10 Actors Who Should Always Be Bald

By Rebecca Pahle | Seriously Random Lists | April 16, 2015 |


I swear I am not writing this piece entirely as an excuse to use the top picture. No, really.

Never let these ten actors have hair. It ain’t right.

Jason Statham

jason statham bald.jpg

Look at how wrong this is:

jason statham hair.jpg

Why would you?

Mark Strong

mark strong blue suit.jpg

Strong can look good with hair:

mark strong closer to the moon.jpg

But he can also look like this with hair:

mark strong sinestro.jpg

So really, why risk it? The man always looks good bald. Let’s just stick with that.

Bruce Willis

bruce willis bald.jpg

There’s a reason I put this

bruce willis surrogates.jpg

on my list of the 21 worst movie haircuts of the 21st century. It’s fucking with the fabric of the universe.

Taye Diggs

taye diggs gif.gif

I—what?

taye diggs 2.jpg

I need a minute.

Screen Shot 2015-04-15 at 8.19.41 PM.png

None of this is fair.

J.K. Simmons

jk simmons bald.jpg

Except when he’s playing J. Jonah Jameson.

j-jonah-jameson-lol.gif

Everything about J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson is acceptable.

Corey Stoll

corey stoll heyoooo.jpg

Stoll gets a similar exemption. Hair is OK when he’s playing Hemingway

corey stoll who wants to fight.gif

and no other time.

corey stoll 2.jpg

I’ll give everyone a moment to collect themselves…

(Hey, remember that time when Midnight in Paris was nominated for a SAG Award for Best Ensemble Cast, and Corey Stoll wasn’t included in the ensemble despite being a major supporting actor universally regarded as one of the best parts of the film? Fucking Carla Bruni got in there! Do the SAG Awards cut you out if you’re not a SAG member? Like, if Owen Wilson weren’t SAG, would they just have ignored the fact that he starred in the film? What happened there?! It keeps me up at night).

Vin Diesel

This is Vin Diesel with hair.

diesel dance.gif

This is Vin Diesel without hair.

vin diesel 2.jpg

This is Vin Diesel with a puppy!

vin diesel dog.jpg

You know what to do, America.

Dwayne Johnson

the rock 2.jpg

Do I need to remind you again? I think I do:

the rock fanny pack.jpg

The Tooch

tucci age of extinction.jpg

I am using an image from the fourth Transformers movie. What have you done to me, Stanley?!

stanley tucci gazes into your soul.jpg

Sit there transfixed as he gazes into your soul.

Sir Patrick Stewart

Obviously. I don’t even need to say anything here. I’ll just unload some gifs on you:

patrick stewart picard.gif

patrick stewart weird 2.gif

patrick stewart idek.gif

Rebecca is a Rebecca and is also a Rebecca on Twitter Rebecca.


Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.

Here's What the Full Cast Of Disney's Live-Action 'Beauty and the Beast' Looks Like | Pajiba Pet Peeve Madness: And The Winner Is...






Bigots, Trolls & MRAs Are Not Welcome in the Comments


The Pajiba Store


petr-store-pajiba.png



Privacy Policy