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Morning Briefing: It's Time to Retire and Replace the Beckinsale Header Photo

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 27, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 27, 2018 |


GettyImages-104583239.jpg

Yesterday, the stock market jumped 1,000 points, representing the single biggest session jump in Dow history. It was also the first day that Donald Trump didn’t talk about the markets on Twitter for a while. With the 1000 point gain, the stock market is back where it was on December 20th. It’s also still on track to be the worst year since 2008.

The reason Trump wasn’t active on Twitter was because he was headed to Iraq, where he spoke to the troops. “Is anybody here willing to give up the big pay raise you just got? You haven’t gotten one in more than 10 years. More than 10 years. And we got you a big one. I got you a big one. I got you a big one … “They said, ‘You know, we could make it smaller. We could make it 3 percent. We could make it 2 percent. We could make it 4 percent,’” Trump said. “I said, ‘No. Make it 10 percent. Make it more than 10 percent.’”

There’s nothing in that statement that bears any resemblance to truth. The raise was 2.6 percent, and the military gets a raise of 1-3 percent every single year.

While there, for what it’s worth, Trump also signed MAGA hats, which violates Department of Defense guidelines for political activities.

The visit was Trump’s first to a conflict zone.

— As the shutdown enters its 6th day, no votes are expected today. The shutdown is unlikely to end until at least January 3rd, when the Democratic House passes a bill previously agreed upon, which the Senate will have to pass, as well. Trump will still have to sign it.

— Ivanka and Jared, nevertheless, continue to enjoy their vacation in Florida.

— Given the huge problems with Acting AG Mathew Whitaker, I’m not sure why anyone is focused on the fact that he lied about being named an Academic All-American while playing football at the University of Iowa, but it’s Christmas week, so it’s all we got.

— Elsewhere, good news everyone! The 7-year-old girl Trump called on Christmas Eve and asked whether she still believes in Santa Claus does, in fact, still believe in Santa Claus. Trump’s dick move could have been a blessing in disguise for her parents because, my God, life is easier once your kids give up the ghost on Santa.

— Finally, I’m running out of Kate Beckinsale photos, folks. For the new year, I think we should switch it up, and use someone else as a substitute header for Donald Trump. Beckinsale has served us well for the last year or more. She’s been great. We couldn’t have asked for a better substitute. Thank you, Kate! But also, we’ve exhausted the possibilities. Let’s try someone else, preferably someone with a lengthy career and filmography and therefore lots of photo possibilities to get us through 2019.

Give me your suggestions in the comments.



Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.



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