10 Actresses Whom Disney Needs To Get Off Its Ass And Add to the 'Star Wars' Cast

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10 Actresses Whom Disney Needs To Get Off Its Ass And Add to the 'Star Wars' Cast

By Rebecca Pahle | Seriously Random Lists | April 30, 2014 | Comments ()

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The cast of Star Wars: Episode VII: Ford. Hamill. Fisher. Daniels. Baker. Mayhew. These six men and this one woman. Disney, Disney, Disney. I know your movies don’t tend to brim with female characters, but that’s no excuse. Surely you can do better than two. Quick, call these ladies up while you still have time. They’ll probably want to do it. It’s fricking Star Wars.

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Lucy Liu
I will hear no arguments against Jedi Master Lucy Liu, unless your argument is that she should play a Sith Lord instead.

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Lupita Nyong’o
Girl should have offers for starring roles in big-budget movies falling at her damn feet by now. Hell, maybe she does. Maybe I am completely wrong about Hollywood’s willingness to cast women of color in lead roles. It’s possible that, as rumored, Disney already approached Lupita Nyong’o about being in Star Wars. Try harder, Disney. Shower her in puppies. Offer her an island. Offer her an island made of puppies. You do what you have to.

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Dame Judi Dench
Did you know that one of the most delightfully insane casting theories to come out of the great Star Wars rumor mill of 2013-14 is that Dame Judi would play Mon Mothma? Do you, now that you know that information, find it impossible to face a new War of Stars in which La Dench is not present? Disney got Glenn Close for Guardians of the Galaxy. Nothing is impossible.

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Michelle Rodriguez
The prequel trilogy soured me on the notion of clones, but there is no parallel universe in which I would not wait in line for weeks to see a clone army of Michelle Rodriguezes kicking Empire/droid/literally any ass.

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Anna Chancellor
I require a movie where Anna Chancellor is a political powerhouse who steps on mens’ throats in space right the hell now.

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Rinko Kikuchi
Bonus to casting Rinko: The overjoyed shrieks of the Pacific Rim fandom could be captured by foley artists and used to mock up some pretty convincing alien death throes.

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Lena Headey
On second thought, no, don’t do this. Not because Headey’s busy with Game of Thrones, but because I’m pretty sure my heart would give out if it happened.

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Michelle Yeoh

Y(e)o(h), Disney. Michelle Yeoh lightsaber battle. Give me it. That is all.

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Amandla Stenberg

Cutest. Sith Lord. Ever. Sleepy Hollow, let us borrow her. I swear we’ll give her back.

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Amy Adams
I want Adams playing basically the same character she played in Enchanted—Disney princess, psychic power over rodents, exceedingly chipper, etc.—except also a bounty hunter who has a torrid affair with Oscar Isaac’s ruggedly handsome Jedi Master, whom she seduces as part of a hit put out by whatever alien mocap master Andy Serkis plays. Only then Adams realizes she’s actually in love with Isaac, and they have really attractive babies. Screw you, J.J. Abrams, I’ll write the fanfic myself.

(Lupita pic courtesy of Matt Petit / ©A.M.P.A.S.)

Rebecca’s (@RebeccaPahle) trying not to let herself get too excited about the Star Wars sequels, but it’s proving real damn difficult if John Boyega’s going to be there.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • All of these, please! Especially the nonwhite ladies, but really any and all of them.

  • mrsatyre

    So, add these women just because? Yes, they're talented. Yes, they're beautiful, but those aren't reasons. There needs to be a story that requires them. Apparently this one doesn't.

  • Isn't it AMAZING how most stories don't seem to need women? It's almost like the majority of movies are written by men who don't see the need for women in their stories beyond one or two for love interests. Amazing, right?

  • rio

    I love you.

  • <3

  • michelle yeoh. yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

  • Sean

    Lupita Nyong’o is supposedly already signed. Just not announced for some reason.

  • Eastwood Ravine

    Yes, yes, Michelle Yeoh! Please!

  • Susan

    i would watch a movie with all these ladies who are part of an awesome girl gang who go out and do awesome shit. star wars? whatever.

  • Still no Ksenia Solo?

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Good call.

  • BlackRabbit

    Claudia Black.

  • e jerry powell

    Virginia Hey.

    (Anytime anyone brings up Aeryn Sun, I'm going to counter with Zotoh Zhaan. It will never be any other way.)

  • Sean

    Ha, well, I lusted after Aeryn. But I liked Zhaan very much. I actually met Hey at a con, and she was incredibly friendly and funny. Somewhere I have some pics of her and I.

  • e jerry powell

    I want to experience unity with Zhaan.

    Hey is also nice. :-)

  • Muhnah_Muhnah

    Hell fire everyone and replace them with these ladies and I'll throw money at them for days on end (pound coins)! I'm serious, someone get someone on the phone and let's make a space movie with JUST ladies. It'd be fun to watch misogynists have a conniption.

  • Mel

    Hey! You should check out this new web series I'm working on! It's all about space and has a primarily female cast. There's one token man on board but he's a chef and married. Please check out the trailer we have posted on our kickstarter and share with fellow frustrated feminists.
    Kickstarter: http://goo.gl/tNfY7V

    Facebook: www.facebook.com/spacehappens

  • Ladies in SPACE? What about their periods?! They'd probably explode or something.

  • emmalita

    You have good ideas.

  • Silly rabbit, everybody knows there no Asians and only one black person at a time allowed in the galaxy far, far away.

  • However you are allowed to have dozens of little people, so bring on Dinklage

  • _Alexander_

    My idea for the new cast is simple. The new series will go back go basics. Tone down things. We will start with say a simple smuggler ship. His captin could be an old veteran from the war vs the Empire who grew bitter with the fact that the Rebel Alliance didn't deliver on it's promises. We can have him played by say..Nathan Fillion. Of course his second in command played by Ginna Torres is always by side. And of course we got to have the hard drunking Wokkie played by Adam Baldwin. Of course we also have a lovable pilot played by say Alan Tudyk and of course the brilliant and cheery Twi'lek mechanic played by Jewel Staite

    But everything chances one day when a pair of siblings(say played by Sean Maher and Summer Glau with a mysterious secret come on board. It turns out that the well dressed doctor has saved his sister from the a high security prison there. She was held because she was part of an Empire experiment meant to imbue normal people with Jedi powers. A procedure that has left her highly unstable

    And of course we get a mysterious old jedi who just happens to visit the ship.

    Naturally to escape they happen to take an ambassador (played by Morena Baccarin) hostage

    They are chased by many many people like Mark Shepherd and Christina Hendricks

    I am just saying. I think this could work

  • BWeaves

    I can't wait for this to be dubbed into Chinese.

  • e jerry powell

    Is there really gender equity within the ranks of the Sith, though?

  • Put Liu in charge and things would balance out right quick, numbers be damned.

  • e jerry powell

    Sith Yakuza!

    Except they'd have to change her name, since Tarantino owns O-Ren Ishii.

  • _Alexander_

    What!? You didn't include Bjork? How could you?

  • Dariuss

    This story is getting a lot of traction, but no one is mentioning that the other main female character hasn't been cast yet - hence not in the press release yesterday.

    So that will be 2 new ladies + 4 new gentlemen (not counting Sirkis).

    The (assumed) main new character is black, Oscar Isaac is Hispanic, and the uncast female is supposed to be black also (but who knows how that will play out).

    Seems pretty balanced in terms of representation.

    If I was looking for outrage, it would be the lack of Lando. Come on, Billy Dee Williams is the man!

  • Yeaaah... I think it might be a problem when we see 2:4 as a balanced gender ratio.

  • Dariuss

    Not in real life, but in a Star Wars movie it's a huge improvement.

    As near as I can figure, the best woman:man ratio in the 6 original films is 1:5. With a grand total of one black guy (the aforementioned Lando, who I hope recovers from his health problems).

    Hopefully the film also carries on the tradition of strong female characters. If there's two new female characters, plus Leia, who are as bad ass as Leia / Mara Jade / Jaina Solo / etc that's a win (to me anyway).

    Side note: Just thinking over recent big Hollywood films, and I think Man of Steel might have the most balanced gender ratio in recent year. Male/Female villain, Male/Female hero, Male/Female co-workers at the Planet, TWO sets of Mother/Fathers that are good role models, all competent, no damsels. I guess the guy from Law and Order might throw it out of whack slightly, but that still comes out to 10:11.

  • Art3mis

    2 women to 4 men is... not what I would describe as balanced. I also question how important the other female character will be, given that everyone else has been cast and is apparently doing reads together without her.

    Your comment reminds me of that study they did in workplaces where women who talked far less than men in meetings were perceived by their male colleagues to be talking more than anyone else in the room. It's the same thing in Hollywood -- 1/4 women somehow is perceived as THAT'S TONS OF LADY REPRESENTATION WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US.

  • stella

    I could be mistaken , but i think mr williams has some prretty serious health problems.

  • CMooreVerdad

    Kristen Bell as a no-nonsense, fast-talking..something? Do they have private investigators in Star Wars?

  • I feel like bounty hunters probably do some investigative work too, right? Like, that's part of their wheelhouse?

  • Berry

    Well they damn well should.

  • foca9

    Thanks, Rebecca, now I've got the sadness because of The Hour's cancellation back again. Why, BBC, whyyyyyyyy.

  • I could see why Lupita Nyong'o may turn this down. She's likely fielding a thousand offers right now for every project under the sun and the idea of committing to a decade of filming behind green screens and having her likeness eternally pawned by Disney/Lucas may not be palatable.

  • $78742978

    So I know Star Wars is a big deal, and I know there ain't no ladies in it, but... it's gonna be shitty. Does anyone think this movie is going to be good? It's not going to be good. I was actually upset that Wonder Woman was going to be in that Batman/Superman dreck, because it's worse to have the most famous female superhero in a shitty movie that will surely make her an uninteresting object (which Zack Snyder will), than no women at all. I have very little faith in JJ "Mystery Box" Abrams' ability to create a movie without plot holes, or with compelling women. I prefer minimal damage on this one. I mean, good lord keep my girl Lupita away from the mystery box.

  • I thought you were gonna say they should make Lupita a princess, since she basically already is the human embodiment of one. She has a lovely speaking voice, if this imaginary princess movie were animated.

    My only quibble with this list is the last item. Everyone else is a hell yes, but Amy Adams (Pajiba darling and lovely person she might be) is of very limited range. Not this range. Then again, that might be what makes her a perfect fit for a Star Wars film.

  • She could play Mon Mothma's daughter. Imagine Adams and The Dench together....

  • I imagine Adams withering in Dench's icy shadow and it turning into a movie about mothers and daughters and how we all just want to be loved.

  • Jericho Smith

    So...Mom Mothma?

  • John W

    They want me to start caring about Star Wars again, cast Lena Headey. I'll definitely be interested again.

  • NateMan

    Space is certainly a sausage-fest, isn't it? There's a lot of lightsaber wars going on up there, and I ain't talking about the ones that glow.

    Do you think Wookie dongs are stored in furry sheaths like dogs? Because now I put that image in my own head and I can't get it out until I put it in yours.

  • $99571230

    I'm sure if you did a search for "wookie dongs" you'd find out pretty quickly.

  • e jerry powell

    Oh. Oh dear.

    So, like, on @midnight last night, hashtag wars was #WorseStarWars. Kyle Kinane's last offering was Fleshlightsaber. I couldn't BREATHE.

  • Tinkerville

    Gina Torres as Jedi master please and thank you.

  • Or as a Republic Admiral?

  • NateMan

    Yeah, I want her to be the hardass in a position of power, rather than just another soldier.

  • Hell to the yes.

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