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Retiring the Most Obnoxious Internet Word or Phrase on Pajiba

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (201)



retiringdumbinternetphrases.jpg

Over the weekend, the awesome folks over at Jezebel put together a fun post about The 5 Most Overused Expressions on the Internet, expressions which include DIAF, FAIL, THIS, TL; DR, and “Wow … just wow.” (If some of those make no sense to you, I encourage you to check out the post). I am certainly not above co-opting a good idea when I see one, as long as proper credit is given, so that’s what we’re going to do here.

It’s the summer, which means that — while the movies are bigger and more ‘splosey — they are fewer and far between, and the television schedule doesn’t offer a lot of relief. That probably means a lot more community related posts over the next several months. Because I like you people. A lot. More than I probably should. But it’s our love/hate relationship that gives me a reason to wake up each morning and taunt you.

So, to make these community posts a little more fun, whatever they end up being, I’d like to propose something in the vein of Overused Internet Expressions. I want to retire one. To void it. Block it. Make it go away. There are quite a few that are Pajiba-centric, and maybe some of those you’ve all grown weary of. Or maybe there are other more general Internet expressions that annoy the hell out of you that you’d like to see go away.

So, today, I ask you all to nominate a word or expression (preferably not actual people, as that makes our job harder to write about, though it does often give rise to new and fun nicknames) that you’d like to see banished from Pajiba (and you can’t nominate me, either, because fuck you). I can’t make any express promises about completely eradicating that word or expression — we are very light moderators and our filtering and spam software is not all that great, as that obnoxious fucking fashionbags can attest (as can a certain commenter who has made his return of late, and who is on something of a short leash. Don’t make me upgrade the blocking programs), plus filtering out certain words may encroach upon other words or phrases that are necessary. But where our efforts to weed out that certain word or phrase fail us, shame always works, too (it is shame that has largely kept the “firsts” off of the site, as I’ve noticed you all take a lot of joy in mocking/browbeating the occasional “first” guy).

This post will probably either be largely ignored or turn into an ugly shit-storm. But it’s those ugly shit-storms that bring us together, right? Once a consensus is formed, I’ll announce that word or phrase and we’ll do our damndest to stamp it out. For the children.









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Comments

Well, I for one am glad to see the return of said short-leashed commentor.

Also, I hereby nominate "Well, I for one [...]" as the retired phrase. Largely because I use it far too often. (By the by, I had absolutely NO IDEA what TL;DR was until I read that post... can it count as overused if there are still people who don't know what it means?)

We hate love you too, Dustin. Or, at least, some of us do.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 12:14 PM

First?

Posted by: logar at June 1, 2010 12:15 PM

Hipster douchebag. It's a lazy descriptor and nobody knows what the hell it means.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 1, 2010 12:17 PM

'teh'
'kitteh'
'godtopus'
'murdertank'
'cinematic abortion'
'moist'
'panties'
'(insert fluid here) coming from people's noses and ruining keyboards' (put the goddam drink DOWN if you guffaw that regularly)
too many more to list now..

Posted by: C Wrench at June 1, 2010 12:17 PM

HA! I have been waiting for something like this. FINALLY a chance to begin my campaign of utter elimination. I'll be happy with either one of these, but more with the second one:

"The hammer is my penis"

and

"bunk"/"I'll be in my bunk"

Just ENOUGH. I mean trust me, *I'm* the one who reads every single comment posted here, and you would not believe how many times those two show up,They just need to DIE (in a fire! fuck off, Jezebel). They were funny the first couple of times but jeebus I'm sick of the sight of them.

And if they're not retired, well then, I will just ignore every single comment with those words in them. So, there.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 12:19 PM

Celebutard. Oh, how I hate that word. It is successful in that it is succinct and sounds as ugly as the concept behind it, but I think it can be retired.

I tried to post my comment too soon and was greeted with a Fail! from Pajiba. True story.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 12:19 PM

Nom, nom, nom...in reference to something delicious. It makes me want to punch people.

Posted by: Melina at June 1, 2010 12:20 PM

Now I shall mock myself.

You can't ban "wow... just...wow" or "____...just...___", because then we wouldn't have 2/3s of Pajiba Love/Nosek.

I'm a frequent user of "true story"... But I only say that when it isn't.

Posted by: logar at June 1, 2010 12:20 PM

'schaudenfreud'
'meta'
'LMFAO'
'Taking one for the team'
'man crush'

Posted by: C Wrench at June 1, 2010 12:21 PM

"Squeee"

Posted by: snapnhiss at June 1, 2010 12:22 PM

I second the votes for "I, for one" and "kitteh".

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 12:23 PM

Tracer Bullet is exactly right: "Hipster" needs to move into a home and be forgotten by family, friends, and modern society until it withers away and dies alone.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 1, 2010 12:23 PM

"This" is far and away my most hated response, followed closely by "Wow.... Just wow". The wow one doesn't make me want to hurt anyone but a response of just "This" puts me in a murderous rage. Luckily I don't really see it all to often here, if at all. Off the top of my head, I can't really think of too many words/phrases that are used regularly 'round here that get on my nerves. Although, I do seem to recall several folks being over the whe "be in my bunk" thing. So, this ought to be interesting.

I also just want to take to say how much I love this place. I lurk more than I post, but I feel like I know a whole lot of you. You guys are so civilized and intelligent and funny, it really has spoiled me from being able to read comments on any other site. So, thanks to you all for a great site.

Posted by: elsie at June 1, 2010 12:25 PM

Anything uttered by self-appointed board cops.

Posted by: sansho1 at June 1, 2010 12:26 PM

Epic. I hate it with passion -- wherever it is used -- and it does tend to get used on internet ad nauseam. If you ever read / hear me use it in a sentence, please kill me.

Posted by: SB at June 1, 2010 12:26 PM

Here's something obnoxious from me that is not a catchphrase -

It's spelled schadenfreude.

If you can use the computer, you can check the spelling.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 12:27 PM

Does anybody even use "kitteh" here? Also, "schadenfreude"? Really? That's not used that often and is an actual, meaningful word.

Oh, and I agree with Tracer's "hipster douchebag" nom. Nom nom nom.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 12:27 PM

'Best. (anything). Ever.'
'Really?'
'owned/pwned'
'OMFG'
'Hitchcockian'

Posted by: C Wrench at June 1, 2010 12:27 PM

figgy: "The hammer is my penis?" That's the first time I've seen that, and I can't use it? Curses!

{{insert witty comment about vaginas and nails}}

Posted by: logar at June 1, 2010 12:27 PM

"Apropos to nothing"
"Because of course it is"

Stop it. Please. Stop it.

Posted by: NEEVVAARRGH at June 1, 2010 12:28 PM

Any and all comments relating to The Human Centipede? Seriously, I will spend the rest of my life trying to erase the very notion from my brain. It's like losing The Game(hahaha) every time I am reminded of it.

Posted by: Samantha at June 1, 2010 12:28 PM

I think "Wow...just wow" should have an exception made for the Fug Girls.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 12:28 PM

I'm tired of these:

- Reporting on someone doing something "because *of course* [she/he] did!" It's just lazy and became so widespread so quickly it was a cliche within 5 days.

- Mentioning something you don't like, then adding: "I'm looking at you, [person who always does the thing I don't like]." Waaaaay overused. Makes me stabby.

Posted by: janetfaust at June 1, 2010 12:30 PM

"teh" and "kitteh" PLEASE. Not cute. Not funny. Just misspellings. Oh, how I loathe deliberate misspellings. Oh, how I loathe people who use these words.

Posted by: esme at June 1, 2010 12:30 PM

BFF. Everything else is okay.

Wait, no. Man-date can be expelled as well.

Posted by: Dr. Lamesauce at June 1, 2010 12:32 PM

I have to agree with banning the "bunk" comment.
No one cares that you are masturbating if it's not in public.

Posted by: Nicole at June 1, 2010 12:32 PM

Another vote for "bunk"/"I'll be in my bunk". Enough already!

Posted by: Scully at June 1, 2010 12:33 PM

DO NOT WANT.

Whomever is saying this (and putting it in caps), stop it. It's annoying.

That is all.

Posted by: scorzi at June 1, 2010 12:34 PM

Squee and Epic kill me. I don't know about Epic's use around here, but I'd like it to go away forever. Someone needs to grant me that wish.

Posted by: vdo86 at June 1, 2010 12:35 PM

"Because of course he/she/it did." We're funnier and more creative than that. And more smarter.

Previously, I would have asked that all people everywhere eliminate the phrase "you people" from all language, but this post contains the nicest use of "you people" that I've ever encountered. It sounds all sincere and sweet.

Posted by: Sbrown at June 1, 2010 12:35 PM

'I, for one' is structurally equivalent to 'in my opinion' and just as redundant/patronising as it being one's opinion is kind of implicit unless your post comes with footnotes.

teh I can live with as its a typing error more than anything

lets make it 'the hammer is my penis' or something else that was a really good gag that is being murdered by overuse

hmmm or just for general phrases- nerd/geekgasm?

Posted by: PyD at June 1, 2010 12:36 PM

Oh, yeah. I've got to agree with "Really?" That's another one I WAY overdo. I hate it about myself.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 12:36 PM

I will second "squee." the overuse of that one makes even more frustrating the fact that I hated it the FIRST time..

Also, more sadly, we should probably declare a moratorium on "because of course it is," because of course we should.

Posted by: geekchicohio at June 1, 2010 12:36 PM

'IMHO'
'Geek'
'Fanboy'

Posted by: C Wrench at June 1, 2010 12:42 PM

I don't use a whole lot of the phrases being mentioned here but I must say I find it adorable when some of the Pajibans use them.

I like when Stacey uses "because of course she/he did" or when people use "DO NOT WANT" or "Really?" when it's used at the right time. And if anyone ever uses schadenfreude I'll find that cute too. I don't get what's so bad about "wow, just wow" either. I don't think I'm crotchety enough for this site. I feel left out.

Posted by: becks at June 1, 2010 12:46 PM

Yea, "Bunk" usage is so, "Oh, ha ha." I'm so over it, I'm practically renting the loft above its apartment.

This post has made me laugh and become sad with confusion. The stuff that's being optioned to be banned isn't really that regularly used (insofar as I can tell), but maybe we should yield to figgy's opinion, since she would know.

But then I'm struck with the idea of what people would do in order to get around saying the banned word(s) and I can't help but laugh. When a certain short leashed commenter was banned, comments were getting moderated and then people got creative with their spacing, punctuation, pig latin, etc. Good times.

Maybe we can just have a day where "Gros Mots" are denied. But if you say the bad word you gosta put a quarter in the swear jar or something. I dunno, I'm not the idea man around here.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 12:46 PM

"Stabby". And "stabbity".

[I admit this is mainly a personal vendetta against an unlikeable person on another site (who is bitchy just for the sake of being bitchy and I'm sick of it).]

Also, "eleventy-one" and "squee".

I guess my objection to all of these is that I want you to support your hypothesis with relevant data, not just spew vitriol or exude joy.

I agree that we should also eschew "legendary", "epic", "first", and "this", for similar reasons.

If I offended anyone by using "schadenfreude" (don't remember the context, but I definitely used it recently), I heartily apologize.

Posted by: Dudleys Mom at June 1, 2010 12:47 PM

"wow...just wow"

What? WHAT?!!!! You smug fucker! Say what you want to say. SAY IT. Stop judging me with vaguenesses. You wanna start a fight, start it! Don't hide behind elliptical palindromes!

Posted by: Ian at June 1, 2010 12:48 PM

You're an elliptical palindrome.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 12:51 PM

'Geek'

BLASPHEMER!

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 12:51 PM

I'm gonna third "Hipster Douchebag" and whatever "do not want".

But really my strongest vote goes towards "in my bunk". I hate it so very much.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 12:51 PM

When she's too tired to make personal appearances they send the Palindrome.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 12:52 PM

"Squee" or the "in my Bunk" stuff. I will take either.

Posted by: Forbiddendonut at June 1, 2010 12:52 PM

Some of my best friends are ...racecar

Posted by: Ian at June 1, 2010 12:53 PM

This is a cease and desist order on this nefarious activity. If catchphrases and by-words are eliminated, the internet will cease to exist. Furthermore many automatically generated spambots will be out of work. The internet is built upon memes and catchprases. How are we to gauge the state of our culture if there is not rampant overuse of overpopular phrases? How are we to care for the Noobs and Dweebs who are late in coming to this fine institution? What about the bad spellers and the underdeveloped grammarians?
At this time of writing, a focus group is being formed to develop new and better catchphrases. Some of the prototypes include: Smoom, flort, and Murderwank.
Please, think of the children in India who's job it is to come up with these new catchphrases. And The Kittehs. Think of the Kittehs.
Thank you.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 12:54 PM

I could do without 'jebus' in so many ways.

Posted by: name required at June 1, 2010 12:56 PM

Weird, The Internet. doesn't have a website.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 12:57 PM

None of those named up top are even close to being the most overused (the Jezebel list), except possibly "This." And I still like "Fail." It's succinct, to the point. And clear, unlike a lot of communications.

For here, I think the term "Rainbow Killer" should die. Not because I love Katherine whatsherface, but because it's just dumb. Just use her name or don't speak of her at all. The KH hate is just tired. Get over it already. There's "bitchy," then there's "like a cafeteria table full of 13-year-old girls." A lot of the criticism around here sounds a whole lot more like the latter than the former, especially when it comes to criticizing women. Criticize their work, then stop. No need to point out how fat/old/stupid/shallow you perceive them to be. It's boring.

"Squee" is really annoying, I'll third that one.

And yeah, "Because of course he/she is/did" is lame. And dumb. And lazy.

Posted by: Slash at June 1, 2010 12:57 PM

All these things will wear themselves out anyway; it's in the nature of trendy phrases to do so.

Posted by: name required at June 1, 2010 12:58 PM

I second geekgasm -- please note it in your records.... Oh, wait but you already did, because I bloody typed it {insert a large number of exclamation marks} Which brings us nicely to “I’d like to go on record” (as used on internet) and “duh moment” (as used anywhere, including the internet). Luckily, these malignant tumours of English language barely ever show their ugly faces around here.

*goes away to count blessings*

Posted by: SB at June 1, 2010 12:58 PM

I fucking hate with an unreserved passion "Hipster Douchebag" and "Squee". What the fuck is "squee"???
It sounds like the arrival of a Hipster Douchebags menstrual cycle.

Posted by: peanut at June 1, 2010 1:01 PM

You know what, after thinking about this for a few minutes (and to the credit of intelligent writers and commenters) there really isn't an annoying over-use of words & phrases on Pajiba.

Yeah, some internet memes make there way over here but it is usually used sparingly and ironically. It's not like we get several "do not want" replies in every post. The comments have always been very readable and frequently are more enjoyable then the original post- how many blogs can you say that about?

So I cast the counter-ballot. I don't want to see Stacey or Figgy get muzzled just because other sites can't use their slang responsibly. A few "lolz" or "of *course* they did"s are fine with me.

So while I'm not a fan of "douchbag" or using hipster as a pejorative I can't think of any words or phrases to ban.

... Maybe 'human centipede'

Posted by: Yossarian at June 1, 2010 1:01 PM

"Squee", if it's not already defined, is the sound of the air in front of my fist being compressed in the few nano-seconds before it hits the face of the next person to use that word.

Posted by: pausner at June 1, 2010 1:05 PM

let's stop with the bromance, bromantic thing.

also, people who use the word LITERALLY all the time, LITERALLY!

Posted by: glittergirl at June 1, 2010 1:06 PM

Also, "esprit d'escalier". I hate that. It's embarrassing.

Posted by: pausner at June 1, 2010 1:07 PM

reboot, remake, retread, re-imagining.

however it's pharased it's wearing thin.

Posted by: poorpetebest at June 1, 2010 1:08 PM

I also vote for the removal of either "in my bunk" or "the hammer is my penis". It is getting ridiculous now. At least retire them for a while.

Some more:

Censorship (or any variation): mostly because people act like they don't know what it means, but I also feel like being ironic too.

Hipster (with or without the douchebag): again, nobody really knows what it means. And to be honest, there hasn't been anyone on this site that hasn't somehow fallen under the label. It is pretty much meaningless.

Teh (any misspelled word here, like ghey or intarwebz): Just...just stop it. I want to hurt you so much.

Fanboy: Yeah yeah yeah. We get it. Rebel, rebel. Fuck you. Like "hipster", it is a label lazily thrown around and pretty much everyone has been under at some point.

The "Dustin is gay" meme: Again, fuck you. Sick of it. It is juvenile, and it brings in the assholes (and while the rest of you may love them, I am not a big fan).

Dare I say- Godtopus and/or Murdertank: they have just lost meaning now. Before they were clever turns of phrase, used to describe the often pointless yet remarkably hilarious anger we felt towards the Hollywood system. Now, not so clever anymore.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 1, 2010 1:08 PM

'Fuck'

It's just so 2009.

Posted by: admin at June 1, 2010 1:14 PM

I'll also nominate "banish from Pajiba". Make it retroactive.

Posted by: pausner at June 1, 2010 1:14 PM

What a scrumptious thread! "Wow...just wow!" is possibly the worst phrase for reasons already described above. "This" comes a close second. And "Really?! Really??!!" is simply so precious and grating. "Squee", "DIAF" and "nomnomnom" don't seem to bother me as much because they're trendy, juvenile throwaway comments. Some really talented writers have succumbed to "wow..just wow", "epic", "fanboy", etc. For instance, I've read the latter far more than the former on culled websites such as HuffingtonPost. These phrases need to be eradicated from the lexicon.

They're all reminiscent of "don't go there", "get over it" and my personal favorite: "ya think??"

Grrrrr....YES! Goddammit, I DO think!

Posted by: KLS at June 1, 2010 1:14 PM

I'm not seeing nearly as many votes for "teh" as I would like. I HATE THAT "WORD"!

Posted by: Todd at June 1, 2010 1:15 PM

"as can a certain commenter who has made his return of late, and who is on something of a short leash. Don’t make me upgrade the blocking programs), "

Why is this so oblique? Who was it?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 1:17 PM

So let me get this straight. So far we have banned:
SqueelulzmurdertankinmyopiniontehhipsterdouchebagDustinisgaygheygaaaayreboot
literallyibmybunkwiththehumancentipedejebusgodtopus?

But is Fap still good?

Posted by: Odnon at June 1, 2010 1:17 PM

The Internet needs no website.
It is it's own website.

Posted by: The Internet at June 1, 2010 1:20 PM

Ryan Renyolds abs? No? Sorry, I'll just go now.

Posted by: Mrcreosote at June 1, 2010 1:23 PM

I second "esprit d'escalier". That'll really stick it to the French hand-balling cheaters.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 1, 2010 1:24 PM

I hear these terms everywhere else, but I rarely see "THIS" or "Do not want" on Pajiba. I must not be here enough.

Anyway, I'm all for banning "in my bunk" and "godtopus/murdertank." Frankly, I never liked the Godtopus/Murdertank, and I don't care about who's in the bunk anymore. It's old, it's stupid now, let it die.

Posted by: Brie at June 1, 2010 1:24 PM

Mrs. Julien:

Just think about it. Rhymes with a certain obnoxious character from an MTV reality show.

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 1, 2010 1:25 PM

Mrs. Julien, check the Dictionary (just under the exploding logo @ the top of the page). It's in the Ps.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 1:25 PM

Clearly, The Internet is an impostor, since the original incarnation of the World Wide Websicle was The Internet. (period included). And how could you be your own website without having a website address. That's like when people say shit like, "Those urban outdoorsmen have a home: planet earth." Fuck you, you can't mail somebody a letter to "Planet Earth."

Basically what I'm trying to say is, how am I supposed to bill hobos for "services rendered," when they don't have a mailing box?

And why the fuck can't I say hipster douchebag? Huh? I mean, if I wanna explain why the date I went on the other day was such a fucking waste, how can I properly express that without emphatically stating, "That asshat was such a hipster douchebag?"

I must know the jargon to describe my mess of a life!!!!

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 1:29 PM

The internet doesn't know the correct usage of "its" in the phrase 'It is its own website.'?

INTERNET FAIL!

Booyah!

Posted by: Stacey at June 1, 2010 1:30 PM

Get rid of best._____. ever. Does everyone else hear that in a Valley Girl voice?

Posted by: Brenton at June 1, 2010 1:30 PM

I hate the phrase "hit it out of the park" as short hand reviewer-speak. It isn't used very often here (as opposed to every flippin' post at AICN) but each time I see it, I cringe.

Also, "rainbow killer". Yes, it's 2 words and will be hard to block but the joke is long done.

This is more pre-emptive than anything, but I nominate "Transformers 3" and then whatever the full title becomes. I'm already sick of that fucking movie.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 1, 2010 1:31 PM

Incidentally, going forward I plan to stop using phrases such as "kitteh," "squee," "of course ___ did" and other words and phrases in Pajiba Love and will instead be bringing back "Booyah!"

I hope you're all quite pleased with yourselves.

Posted by: Stacey at June 1, 2010 1:34 PM

Godtopus? Murdertank? Really? Come on. {as I sit here in a Murdertank Tshirt, surrounded by crocheted Godtopuses that I am TOTALLY MAILING SOON!}

I agree that Hipster-Douchebag has run its course. BUNK has lost its comedic effect, to be sure. And Nomnomnom is kinda weird.

Posted by: Lindsey with an 'e' at June 1, 2010 1:35 PM

I'll agree that some of these overused phrases are actually just an attempt by the commenter to use Pajiba-speak and indicate to me that they are a true Pajiba lover ("The hammer is my penis", "bunk", "Murdertank", "Taco Dip", "panda rape"). When I read any of these phrases I think to myself "I'm among friends" and I enjoy that. Panda rape is like a warm blanket to me.

Posted by: becks at June 1, 2010 1:36 PM

Not sure there is anything incidental about you going back to Booyah. But I, fo..., support it.

Damn this is difficult.

Posted by: pausner at June 1, 2010 1:36 PM

godtopus
murdertank
Squee
Epic
bromance
the 'in my bunk' phrase
any reference to The Human Centipede

In fact, most trendy catch words and phrases wear thin very quickly, this thread could be repeated every 6 months.

Posted by: brite at June 1, 2010 1:36 PM

I'm more easygoing than I thought...none of that really bothers me except for maybe "teh". And that's only because I make that typo on a regular basis. But I usually fix it, because typos are annoying.
I think this whole exercise is kind of pointless and bitchy...oooooohhhhhh, bitchy and scathing, I get it.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at June 1, 2010 1:37 PM

Mrs. Julien you make me laugh so hard. I constantly repeat random and unusual phrases to my husband and kids prefaced by "You're such a .... ". Thanks for making me laugh.

Posted by: elsie at June 1, 2010 1:40 PM

If Godtopus or Murdertank die, so does Pajiba. What is wrong with you people?

EPIC FAIL. WORST. INTERNET. EVER.

Posted by: Snath at June 1, 2010 1:42 PM

Tracer Bullet you're my hero.

Kill Hipster! How I loathe the word hipster! smarmy dirty mustached little douchebags with their five dollar coffees throw that word around because they are too culturally brainwashed to realize they are the thing they're raging against. Internet non-persons use it to define people they find to be annoying without having any idea whether or not it's relevant to the situation, and it makes my brain boil. Unless you are talking about some cool cat in a beret in the 1940's than shut the hell up with your Hipster nonsense...

Deep Breath

I'm ok now...I swear.

Oh and "squee", becuase none of you actually read the comic which is it's namesake.

Posted by: Blank at June 1, 2010 1:46 PM

Why was Pookie banned in the first place?

Posted by: ERM at June 1, 2010 1:46 PM

I'm sure AvB and half the 'jibettes will have my head for this one, but I was already on the rampage over the word "awesome" when AWSE reared its short, ugly head. Off with it, I say!

Posted by: Cindy at June 1, 2010 1:49 PM

The Internet is an ever changing, amorphous entity, and so any attempts to confine, localize, or otherwise pin it down are fruitless. Hence the occasional leaving out of punctuation or misuse of possessive nouns to throw you off the scent. It is encouraging to see the previous commenters promulgating proper Internet Usage in the form of niggling Meme usage and Grammar Nazification.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 1:50 PM

HOW ABOUT CAPS IN GENERAL?!! Learn html, gawd.

Posted by: bananapanda at June 1, 2010 1:52 PM

I gave up reading these comments after shamefully acknowledging that I say a great many of these. Then I stopped to think about what a bunch of angry fuckers make up this group. Then I got over it. I shall continue to abuse my right to comment however I so please. So there.

*kiss kiss*

Posted by: Patty O'Green at June 1, 2010 1:53 PM

Please take "Human Centipede" out back and put it out of its misery with a sawed-off shotgun. It's become a one-note joke at this point. And don't forget the double tap. We don't need a zombie version rearing its heads (and asses).

Posted by: swingdude at June 1, 2010 1:55 PM

Incidentally, "panda rape" should never die.

Only one person uses it with any regularity, and she doesn't "consider it rape, since the filthy sluts deserve it, shaking all that two-tone furry ass in [her] face".*

*quoted from the March 2010 deposition of Ling Ling and State of California vs. jM.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 1, 2010 1:56 PM


I hope we never see the end of Panda Rape.

I do agree that Pajiba isn't really the place where you see the most obnoxious phrases repeated endlessly. I don't think I've ever seen a 'wow...just wow' or a 'teh', unless it's an accidental typo. I LOVE 'of course they did' because it's so succint, and I hope that Stacey never stops using it.

But my cold heart warms to see so many votes for 'in my bunk'. I'm sure we're a creative enough bunch to think of a better way to express our dirty selves.

And I'd like to add another one. I don't see this one as often, but whenever I do I vomit in my mouth a little:

"I just came" or "I just [whatever] in my pants"

It's not funny. It's just fucking gross. And not true--at least I certainly hope it isn't. It's just so...lazy. And makes me think of fat people in their underpants sweating and hyperventilating at the mere mention of boobs. Blergh.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 1:56 PM

I always think of Alabama Pink when I read murdertank. I think it would be nice for it to stay.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 1:57 PM

And come on, Godtopus and Murdertank are our emblems. So fuck off with that.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 1:58 PM

figgy, did you say boobs?

*pant pant*

I just came.

Posted by: Snath at June 1, 2010 1:59 PM

Although I agree with her, I have to note: who knew Figgy was such a prude?

Posted by: PaddyDog at June 1, 2010 1:59 PM

"I just came" or "I just [whatever] in my pants"

Do exploding pants count in that too? Because a have a stack of Wranglers 15 deep that are pretty much shreds due to vast and sundry horniness on this site.

I never thought I would say this, but I kinda miss Taco Dip and Scrabble Sex.

Posted by: Vermillion at June 1, 2010 1:59 PM

I'm seriously not a prude (no one would be after 4 years on Pajiba), but you just wouldn't believe how many times I've had to read that. And the very idea just grosses me the fuck out. I think I actually prefer 'in my bunk' to that shit.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 2:03 PM

Sample Comment:
Oh Dustin, you are so ___. I really think you missed the point about _____.
__ __ _______, _____ should ___ __ _ ____. That would make me ____, not like those other _________ who_____ in their _____. Not to mention ____ _______'s ___! They make me ____. _____!!!
I'll be __ __ ____.....

Posted by: Odnon at June 1, 2010 2:03 PM

Don't you dare do away with Godtopus or Murdertank? They are not merely useless internet catchphrases. They are part of our Pajiba culture. Yes, fuckers, we have a culture here.

As for the rest, I have only learned some of this fun lingo in the last 6 months when I began to be assimilated by the Pajiba community on Facebook. Yes, fuckers, we also have a community. So I don't have any that particularly irritate.

I don't know why I keep calling you fuckers. Maybe you should ban that.

Also, I am very squeamish about The Human Centipede. Ugh. You can kill that.

Posted by: lainiefig at June 1, 2010 2:03 PM

ERM, that there is a vat of misery and loss you do not want to open. Let's just say it involved several heads of cabbage, a video of a man fisting a rhino, a missing box of sweaters from the Gap and "Necropedobestiality" and just leave it alone.

Posted by: Tracer Bullet at June 1, 2010 2:03 PM

I don't know why I used a question mark after that first sentence. That's how riled up I am, I guess. I am beyond punctuation today.

Posted by: lainiefig at June 1, 2010 2:04 PM

I'm with the people suggesting getting rid of "squee", "in my pants" and the
"in my bunk" stuff.

I never got the Rainbow Killer thing either. It was the first Pajiba-centric catchphrase I thought of when the list was introduced.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 2:07 PM

If catchphrases and by-words are eliminated, the internet will cease to exist.

w00t! FTW!

No? Too soon?

And another thing ... can we get some standards and practices drones 'round here to police the cliche-ectomy? Because when people say "The f-word."(1) nobody knows what word they f-ing(2) mean, so we are safe from f-ing(3) pollution of our precious bodily fluids. It's about standards. And practices.

1,2,3,4 - My respect for the batshit-creators of South Park has become bigger (longer & uncut.) I am in awe of the count the f-bomb's(4) episode. Counting hard.

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 1, 2010 2:09 PM

the octopus and the tank stay or geep will leave ALL you fuckers and that will be that.


bitches.
GOD, I HATE YOU.

Posted by: gp at June 1, 2010 2:10 PM

I'm pretty sick of the word "douchebag".

Posted by: snapnhiss at June 1, 2010 2:14 PM

I think instead of banning "in my bunk" we should limit it to one use per mention of a hot celebrity. Read the comments before you post it and if it's already there then you can't say it. Fear not furious masturbaters of Pajiba: for every "I'll be in my bunk" we'll just assume there are at least 100 of you "This"-ing it.

Che, I'll support Dustin Fail. It has a ring to it.

Posted by: becks at June 1, 2010 2:21 PM

Deariest, loveliest The Internet.

And yet you let the period return. I am victorious!

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 2:24 PM

I'm with gp. Godtopus and murdertank kind of ARE Pajiba. Anything on a t-shirt should be exempt from banning.

Yes, I can do HTML. I prefer caps. Deal.

Posted by: TylerDFC at June 1, 2010 2:26 PM

Kayanne , as a regular reader of this site, you should know that the period always returns.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 2:27 PM

"Schadenfreude" is a perfectly respectable word that I don't see nearly enough on Pajiba. Oh, and it's always begins with a capital S.

I'm all for some new slang Pajibajargon, however we have to keep Gotopus and the Murdertank.

Posted by: BWeaves at June 1, 2010 2:27 PM

Fear not furious masturbaters of Pajiba: for every "I'll be in my bunk" we'll just assume there are at least 100 of you "This"-ing it..

Heee. (is that as bad as "This."? It probably is, isn't it? Oh, well. Suck it.)

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 2:28 PM

Oh jeez - "..vomit in my mouth a little"??

Thanks for the reminder, figgy,

THAT'S the fucking catchphrase that leaves all the others in the dust. People who "vomit" or "throw up" in their mouths even "a little" could do us all a favor by keeping that to themselves.

Posted by: Bill (Formerly 'Bill') at June 1, 2010 2:32 PM

i realized recently that i use exclamation marks way too often. it's an embarrassing yet common problem.

so let's be positive and proactive and start using the interrobang!

or shall we call it the quesclamation mark, ‽‽‽

Posted by: glittergirl at June 1, 2010 2:36 PM

I'm with Stacey. Let's also include what you want to bring back into common use.

I am in favor of reinstating "Booyah", "Schwing" and "Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk".

Posted by: branded at June 1, 2010 2:36 PM

People who "vomit" or "throw up" in their mouths even "a little" could do us all a favor by keeping that to themselves.
By swallowing?
I think I just threw up a lot.

Posted by: Odnon. at June 1, 2010 2:36 PM

Maybe not Pajiba centric but... I nominate:
Hella (super dooper)
Cali (for California)
Ossem / Awesome (there's *got* to be a better word
Fuck yeah (yippee!)
FAIL (dumb)
The pervasive usage of text speak/wording in blogs and emails.
--Lern to spl mo fo

And by the way, some of us really arent' "up" on the ways of the
Interwebs and all this smart phone Net coolness. I actually don't
know how to do the html stuff. I don't have premium tv service, don't own an IPod device and work off an ancient pc at home. It's just the way it is and I do what I can to keep up with the cool kids. So I came here. I like your style bay-bee.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at June 1, 2010 2:38 PM

Hehehe...ok I'll definitely keep that in mind. I don't like it very much myself either, but it expressed the sentiment at the moment.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 2:38 PM

already on the rampage over the word "awesome" when AWSE reared its short, ugly head. Off with it, I say!

Wha...?! Cindy, it's like you HATE me!

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 2:41 PM

Did I fall asleep for 10 months and it's really April Fool's Day again?

Ah, well. As my contribution to the discourse, I shall hereby and voluntarily ween myself from using the phrase "horseface hag." Put it out to pasture, euthanize it, SJP it, etc. etc.*

Like I've already retired "velvet rope," fuck y'all.

*--I do, however, reserve the right to use "horseface" and "hag" individually.

Posted by: , at June 1, 2010 2:43 PM

(Squ)ee cummings.
hehehe

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 2:48 PM

He has that effect on me too.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 2:50 PM

Yeah... I'd give a vote to "Hipster Douchebag" going bye-bye. I'm a little tired of "I'll be in my bunk," even though I've said it on occasion. A lot of things people are suggesting are things that I don't see as OVER-used on Pajiba (like "Squee"). Yeah, when they show up, they might be annoying, but they don't show up that often.

Also, never, EVER, get rid of Godtopus and the Murdertank. Those are Pajiba-only ideas and they are sacred. (In my humble opinion, of course.)

As I've said before, I will never ever get tired of the Human Centipede.
Viva la 'pede!

Posted by: MM at June 1, 2010 2:51 PM

I know it not a phrae but the letter 'S' jut make me angry. Oooooo tupid.

Posted by: admin at June 1, 2010 2:51 PM

"Murdertank"? "Godtopus"?
Look, pagans, you might not be aware of the fact that those two words were coined on this very website. Don't like 'em? Well, we'll just fire up the ol' Murdertank, make Godtopus our co-pilot and whip a little of His Righteous Tentacular Wrath on your asses. Capisce?

Posted by: Spender at June 1, 2010 2:52 PM

Since we're at it - Is there a way to have the comments not bleed over
the edges of the frame?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at June 1, 2010 2:59 PM

HUMAN CENTIPEDE. please make it go away.

my 2nd choice would be Godtopus
3rd would be Murdertank

Posted by: EricD at June 1, 2010 3:00 PM

I'm watching you, fuckers.
You're just lucky the Tank's in the shop for liquor replacement therapy.

Posted by: Godtopus. at June 1, 2010 3:03 PM

Well if this thread isn't boring as fuck.

Censorship. Without it who else could we be?

Posted by: DeistBrawler at June 1, 2010 3:04 PM

Dear The Internet.,

Ha! Period jokes.

Wait, were you discussing punctuation or lady periods? Because, I know there are a lot of chicks around here, but I think there are more grammar nazis. Or was it one of them, there new fangled "double entendrays?"

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 3:10 PM

A lot of the most annoying memes are plentiful not here, but on Fark (to name one site I've seen them on). If you're not familiar, whatever, it's not that important. I think Fark skews way more retarded than Pajiba does, so no surprise that retarded catchphrases flourish there. Apparently, there's also some site called 4chan that makes Fark look like the Algonquin Roundtable by comparison and starts (or popularizes) a lot of these stupid memes. But you can't control a meme. It's wildlife, loose on the 'Net. Name where that line came from, and you win my respect.

And I get a kick out of Pookie, but it's your website. If you want to control him/her, that's your biz.

Posted by: Slash at June 1, 2010 3:11 PM

Dustin, you forgot to clarify one other rule: If it's in the Official Pajiba Dictionary then if's off-fucking-limits.

Just so as to not confuse the newbies.

Posted by: Xtreme at June 1, 2010 3:14 PM

Kayanne, it was more of a single entendre.
It's busy here on the internet today, what with all the fires to be put out.
No time to get fancy.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 3:14 PM

If it's in the Official Pajiba Dictionary then if's off-fucking-limits.

Well, having quickly scanned the Dictionary, that would make "I'll be in my bunk," "In Your/My Pants," and "Rainbow Killer aka Skank Cancer" safe. Dunno about that, but if it's so, it's so.

(OH, how I wish the Human Centipede was in the Pajiba Dictionary right now.)

Posted by: MM at June 1, 2010 3:20 PM

The Internet. I was under the impression that you were the one creating (or at the very least, instigating) all of the pop culture fires.

Thanks for the Daniel Craig dude snogging one, by the way. Lies are fun when they're delicious.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 3:31 PM

I create and put out the fires.
Like an arsonist fireman.
Sometimes they just get out of hand.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 3:35 PM

I vote to keep murdertank, godtopus and squee in. The words that keep us on the DHS watch list should never die, and "squee" stays because the first time I visited here I had just finished reading the "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" comics that birthed the phrase.

I'm fully on board with the Human Centipede hate and throwing bunk/in my bunk down the well and/or mineshaft. Time for them to wander off into the night, never to be seen or heard from again. I get it, "bunk" makes us think of Firefly, which makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside and gives us a Filliboner, but enough already. It's tired. Human Centipede was fine the first two times (as was tubgirl, lemonparty and goatse,) but now only serve as a reminder of that time you grossed yourself out so hard that you actually puked a poop.

Let's move on and discover new and wonderful ways to express the tightening/lubrication of our shorts and the horrors we can inflict on one another.

Posted by: Roaddog at June 1, 2010 3:36 PM

Pookie's in the dictionary.

Posted by: becks at June 1, 2010 3:36 PM

And Daniel Craig is always good for one. He's yummy.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 3:37 PM

Yeah, Godtopus and Murdertank are...frankly what made me love this site.

Plus, I have to be this guy... if we ditch Godtopus, does Pinkpus and all it stands for on Pink day go with it?

You cant ban Godtopus. Nuff Said.

And frankly if I cant Murdertank somebody once a day I will for real murder someone once a day and no one wants that.

I say a lot/most of these things...well no...I've never used Bunk and a few others. But I use Kitteh on FB to Jibans, and I use Teh but usually to designate something though I can't currently verbalise what. I will not go so far as to say I use Teh ironically because I dont. I use it purposefully and usually to highlight that what ever follows is a concept made silly by the people who fear it.

Like...Christians being afraid of Teh Gay/Ghey.

So Yeah. I'll shut up other than to say, fack orf, Godtopus and Murdertank stay or I'll murder someone for real..

OH! Can Firefly phrases/quotes/swears be banned?
The shitpile has been off the air for like, five years.
And Battlestar Galactica. Just Cuss! Or Dont! Dont use made up words!

And 'Whedonspeak' the phrase, and whedonspeak, the act of retarding language to make it sound like you're fun and quirky..it has to stop

Posted by: Nadine at June 1, 2010 3:40 PM

Insert clever [rotating topic, depending on what you're too lazy to think of a clever descriptor for] here.

Posted by: name required at June 1, 2010 3:41 PM

I just used fark without knowing it's its own thing.
I used it like if I had a strong cockney accent. Just to let you know

Posted by: Nadine at June 1, 2010 3:46 PM

I'm now nervous to post anything for fear of retribution. Please note that the "squeeziee" of my name is reference to "lemon squeeziee", a pet name rooted deep in my childhood. It is not because I am person who makes the 'squee' noise so often that it is the only thing anyone associates with me.

That said - Human Centipede. Please, for the love of... jeb- I mean, Godto- I mean rainbow kil- AGHGH this is hard. Just make it stop?

Posted by: squeeziee at June 1, 2010 3:46 PM

Wait a second. Are we really voting on what words to censor? How about as soon as we are done we vote on a book to get rid of too?

Incidentally, going forward I plan to stop using phrases such as "kitteh," "squee," "of course ___ did" and other words and phrases in Pajiba Love and will instead be bringing back "Booyah!"

I hope you're all quite pleased with yourselves.

Posted by: Stacey at June 1, 2010 1:34 PM

Nooooo... Using catch phrases in Pajiba Love is a must. I feel like I hear your voice when I read your posts. Okay, maybe not your voice, since I never heard you. But a sexy French voice with a hint of Russian.

Posted by: EricD at June 1, 2010 3:48 PM

I'm with Xtreme, it can't be banned if it's in the Pajiba Dictionary. The abundance of the "BUNK/I'll be in my bunk" phrases could be lessened, but it is unique to this site.

And fuck off with the MurderTank and Godtopus hate. Ban those and Godtopus will take his one eye, fire up the MurderTank and murder you in the face.

I suppose if there is one thing I would ban it is the "Dustin is gay" thing, like Vermillion said. It doesn't seem to bother Dustin, but he's said it does bother his wife. Frankly, if I were Dustin's wife, I'd be a little fucking bothered too. So, please people, have better fucking manners than a 5th grade bully and let's ban that if we're going to ban anything.

Posted by: stardust at June 1, 2010 3:51 PM

And it bugs his boyfriend.
Sorry. It was there. I had to.

Posted by: Odnon. at June 1, 2010 3:54 PM

I hate when you guys say "that's fucking bananas."

I don't know where it started, but I really, really, really don't like it. Fucking bananas this, fucking bananas that - Jesus, you'd think there'd be a little more variety than twenty people posting "LOL Fucking Bananas LOL." Seriously - it makes my pooper hurt.

Pajiba: Hey Gang! Whatshisfrick is gonna be the dude in that flick about the shit!

Random Commenter One: Holy shitballs, that's fucking bananas!

Random Commenter Two: Fucking bananas to the max!

Random Commenter Three: Unbelievable - that director's fucking bananas!

Random Commenter Four: LOL haha fuckbananas FTW!

Skitz: I think that particular actor chews foreskin. Lousy choice...

Random Commenter One: ...

Random Commenter Two: ...

Random Commenter Three: ...

Random Commenter One: Uh, who let the new guy in?

Skitz: What?!

Random Commenter One: Fucking bananas noob.

Every goddam time I come here this happens. Every. Goddam. Time. I've been reading this site for a few years, but because of this recent trend, I've felt forced to visit other sites where I'm not treated like an outsider. I wish I could turn back the hands of time, back when we used to talk about feelings and emotional emotions... I dunno - my two cents, I guess. Sigh...


Posted by: Skitz at June 1, 2010 3:57 PM

Skitz, I swear to Godtopus, I have NEVER seen anyone say anything is fucking bananas.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen but I'v missed it totally...and that makes me a little sad

Posted by: Nadine at June 1, 2010 4:06 PM

"This shit is bananas! B - A - N - A - N - A - S"

-Gwen Stefani

Posted by: MM at June 1, 2010 4:21 PM

I have never used bananas execpt in milkshakes and of course banana splits.
And I do believe "The Banana Splits" was one of the greatest shows Sid and Marty Crofft ever made short of H.R.Pufnstuf.

Posted by: Odnon. at June 1, 2010 4:30 PM

I do hate the colloquial use of "awesome". I always have. At least fucking "rad" didn't last forever.

Posted by: Jay at June 1, 2010 4:32 PM

The Nosek Magic makes "Pajiba Love" a must read feature. Criticize not her style OR her way with teh kittehs. I'll have none of it, I tells ya.

Posted by: Spender at June 1, 2010 4:36 PM

Fuck this.
I'm gonna go checkout the Hannah Montana site.
At least they like teh kittehs there.

Posted by: The Internet. at June 1, 2010 5:05 PM

Just try those coconuts
Those wall-nuts and doughnuts
There ain't many nuts like they
We'll sell you two kinds of red herring,
Dark brown, and ball-bearing
But yes, we have no bananas
We have no bananas today"

Posted by: replica at June 1, 2010 5:10 PM

'lurve' I'm not fond of. It reminds me of someone, so I think it's just me, though.

Posted by: replica at June 1, 2010 5:11 PM

Well, we'll just fire up the ol' Murdertank, make Godtopus our co-pilot and whip a little of His Righteous Tentacular Wrath on your asses. Capisce?

If Godtopus is your co-pilot, you need to change seats.

Seriously. Who else can slalom the Murdertank down Mulholland Drive firing Pajibabies at targets of opportunity while mixing drinks and man-handling - er - mollusk-tentacling a reluctant panda?

Posted by: BierceAmbrose at June 1, 2010 5:15 PM

Someone above commented that 'godtopus' or 'murdertank' (can't remember which) were originally coined by the great AlabamaPink.

Whichever, I must revise my original list in deference to the true 'Pajiaba-isms' that are mutually exclusive to this site's enduring tradition of quality articles and the best damn group of commenters in the webosphere.

We all have traditions, and institutions we fiercely defend - I expect no less from this fine readership of most amazing nutsacks.

Now, as for the others I listed- they're just plain fucked up.

Posted by: C Wrench at June 1, 2010 5:21 PM

Aww, sorry, The Internet. I'll keep paying attention to you! You know I have the attention span of your regular perusers and that means

Wait, why do people hate kittehs?

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 5:23 PM

My vote is in for banning any mention of Human Centipede and any intimation that Dustin is gay. Don't make his wife turn this site around....

I am on board with losing hipster douchebag, because it's totally fucking vague. Find something individual to hate about the person you are dismissing instead of assigning them a meaningless, overused title.

And I would be thrilled if I never had to hear about bile filled mouths or fluid filled undergarments. Not because I'm not a prude, but because you people are lying. If that's all it takes to make you upchuck, pee yourself, or orgasm, I sincerely doubt you'd be willing to mention it. Okay, maybe the orgasm thing would be worth noting, but probably not in public.

Dont use made up words!

You do realize you wrote that phrase in a post supporting both murdertank and godtopus, right? I thank you for that; it made me laugh.

Posted by: Reba at June 1, 2010 6:05 PM

> Since we're at it - Is there a way to have the comments not bleed
over the edges of the frame?
Mrs Julien


Muddafookin Werd to that.
Drives me just... 'bananas'.

Posted by: Ms MoMo at June 1, 2010 6:06 PM

Anything from 4chan. It's not funny. Any of it. Keep your shitty in-jokes to your own websites, I'm really bored of them.

Posted by: Steph at June 1, 2010 6:18 PM

Dont use made up words!

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH! What?! I missed this one initially. Pssh. I make up words ALL THE TIME and I'm not about to stop now.

Posted by: Anna von Beaversmack at June 1, 2010 6:29 PM

I'm done with "Really? Really?!" tied with "FML." I fifty-second the vote that we're all far more creative than this.

I mean, really.

Posted by: Sapphiar at June 1, 2010 7:02 PM

hipster

Posted by: Mick J at June 1, 2010 7:02 PM

I'm done with "Really? Really?!" tied with "FML." I fifty-second the vote that we're all far more creative than this.

*sobs* But I'm really not!

I'll take my Chuck Taylors and Gap jeans and go write in my Moleskin, now. Clearly, I'm not welcome.

Posted by: Kayanne at June 1, 2010 7:11 PM

I thought FTW meant Fuck the World, from that horrible Stephen Dorfffff movie. My friends' quiz night team was C-Rats FTW and I thought they were so nihilistic until I realized they just thought they would win.

Posted by: Brenton at June 1, 2010 7:21 PM

Lookit, stop talking about banning the "bunk" remarks before I have to cut a bitch*. I like referring to my bunk and I am not gonna stop.

I want to see "IMHO" banned. "IMO" is okay, if not great; but godsdamnit there is no such fucking thing as a humble opinion and just stop fucking saying that, okay?

Thanks.


*See what I did there?

Posted by: Jerce at June 1, 2010 7:26 PM

I WILL SET YOUR BUNK ON FIRE AND DANCE AROUND IT IN THE MOONLIGHT.

OK not really.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 7:35 PM

I've just discovered this "Bananas" tomfoolery for myself, and I fully support it for life.

I guess I'm still so touchy about "hipster douchebag" since the Pajiba Music days. God. Every post. EVERY SINGLE POST! Some people just won't quit. I hear it in my sleep sometimes. "NO! I WON'T REVIEW A FUCKING METAL ALBUM! GO AWAY!"

Dark times which I never want anyone else to suffer on this beautiful site.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 1, 2010 7:37 PM

Jerce, I was under the impression the "h" was "honest."

Posted by: ChristianH at June 1, 2010 7:38 PM

BUNK.

Posted by: SaBrina at June 1, 2010 7:58 PM

"... but I digress"

That, and "Ultimately, ... blah blah blah". Stupid "ultimately", it's such a cheap literary device.

Posted by: Michelle at June 1, 2010 8:03 PM

I'll cast another vote for getting rid of 'Because of course it is/he is/she is/they are' - it's just lazy, and every time I see it the extensiveness of the resultant eyeroll gets closer to causing irreperable damage.

Posted by: Dill The Devil at June 1, 2010 8:05 PM

Panda rape is like a warm blanket to me.
Posted by: becks at June 1, 2010 1:36 PM


Whatever expression goes, I vote it gets replaced by this.

Agree with comments that while overused, Murdertank & Godtopus are Pajiba-isms rather than an internet-wide scourge, so they can stay. Similarly “bunk” and “hammer”, while not native are at least localised and part of the identity of the site. It would be nice to see a few more variants, but maybe ridicule would be a better weapon.

I vote hipster. If someone is being a pompous fuck, call them a pompous fuck. Hipster is just lazy, vague, hits innocent targets as well as guilty ones and worst of all, it continually provokes the same pointless argument about it’s definition that distracts from the actual topic of conversation. It’s a thread killer.

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at June 1, 2010 8:06 PM

Oh, and "kthnxbai!" makes me want to throw a kitten under a bus.

Posted by: Michelle at June 1, 2010 8:14 PM

"Conrad"

There's no need for that name to ever be uttered ever. Ever. That cat's just fucking banana's. Buh-fucking-nanas.

Posted by: Skitz at June 1, 2010 8:19 PM

I'm with human centipede. I would like never to be reminded of that again. Ever.

Also...who says "THIS!". I still don't get what that means...

Posted by: Littlejon2001 at June 1, 2010 8:29 PM

I tire of "meh."
I do not tire of "Human Centipede."
I tire of "in the bunk" or whatever. You're not funny; that scene was funny.
I'm really fucking tired of "baynis." Especially since Michael Bay's Penis's recent showing.
I do not tire of "fanboy." Any word/phrase that predates Pajiba does not get ousted.
I do not tire of "hipster." See "fanboy."
I do not tire of "godtopus," though I wouldn't mind seeing it diminish.
I tire of deliberate misspelling of words like "teh" and "kitteh" and should see them burned before God.
I tire of Rainbow Killer and ESPECIALLY Skankcancer or whatever. Really people.

But most of all? "Too soon?"
Yeah. It's too soon. You know that or you wouldn't have asked. Asshole.

Posted by: superasente at June 1, 2010 8:33 PM

I don't think we should ban anything. Maybe teh, but that's more of a grammar annoyance for me than an Internet annoyance.

Posted by: dene at June 1, 2010 9:02 PM

I(,for one) really want Skitz to make "bananas" happen.

Posted by: becks at June 1, 2010 9:33 PM

I'm against banning any words. In fact please stop listing the phrases I use every day because it's giving me a complex. I've always suspected that I'm massively uncool, but to have it literally spelled out for me is a bit much.

In fact, I think we should keep all those words and start making up EVEN MORE compulsive memes. I've been trying to start my own Fetch. I'm replacing numbers in everyday conversation with "dickety".

Examples:
"I remember that style was popular back in Nineteen-dickety-seven."
"It was expensive - about three hundred dickety dollars or so."
"It's a small town of about twenty-dickety-thousand."

No reason - I just like the saying "dickety". Unfortunately I have no friends so it's not going anywhere. Hey, The Internet., help a girl out? I hear you're pretty big over in Europe.

Posted by: malechai at June 1, 2010 9:36 PM

I am totes not on board with censorship.

Posted by: Jo 'Mama' Besser at June 1, 2010 9:44 PM

Christ, it's not gonna get you banned off the internet or the site if you use it, so how is it censorship? It's just shit we're tired of hearing.

Freakin' drama queens.

Posted by: figgy at June 1, 2010 10:06 PM

DON'T TAKE MY RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH, YOU FASCIST A-HOLES! LONG LIVE THE GODTOPUS er whatever...

...no, but I agree that comparing this to censorship is retarded.

Posted by: superasente at June 1, 2010 10:09 PM

i haven't even had time to read more than 20% of the comments yet, and still i am intrigued.

one of the things that bothers me about the internet is how fast it spreads things. culture doesn't evolve naturally over time and space, in fact time and space are erased altogether. and what we get is the cheapest, shallowest memes, in a normal Darwinian fashion, that spread the fastest and easiest.

or in other words, in stead of true organisms, we get viruses, instead of flowers we get weeds. again, nothing unnatural or improper as things go, just hideous and uninspiring.

I do enjoy the play of language and phrase that goes on on the internet, but it is sometimes hard to find underneath the deluge of the instantly transmitted language virus. i wish William Burroughs could have lived to see his nightmares come true on the world wide web.

its odd too, because so many people that devote time to web chatter are highly literate, and computer literate(i'm talking all you college educated IT types). I'm neither, and i still fall prey to trying to fit in on my msn chats, using the same phrases, words and --we don't have a word for it, short forms, alphanumeric-typographic combinations that transmit saccharine facsimiles of meaning. in fact, i feel proud and up to the minute when i properly absorb some strange meme and can transmit it to someone, there by verifying that i am in fact normal and intelligble.

its not something we can escape from, it is as natural as foraging for berries in the woods. doesn't mean we have to like it

Posted by: idleprimate at June 1, 2010 10:12 PM

throw my vote in for "in my bunk"

Like the lovely figgy, I tire of seeing it.

Posted by: Kelly at June 1, 2010 10:49 PM

"Conrad"
There's no need for that name to ever be uttered ever. Ever. That cat's just fucking banana's. Buh-fucking-nanas.

Posted by: Skitz at June 1, 2010 8:19 PM

Oh my god, that's the funniest thing I've read all day.

Posted by: ChristianH at June 1, 2010 11:34 PM

This whole thread is bananas.

But "baynis" is the only one of these that actually bothers me. "Bunk" and all that are just part of the community of the site; at least they're not 4chan monstrosities. "Baynis," though, I can't get down with. Don't know why, just can't.

Posted by: Kyle at June 2, 2010 12:14 AM

@malechai

Hot dickety damn!

(How was that?)

Posted by: MM at June 2, 2010 12:24 AM

192 comments??
Wow … just wow.

Posted by: EricD at June 2, 2010 12:45 AM

Skitz!
Skitz, Skitz bo Bitz Banana fanna fo Fitz
Fee fie mo Mitz, Skitz!

Posted by: , at June 2, 2010 1:33 AM

Conrad!
Conrad, Conrad bo Bonrad, Banana fanna fo Fonrad
Fee fie mo Monrad, Conrad!

Posted by: , at June 2, 2010 1:36 AM

I didn't read all of the comments here. About half-way through, I realized I kind of like all the phrases being suggested, due to their brevity and clarity.

So I just stopped and really considered what word I would really rather not ever see again, then I CTRL+Ffed it.

It's not here. "Fag," people. The homophobic "fag" is the only word that really needs eradication, as far as I'm concerned.

I know why it doesn't appear in these comments: you're all a more rather than less enlightened bunch, and can come up with actual insults, shunning the redneckish shorthand for "weak," but did I ever imagine that, you all being so pajiban, would never even think of suggesting it since you've already eradicated it from your own vocabularies? I did not.

...

Mulling it over, I guess "fag" (or its innumerable derivatives) as a word isn't the problem, it's the anti-gay attitude of the internet that has to go, and that's a-whole-nother can of worms, isn't it?

The overuse of "amazing" in podcasts could use some culling, but again, wrong point here.

I'm sorry Pajiba, I really can't think of a single word that I hate enough to call for its censoring. Things could be more sesquipedal, though.

Posted by: Baldo at June 2, 2010 2:48 AM

"Fag" IS a horrific word, and if it were more prevalent on Pajiba, I'd be 100% with you. As it is, I just don't know if it's common enough on this site to warrant its retirement (I don't think the commenters around here tolerate that word's use anyway, so we should be safe from its ugly head 'round these parts).

Posted by: ChristianH at June 2, 2010 3:03 AM

I think the thrust of the thread is less censorious and more about highlighting phrases that have been driven into the ground by overuse. It's not about crushing points of view, just about retiring particular phrases we could do with hearing less.

I'd confidently suggest anyone using "fag" or any other derogatory term for homosexual would not get very far on these pages. I'd be comfortable not banning that one on the grounds that it makes a fuckwit easier to spot

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at June 2, 2010 3:51 AM

Brentom, are you thinking of SFW?
So Fucking What?
Cos I'm a pretty hardcore Dorff Fan and FTW doesn't pop up much.

And now you all know my dutty little secret.

We're not bannign Dutty are we?
Because I love the world Dutty.

Posted by: Nadine at June 2, 2010 4:15 AM

200TH!!!!!eleventyone1111!1!1!!!

Do I hand in my Pajiba credentials now?

Posted by: Squirrelgripper at June 2, 2010 5:14 AM

I haven't read the above, but can I please put in votes for "I love me some [whatever]" and "I want to take [it] behind the middle school and get it pregnant."

Not funny 100000 times later.

Posted by: Sara at June 2, 2010 11:25 AM

MM:
You are scholar and a gentleman/woman. Now carry the dickety banner from this place out into the world and let it proper.

Posted by: malechai at June 2, 2010 12:24 PM

Epic and fail (and especially epic fail) have always bothered me. Someone also mentioned made up words for swearing, such as frack from Battlestar Galactica. I agree, and I'll throw in another: Fookin and/or fookin prawns. I love Battlestar and District 9 was pretty good, but for the love of God just say the real word.

Posted by: Even Stevens at June 2, 2010 4:28 PM

"slow clap"

A not really that clever reference to a lousy cliche in the first place, it's way overused.

Posted by: AmbroseKalifornia at June 2, 2010 6:04 PM

BUNK, PLEASE. Everytime I read it I get all pissy. SO FUCKING OVER IT.

Posted by: jamiepants at June 3, 2010 4:33 PM

No FML? This list fails.

Posted by: faye at June 5, 2010 7:39 PM