Mako Mori into the depths of the ocean because she's amazing and I respect her so much" Becket.

  • EvilMonkeyPope

    There's ONLY ten?!

  • Timothy Fitzpatrick

    I can' tell what this person is saying about most of these movies... is that some kind of like "movie-speak"....

  • Steve Ward

    The word "rape" is on my home page six times. SIX. I don't have a point to go along with this, it just seemed worth pointing out. Does seem a tad high, though. Should I be on a watchlist at this point?

  • HaydeeStaggers

    This Movie has sent a good message for society.

    http://musclebuildinggermany.n...

  • David Chandler

    Nice try, Senna. "Racing" is just one letter away from "Raping". Not cool.

  • googergieger

    Boring confession time. I didn't like There Will Be Blood. Then again I didn't like Big Lebowski for the longest time until I saw it again in my mid twenties and loved it. I know completely different movies and all that, BUT...

    are they? Think about it. I didn't.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    I didn't like either movie and I've never gone back to rewatch.

  • googergieger

    Well granted when I rewatched Lebowski I was drunk/high with some friends, so that might've helped. Then again I was the same for Avatar and that was still just as shitty as when I saw it sober and totally alone.

  • I'm not going to come out with the big PRO-rape-as-a-plot-device argument, but.... The reason this is an extended controversy is because Pajba writers, and writers on similar sites, won't stop talking about it. Every day there's another headline -or two- all boiling down to the edgy assertion that rape is bad. and all you do is validate their choice to USE rape as a plot device.

  • Three_nineteen

    Of course that's why it's a big controversy. If Pajiba and other sites didn't talk about it, showrunners would continue to do it and then it would just be an accepted plot device with no conversation.

  • gnibs

    Can you guys change the name of your former entertainment site to
    "RAPE CULTURE!" ?

  • John G.

    Rebecca, you're awesome. Why don't you write here more? Are you somewhere else too that I could read you?

  • emmalita

    The Mary Sue and Twitter.

  • lonestarr357

    'The best animated film of 2012'. Finally, someone else gets it.

  • BiblioGlow

    You forgot Dredd, which features Lena Headey not only not being raped*, but as a female villain who is completely badass and never once receives so much as a flirtatious comment, side-eye, or up and down glance. No, not even that thing where a minion gets a little full of himself and implies that maybe she could pay him in other ways while staring at her lasciviously and then she has to kill him to show that she is a strong independent villain who don't take no shit from underling men. Nothing even close ever happens.
    (Sorry, I was marveling by the end of the film and I always feel the need to share it.)
    *ALSO there is spectacular violence, so it's right up GoT fans' alley.

  • BendinIntheWind

    YES YES A THOUSAND YES.

    I fucking love "Dredd" almost as much as I love "Lockout".

    Also you forgot to mention the bit of backstory explaining that she bit the dick off a pimp.

  • BiblioGlow

    I FUCKING LOVE LOCKOUT.
    It's so dumb. I say that with the utmost respect. It does dumb better than any movie I've ever seen. Guy Pearce is amazing and I never knew.
    Have you seen Goon? Go and watch it. You will laugh until you cannot breathe.

  • chanohack

    Because it's like Goon and Lockout? Oh my god, FINE, I'll watch your Dredd movie.

  • BiblioGlow

    You will have zero regrets. Ok, maybe you'll regret this one scene*, but the rest of the movie will outweigh it.
    And when you're done with Dredd, you'll want to go watch Almost Human because holy shit, Karl Urban has a sense of humor**.

    *Your scene may vary.
    **Sense of humor not evidenced in this movie. Judges do not have senses of humor. Nor do they remove their helmets.

  • chanohack

    I watched it and it was great.

    Sooooooooo, can I come clean about something? This whole time I thought Dredd starred Keith Urban and I was like, shit, that sounds awful, but everyone seemed to love it so maybe I misjudged that guy. And I was probably seven minutes into the movie before I realized wait a minute, that's Carl Urban. Ooohhhhhhhhhhh, now I see! I'm dumb.

  • BiblioGlow

    Shit, that does sound awful. No wonder you avoided it. I'm glad to have helped wear you down! It's not quite as delightful as Goon or Lockout - it's a little too grim for that - but I enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than I ever expected to.

  • John G.

    I really enjoyed this film, way more than I expected to.

  • Salad_Is_Murder

    And suddenly Pajiba was tumblr.

  • BendinIntheWind

    YO REBECCA, I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT WRECK-IT RALPH WAS THE BEST ANIMATED MOVIE OF 2012 OF ALL TIME! OF ALL TIME!

  • Frank P. Gengo IV

    I've never even seen "Wreck-It Ralph," but thank you for this.

  • foolsage

    I have to see "ParaNorman" now, because "Wreck-It Ralph" was fucking awesome.

  • BendinIntheWind

    I actually do love "ParaNorman" (though maybe a notch less than "Coraline"), but seriously, I freaking BAWLED at "Wreck-It Ralph". So clever, so fun, so many feels.

  • foolsage

    OK, so I watched "ParaNorman" last night. It's indeed a great movie, with a solid message about tolerance, interesting characters, and a lot of fun to be had. Then I rewatched "Wreck-it Ralph" tonight, and, well, as good as "ParaNorman" undeniably was, I'm still Team Ralph.

  • BendinIntheWind

    http://manausa.com/wp-content/...

    I have a huge nerd-boner for stop-motion animation, so I could easily ParaNorman on mute and just marvel at the pretty, but yeah - no contest!

  • lowercase_ryan

    Also: Schooled: The Price of College Sports is a fantastic documentary on Netflix right now.

  • BWeaves

    Headhunters was great. Part thriller, part black comedy. Nice twists and turns.

  • Salieri2

    Such a great flick. I went in hoping for a clever plot and a bunch of Nikolaj Coster-Waldau eye candy: check. But I wasn't expecting the stunning Aksel Hennie. Revelatory performance.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I applaud the entirely justifiable righteous frustration reflected and cleverly presented in this list. I spend my life quietly raging at these kinds of issues. Thank you.

  • BAM

    Disagree: Avengers totally raped my wallet. And now the individual characters continue to do so...

  • Sara_Tonin00

    To be fair, Game of Thrones has a tendency towards violence towards men, children and eunuchs as well. It would almost be sexist if there WASN'T violence towards women.

    but the non-rapey qualifiers on this list made me laugh more than I intellectually/political-correctly think they should have.

    ETA: Mooseport isn't actually that bad a movie, is it? I remember family members enjoying it.

  • Three_nineteen

    Remind me, which episode is it that a man gets raped? Because I can point out one or two episodes where women are murdered.

    ETA: Did Theon get raped? I fast forwarded through his torture scenes, so I'm not sure, but I do remember some naked girls with him.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Aside from the torture mentioned below, he's threatened with rape right before Ramsay faux rescues him.

    There are about ten thousand and two castrated men on the show. Not sure if the loss of the primary sex organ counts enough for you.

  • Three_nineteen

    Since all that happens off screen, it counts for me as much as the fact that all the female slaves have probably been raped hundreds of times.

  • Nail Polish Color

    His torturer brought the women in to make him, um, excited, then proceeded to cut off his man parts. I would argue that's just as bad as rape, if not worse.

  • Strand

    I don't know, I find a marathon of Antichrist, I Spit On Your Grave, The Accused and Sleepers just warms my heart.

  • Ginger McFlea

    North and South x 10 would also have sufficed as a list. Richard Armitage should have been knighted for his services to top hats and unbuttoned white shirts in this mini series. I feel a little weak just thinking about it.

  • You don't need Henry to explain.

  • Mrs. Julien

    So what you are saying is that, given the opportunity, you would look back at him?

  • Ginger McFlea

    I would indeed look back at him.
    Given the opportunity, there are some other things I would also do that go somewhat beyond looking. I suspect you can work out what these might be; I don't need Henry to explain.

  • Berry

    Are you saying that your foolish passion for him is not over?

  • Ginger McFlea

    It's just a business proposition.

  • Berry

    Not a proposition to talk about fruit?

  • I can always count on you to share in the North and South love. (Is that creepy to say? Sorry.)

  • e jerry powell

    But see, I always thought that milkshake drinking was a sexual euphemism...

  • PDamian

    After all, it does bring all the boys to the yard.

  • e jerry powell

    As a matter of fact...

  • pandapants

    So obscene I gasped. Wow, young Harrison Ford.

  • Wigamer

    This is my favorite obscenely attractive Harrison Ford:

  • Sara_Tonin00

    with the SCAR!

  • e jerry powell

    Looking ever so slightly like a pouty Michael York, no?

  • _Alexander_

    I never expected ParaNorman to be this good

  • AvaLehra

    I haven't seen it because I thought it would be a dud. Good to know! I know what we're watching on Sunday.

  • _Alexander_

    Yeah. I wasn't impressed by the trailers either and I thought it was going to be some kiddy stuff. I only watched it because of Anna Kendrick. But It turned out to be so weirdly amazing

  • Ben

    It's just such a fucking amazing movie.

  • lisa741

    My Uncle Gabriel got a stunning blue Dodge
    Charger SRT8 from only workin part time on a home pc... hop over to here F­i­s­c­a­l­P­o­s­t­.­ℂ­o­m

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