Pajiba's 4th Annual Butthole Day: A Celebration of the Word and the People Who Do Butthole Things
By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (50)
It’s Butthole Day! Somebody pop the corks on your butthole and let’s celebrate!
For the unfamiliar, Butthole Day is a random day in November in which we here at Pajiba take a moment to celebrate the word butthole. And if you’re experiencing Butthole Day for the first time, you’re probably wondering why anyone would celebrate such a word. To get to the gist of what makes Butthole such an enormously fun word, do us a favor: Say it. Out loud. In your cubicle. At your office desk. In your classrooms. In the library. In your bed, under the covers. Just say it:
Butthole.
It feels good, doesn’t it?
In fact, scientists have observed that “butthole” is the most satisfying word to say in the English language. Butthole! Studies show that people who say butthole at least 3 times a day live six minutes longer than the average person. It’s true! You can’t argue with science, butthole. It’s such a joyous word to say, either stripped of its meaning completely or in the appropriate context. Butthole.
It’s also fun to write. Try it, in the comments. Butthole! In fact, leave a random butthole on a friend’s Facebook page. Or, better yet, visit our Facebook page and All CAP that bitch: BUTTHOLE. How good does that feel? Do you have a Twitter account? Tweet that shit: Butthole. You don’t have to say anything else. Just: Butthole. The world will understand.
Here’s the Butthole Day mascot.
Say it. Butthole! Say it loud, say it proud! Butthole. B-U-T-T-H-O-L-E. Butthole! Are you sitting near anyone right now? If so, turn to him or her. Tap on her shoulder. Prepare a serious expression. Clear your throat. And then say it like you mean it. BUTTHOLE!
Has anything ever felt so good to say? Yes! Yes! Yes! Butthole!
You got the butthole fever yet? Are you listening to the Butthole Surfers? Do you know how to make your butthole sing!
Do you understand how juvenile this holiday is? And that’s why Butthole Day is celebrated across the world: It’s an opportunity to feel like a 9 year old again. All it takes is one word to transform you, to make you feel decades younger: You cannot say Butthole without feeling joy! Without feeling alive! Liberated! And more than a little silly.
Butthole Day is the shit.
And this year, we have even more reason to celebrate the word! Because there are so many buttholes around us. Take, for instance, NBC: Corporate Buttholes for screwing with our beloved “Community.” What about Brad Pitt? He’s thinking about retiring. That would be a huge blow to buttholes around the world. Brett Ratner? Giant douchebag butthole! What about the butthole who decided to make a Doctor Who movie without Russell T. Davies or Steven Moffat? What a butthole. Hey, did you know that, after filming Syrianna, George Clooney considered suicide? What a butthole move! What about that Herman Cain guy? Talk about a butthole. Am I right? There are buttholes everywhere. You’re probably sitting next to a butthole right now. You should express yourself to them: Butthole.
If it walks like a butt, if it talks like a butt, then chances are, it’s a butthole.
Let it rip, folks. In the comments. On the social media. In your offices. In the streets of Manhattan. Buuuuuuuuuuttttttthooooooooooole!
Get out there and kick some butthole.
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Comments
Posted by: NateS1973 at November 15, 2011 11:35 AM
Butt.....mmmmmm Hendricks..... ***drools distractedly***