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Olivia Wilde, Penelope Cruz and The Dude Will Make You Feel Confused and Excited About Disney Again

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (40)

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In 2007 The Walt Disney Company teamed with photographer Annie Leibovitz to begin a project called The Disney Dream Portraits. The series casts popular modern day figures (actors, musicians, athletes and models) as iconic Disney characters. The newest set of three photos has Penelope Cruz (as Belle from Beauty and the Beast) join Scarlett Johansson’s Cinderella, Rachel Weisz’s Snow White and Jennifer Lopez’s Jasmine in complicating my feelings towards Disney Princesses in general. Two thoughts on Jeff Bridges as the transformed Beast in this photo: a) I really wish they had used whoever digitally enhanced this photo to do Jeff Bridges’ face in Tron and b) am I the only one who thought the Beast was way better looking than his puffy-lipped Prince form? When Belle flips out, I was always like, “I’m right with you, sister!” Except whatever the ten year-old version of that would be.

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This new set also introduces the first villains of the series. Here’s Queen Latifah looking badass and bodacious as the Sea Witch Ursula from The Little Mermaid.

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And, finally, representing Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs are Miss Olivia Wilde (I think you haters really have to resign yourself to her being The Next Thing) as the Evil Queen and Alec Baldwin as the Man in the Magic Mirror (Michael Jackson earworm’d!).

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While I love Alec Baldwin, I think Cate Blanchett’s Oscar bosom would have made a better Magic Mirror…sans mustard stains, of course.

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The Disney Dream Portraits series has been fun so far and for every bizarre misstep (Marc Anthony as Aladdin? A packaged deal with the aptly cast J. Lo, we presume.)

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They do something right. Oh so very right.

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All the landscape portraits (via the lovely people at Slash Film) will open up to a larger format if you click ‘em. I did this, of course, so you could ogle Alec Baldwin to your heart’s content.

Joanna Robinson still thinks Cate Blanchett’s Oscar dress is a nightmare, but will concede that if anyone could carry it off, it would be our Cate.









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Comments

Stop trying to make Olivia Wilde happen. She's never going to happen!

Posted by: Dorothy Snarker at March 4, 2011 10:07 AM

You're damn right the Beast was hotter in his animal form than he was as a human. The artists made him look too much like Jesus, and the difference in voice timbres makes it seem, at least to me, as though the Beast character really has died and been replaced by some long-haired schmuck.

I probably could have bought into the human prince if he was voiced by Clancy Motherfuckin' Brown, and thus carry over some of the Beast's badassery into the human form.

Posted by: StoatCat at March 4, 2011 10:07 AM

Dorothy Snarker, I may start calling her "The Fetching Olivia Wilde."

Posted by: coveredinbees at March 4, 2011 10:10 AM

Dorothy Snarker, what are you talking about!?! Olvia Wilde is sooo streets ahead.

Posted by: L4NkYb at March 4, 2011 10:11 AM

Did they really need to pay Annie Liebovits the thousands and thousands of dollars for these shoots? It looks to be mostly Photoshopped (not that well, either...The Dude is barely looking at Jeen-yooos).

Posted by: sars at March 4, 2011 10:12 AM

I always thought Godtopus was male, but I'd worship that Cephalotifah in a heartbeat.

Posted by: mswas at March 4, 2011 10:12 AM

I really, really do not understand Jeff Bridges in there at all. I have always really liked these ads. But he seems very out of place with that smile on his face holding up Penelope Cruz.

Posted by: daria at March 4, 2011 10:15 AM

As far as I know, I've never actually seen Olivia Wilde in anything, though she is quite pretty.

That said, is it just me, or is absolutely killing it in that wicked queen shot? She actually looks pretty damn good.

As opposed to that J-Lo/Skeletor mess. Sheesh.

Posted by: The Other Agent Johnson at March 4, 2011 10:16 AM

Of course Godtopus is male. Godtopussy is the female. Right? Am I the only the heretic who thought as such? (This is just like the pronunciation thing all over again.)

And, if you don't get Olivia Wilde, you're streets behind.

Posted by: RobP at March 4, 2011 10:18 AM

Cruz should be so lucky.

Posted by: zeke the pig at March 4, 2011 10:19 AM

Belle probably realized that her prince was fairly generic and boring about a year into their relationship.

One night she likely confessed that she might be a furry, and he kicked her out of the also generic and boring castle, where clocks and spoons never performed musical theatre during dinner.

Beauty and the Beast taught me that life was probably going to be a long series of let-downs.

Posted by: nix at March 4, 2011 10:22 AM

LAME!

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at March 4, 2011 10:24 AM

I'm talking to the Man in the Mirror/ I'm asking him about Reaganing!

Posted by: jM at March 4, 2011 10:28 AM


I want to be all "I'm too cool for this!" but really, I'm just going "SO PRETTY!" like a little girl. I love (most) of these.

Even Olivia Wilde looks badass--she has the eyebrows to work it.

J-Lo, as usual, is just fucking ridiculous.

But Godtopus wept, do I hate Annie Liebowitz. Every single shoot she does looks exactly the same--plastic, pseudo-pre-Raphaelite bullshit.

Posted by: figgy at March 4, 2011 10:32 AM

jM,

Sadly he failed at his "Reaganing" attempt when he suggested the witch make herself ugly and offer Snow White a poison apple.

And he was almost done too.

Posted by: L4NkYb at March 4, 2011 10:41 AM

Subtle (and to an extent even not-so) Photoshop is a part of photography these days. This stuff? There is nothing photography about any of it. It's grotesquely shopped and you'd think someone at Disney, of all places, would have been able to find someone more skilled in digital art than that.

Posted by: Paultera at March 4, 2011 10:46 AM

Olivia Wilde is actually perfect for the Queen. She kind of has an evil, bitchy look with those eyebrows.

Posted by: denesteak at March 4, 2011 10:51 AM

I love stuff like this! I mean, I don't care for Disney for the most part, but you can't beat their marketing department. Awesome.

Posted by: ZombieNurse at March 4, 2011 10:58 AM

Jeff Bridges really is kind of miscast in that picture, but hell, I wouldn't turn him down. Waaay better than the Fabio-looking motherfucker that the Beast turned into.

I really can't stand the Aladdin photo, and not just because Photoshop robbed Marc Anthony of his left cheek. I'm thinking Mila Kunis and Adrien Brody would have been more appropriate.

Posted by: Entragian at March 4, 2011 11:06 AM

I love me some flat-chested Olivia, so why the hell did they photoshop those major bombas onto her, and what the hell is up with that caption, insinuating she's not the fairest of them all? Fail, Disney. Fail.

Posted by: Jos at March 4, 2011 11:13 AM

That photo just proves that Marc Anthony is a controlling vampire. "I have no cultural relevance, but my wife shall not be photographed with a man person that isn't my gray emaciated self!"

Posted by: Julie at March 4, 2011 11:21 AM

No magic carpet could get off the ground carrying J-Lo and her enormous ass.

Posted by: , at March 4, 2011 11:31 AM

I'd like them a lot more if they didn't take the easy 'shopped' way. They look more fake than usual...unless that's what they were going for.If that's the case, congrats.

It's not like they don't have the money to find/build a decent set. And if this was mentioned before, THAN OH WELL! DEAL WITH IT! ITDESERVESTOBEMENTIONEDAGAIN!

...ahem. Sorry. I've been watching 3rd Rock from the Sun this entire week.

Posted by: Candee at March 4, 2011 11:41 AM

I don't know how they pick the people for this, but Penelope Cruz looks so Spanish and Belle is French, and Marion Cotillard is hot, so why Penelope?

Posted by: leuce7 at March 4, 2011 11:57 AM

The Queen Latifah one is COOL.
The others seem odd to me.
I don't understand the why of it.
Alec Baldwin?
J-Lo and Skeletor?
The Dude as the Beast?
What is Disney trying to sell me?

Posted by: Chickaboom at March 4, 2011 12:05 PM

Hey Entragian, I am with you. So with you. He's miscast, but I kind of think I'd like to go back and reboot Beauty and the Beast, starting with casting Bridges as The Beast/Prince and letting that set the tone. That would be a great version sez me.

Posted by: klingonfree at March 4, 2011 12:05 PM

I volunteer to be photoshopped for Maleficent! She's my fave (definitely in a scene with Prince Phillip in ropes).

Did I miss class the day we started using the phrase "streets behind"? Where did that come from?

Posted by: Sara Tonin at March 4, 2011 12:08 PM

Did you guys know that Olivia Wilde grew up in the circus? True story. She was one of the bars that the trapeze artists swung on. It got to be too dangerous for her when they hired a new acrobate who weighed 145 pounds.

Olivia Wilde once had a whirlwind romance with a toothpick. Their relationship ended tragically with the dissapearance of their new-born child, who literally slipped through the doctor's fingers and into a floor-drain. It was never seen again (although witnesses claim it was pretty hard to see to begin with).

Did you guys know that Olivia Wilde has to wear jogging weights on her ankles at all time to keep from being whooshed off the ground with moderate winds? I have photographs that support this but I'm legally prohibited from showing them.

I heard Olivia Wilde broke her arm once but didn't have to have an X-Ray. Something about being able to see the exact shape of her bones with the naked eye .

Posted by: superasente at March 4, 2011 12:25 PM

Don't worry, RobP, I got Olivia Wilde.
Thankfully, there's a shot I can receive at the doctor's office to take care of it.

Posted by: Jim Doggie at March 4, 2011 12:46 PM

While Cate Blanchett was on Mount Olympus, she was getting ready for the Mortal Gala. However, being smitten with her, Zeus crept behind her and spooged all over her back and shoulders. Fortunately Zeus spooges pearls (multi-colored!) and changed her formerly bland Roman Legionnaire tunic into a more stylish piece worthy of presentation.

"Dammit Zeus, I'm going to be late and can't change out of this now. Guess I'll have to go as-is."

Posted by: Recondite at March 4, 2011 1:40 PM

I'm thinking Mila Kunis and Adrien Brody would have been more appropriate.

Ooh, I love this idea!

I also really love the Latifah as Ursula shot. Way cool.

Posted by: Gabs at March 4, 2011 2:26 PM

Sara Tonin,

"Streets ahead" is from Community. Streets behind, I assume, is a morphing of that phrase.

Posted by: L4NkYb at March 4, 2011 4:03 PM

Latifah is dead on as Ursula. The rest are miscast.

Posted by: Jadine at March 4, 2011 4:33 PM

Recondite, what the fuck kind of fan fiction is that?

Posted by: sars at March 4, 2011 5:22 PM

When is Bieber's portrait as Mowgli going to happen?

Posted by: Big Softie at March 4, 2011 6:03 PM

Actually, both "streets behind" and "streets ahead" are directly from Community. Pierce used them both in quick succession in the same scene (bookending Jeff telling him that they weren't going to happen).

It's a complicated joke, to be sure. That's why they gave it to Chevy.

Posted by: RobP at March 4, 2011 6:25 PM

@ Leuce7,

If ethnicity's a problem for you, then what about the more egregious mistake of using two Latinos as Arabs? At least France and Spain are geographical neighbours.

Posted by: Chris JL at March 5, 2011 7:53 AM

I can see The Dude as the Beast. It's better than seeing someone more likening to Prince Adam (the unofficial/official name of the Beast's human form) doing the shoot, because then there'd be more groans, "AWWWW WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?" Plus, it'd be one of those "bad wig" shoots. Actually, that may be awesome.

Queen Latifah = amazing as Ursula. She could've rocked any Disney character, because the woman is gorgeous. She's one of the few women I admire in Hollywood, because she doesn't make her weight an issue in all of her movies or interviews. She's a damn classy lady.

Olivia Wilde nails the Evil Queen's look in physical form only. Alec Baldwin, with all the shit he's done recently, makes for a creepy-ass Mirror. It's more like, "He's climbing in your magic mirrors, snatchin' your predictions up, so you need to hide your kids, hide your Disney, and hide your Basingers, too, because he's creepin' everybody out here."

There's really something that angers me about the J.Lo/Anthony picture. Maybe it's the fact that their costumes are not accurate in the slightest. Maybe it's because I read too many blogs that claim they're not a happy couple, therefore shattering the "whole new world" love thing they're trying to sell (or perfume, I'm not sure which yet). Maybe it's because I'm upset there's no saving grace in the form of a hairy Robin Williams Genie picture (even Whoopi Goldberg would've been hilarious to add to the picture). Who knows. I just don't like it. It's just as out-of-place as Beyonce as Alice in Wonderland with the amazing Lyle Lovett and Oliver Pratt.

Also, it looks like Sarah Palin as Tinkerbell. Just sayin'. Should've linked the entire picture. There's something endearing about Mikhail Baryshnikov as Peter Pan.

Posted by: duckandcover at March 5, 2011 9:41 AM

"am I the only one who thought the Beast was way better looking than his puffy-lipped Prince form?"

No, you and all the furries. What, did you also wanna fuck Simba?

Posted by: Robin at March 6, 2011 3:19 AM

recondite!

iced tea spit on monitor!!!!!! ahahahahahaha!

Posted by: kikz at March 6, 2011 2:54 PM