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Our Wiener President Wants to Sue 'SNL' Like a Wiener

By Mike Redmond | Politics | December 17, 2018 |

By Mike Redmond | Politics | December 17, 2018 |


donald-trump-chuck-schumer.jpg

Saturday Night Live has been mocking U.S. presidents for over 40 years now. It’s practically part of the job at this point, and most commanders-in-chief have taken it in stride because they understand how the First Amendment works. Even the stupid one gets it. But if anyone was going to get their snowflake feelings hurt over a comedy show, surely it’d be the soft, secret Muslim while eating arugula in his tan suit and definitely not President Strongman. He did the wrestling that one time, so there’s no way he wouldn’t let a few jokes roll right off his rippling American back.

Whoops.

As for who woke the baby, it was either Alec Baldwin in an extremely tepid cold open, or Scarlett Johansson’s milquetoast boyfriend delivering a milquetoast Weekend Update. I’ll let you take your pick even though it’s both because our president is a thin-skinned sweet potato with legs. “Put marshmallows on me for Thanksgiving,” he’s always saying.

Of course, it should be noted that Trump’s threat to violate the Constitution — in defiance of our forefathers’ expressed wishes that every American have the right to call members of our government corrupt f**king idiots — kicked off a flurry of tweets that practically scream, “Hello, I’m a chickenshit who’s trying to start a civil war because I know I’m going to jail.”

First off, a direct attack on the FBI.

Next up, a weird justification to keep separating families at the border even if kids get suffocated in a detention center every now and then. (For the record, despite what Rose Twitter likes to say, Trump and Obama’s policies are not the same.)

And finally, a complete assault on the rule of law.

Remember when Obama passed the ACA and Republicans wouldn’t stop referring to him as a king and a tyrant? Where are those assholes now? I might be a fancy Pennsylvania blogger, but I’m pretty sure orchestrating a bipartisan piece of legislation is nowhere close to the authoritarian shit show of threatening to silence dissenters while undermining our entire system of checks and balances because you demand total fealty. It just seems like one of those things ends in concentration camps and people getting branded with numbers.

Oh wait.

USA?



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