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Lessons in Parenting: If Your Baby Falls Out of a Stroller, PUT DOWN YOUR F#$@ing Phone

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | September 10, 2012 | Comments ()


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Look: I don't know who Peaches Geldoff is. Isn't she the daughter of someone from Pink Floyd or something? Anyway, she's famous for being famous, I think, which is a circular given in our celebreality-driven culture. She was married to Thomas Cohen, who is a singer who I have never heard of, who is probably also famous for being married to a famous person, who was only famous by virtue of being famous.

Are you following my drift? Because I got lost about a sentence and a half ago. Point is: I don't care who Peaches Geldoff is. What I do care about, however, is her poor parenting decisions. Roll paparazzi photo tape, via The Daily Mail:

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article-2200807-14E2C29A000005DC-201_634x789.jpeg

article-2200807-14E2C544000005DC-896_306x509.jpegarticle-2200807-14E2C77B000005DC-635_306x509.jpeg

Notice in all the images above the placement of the phone.

Now, I have three adorable kids, one of whom I dropped off at his first day of kindergarten this morning (it looked like a scene in a movie where a screaming child was being taken away from his parents by child protection services, and I'm still feeling a little traumatized by it). I don't claim to be an amazing father (although, I am, I really am), but I have a rudimentary understanding of how parenting works. As such, I feel I'm qualified to dispense this advice: IF YOUR CHILD FALLS OUT OF A STROLLER, PUT DOWN YOUR FUCKING PHONE.

What is she doing? Is she dictating the incident? Is there someone on the other end of the line who needs to do know that her baby has just fallen out of a stroller? Unless the goddamn leader of a nearby fascist nation is on the other end of that phone threatening to drop a nuclear bomb on all of London if she hangs up, there's no excuse for not dropping that fucking phone and tending to the child immediately.

Fortunately, the child was OK. How do we know? Because Peaches took to Twitter to blame the construction of sidewalks for her own goddamn stupidity. For all we know, she stopped to tweet her complaint with the London sidewalk system sometime between the time the baby had fallen to the sidewalk and the time she decided to get her sweet ass in gear and pick the baby up.

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Also, what the f**k kind of name is Astala?




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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Becca

    was strapped in and didn't fall out!? who the fuck is she kidding >< and maybe if she wasn't busy chatting on her phone she would have seen that hole a few minutes before she pushed the stroller into it. That poor guy deserves a lot better than this for a mom

  • Jezzer

    "Also, what the f**k kind of name is Astala?"

    She really wanted a dog, but had a baby instead.

  • Pookie

    Rowles, I’m getting a little bit tired of you clutching your pearls and running to your fainting couch every goddamn time some unfortunate shit happens.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Well, when you are spawn from a groupie/model and a rock star... (?) then you become a groupie with a "rock star's" (?) baby, your baby is an accessory and not as important as a phone. Her mother was also the broad that Micheal Hutchence was gaga over. And if I am not mistaken the last person he talked to before him unfortunate demise. It is an interesting and sad story if you have the stomach for it, look it up on findadeath. Paula Yates (Peaches mom) is also deceased, so it must be tough to find a babysitter when you need to talk on the phone.

  • Pookie

    The only difference between this broad and everyone else is that this broad had someone taking pictures of her. I don’t know of a parent that has not had some sort of calamity happen when it came to their children, shit happens. Even if the woman wasn’t on the phone the baby carriage could have still fallen over. All you people out there that are acting like this is the worst shit you’ve ever seen are full of shit. If accidents didn’t happen we wouldn’t need emergency rooms.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    You are SO right. My sister in law would kill me if she knew I told this story all the time... she accidentally let a stroller, with my sleeping nephew, roll off a pier and into a lake. She of course dived in after him, and after he was safe dived back in to retrieve the toys... you don't want to get fined for littering! However... she wasn't talking on a cell phone when this happened.

  • Devin McMusters

    She's a mouth breather. I used to love girls like that, you could get them to do almost anything! (The mouth breathing doesn't get enough oxygen into their brains so everything is kinda cloudy for em!)

  • mograph

    This is the parent of the future, kids.

  • Strand

    I keep trying... but I can't see how the first frame led to the second one. Even if there was a crack, there's no way the pram could just frontflip like that unless she was leaning her weight on it.

  • aryastark

    I used to live around the corner from Peaches and would see her at the train station. She was a horrible little madam back then. This is inappropriately hilarious.

  • One: Astala. Just... Astala. I'm not sure if that's a name or a drunken slur.

    Two: You'd be able to see the walk if you weren't using a buggy the size of a gorram TANK!

  • zomgmouse

    "Astala" is the kind of name you give to a child whose surname is "Vista".

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Or if your middle name is "Vista" and your last name is "Baby".

  • deborah

    I don't know. Maybe, being of the phone helped keep her calm. But whatever happened... Baby is clearly fine. Hope next time one of you (all of you critics) make a parenting mistake, there is no one there to catch it on camera.

  • BB

    He doesn't even look like he was strapped in.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    Well, London sidewalks *are* a trippy, stumbly, unlevel mess, so I'm sure this happens all the time. But I would have put down my phone.

  • lalafromsouthoz

    We had a local mum chatting on the phone while baby in pusher story in Adelaide - that baby ended up drowning in the River Torrens... guess this story is a much better outcome. Mobile phones are major distraction tools. Bring back the wall phone & the chair... why do we all feel it so bloody important to talk on the phone, tweet, status update, text again, again and again all the freakin time?

  • Bellbird

    This isn't really a relevant response, I'm just surprised to see another Adelaidean here!

    I stopped lurking just to make this comment, too. Now back to the shadows..

  • Amazing dating club for people over 50
    Please google"eldermeet"
    Have a good time!!!

  • Michelle peregrino

    definately not strapped in! who is she trying to fool!?

  • Jamie King

    Um, why was the child not strapped into the Pram, if she had been correctly put in, even when the pram went over she would have been safer than rolling to the ground. Glad her phone was so important. Just shows you any idiot can breed.

  • Guest

    Um, why was the child not strapped in, had she been strapped in, at least with the fall she would have been held tight. Just proves that an idiot can breed

  • People don't always know what to do. I hoped she learned, or at least we learned, from her experience. :p

  • Guest

    I would like to know just how long this whole incident lasted. The frames make it seem like she's actively texting for a few seconds while the baby does a headstand.

  • dahlia6

    Let's be real. Isn't the first baby a starter-brat anyway, for celebrities? I mean, hell, so what if she dropped this one. She can buy another.

    My God, I'd love to drop kick this woman in the ovaries, since she obviously don't deserve them.

  • Astala? That there was her FIRST parenting fail.

  • Amy Hernandez

    As I read this article, my daughter was looking over my shoulder. As I explained what the article was about and showed her the pictures, she piped in with, "when I have kids, and I'm pushing them in their stroller while talking on the phone, and MY baby falls out of the stroller..... I'm probably going to break my phone, 'cause I'd drop it SO FAST!!"
    There ya go Peaches.... you officially have less sense than a 9 year old

  • Peaches Geldof is the daughter of Bob Geldof. Bob Geldof was the founder of BandAis/Live Aid. That said, Peaches has a lot of cheek blaming the sidewalks in London for her daughter's fall. Why didn't she strap her daughter in to the stroller in the first place???

  • LOL, it's a son. I know it's hard to tell because of the ridiculous name.

  • Slash

    It is amusing how people who haven't yet mastered reading comprehension are focusing on the "falling" part and not on the "didn't put down or drop her fucking phone as soon as her kid started falling" part. That's what people are criticizing, you goddam retards. Not that the kid fell, but that she made sure one of her two free hands was grasping the phone while her kid fell to the pavement. If your baby is falling, you drop the phone and use both hands to keep the baby from getting hurt. Unlike what this idiot is doing. And it's not just this idiot. I've seen plenty of "moms" yapping on their phone, oblivious, while their kids run into traffic.

  • remarkably, she managed to pick her kid up without throwing her phone away. I know most people cannot do anything else if they are holding a phone, its just too much of a challenge. if this is the worst thing today for people to get their panties in a twist over, its a pretty damned good day in the world

  • blah blah blah blah. There, I summarized your comment for you.

  • kmeghan

    that baby wasn't strapped in at all. He fell out all the damn way!!

  • Did she really tweet that he was STRAPPED in??? Where? On the pavement?

  • Slash

    But yeah, you gotta have priorities. I mean, you can't have unimportant things like driving, walking or your child falling onto the sidewalk disrupt your phone call.

  • Slash

    Eh, even if the kid sustained a mild head injury, it's probably nothing compared to what the influence of his parents will do to him over the course of 18 years.

  • Bodhi

    I know its been said, but I think it bears repeating: Why in the HELL isn't the child strapped in? If he were strapped in & the stroller tipped over, he would remain in the stroller, surrounded by a ton of padding. I'm willing to bet that those hella spendy stollers have as much if not more padding than my off the Babies R Us stroller

  • Give this mom a break. I consider myself a great mom, but there are moments when I've been stuck between running to catch a child, calling for help, and frozen still, it happens to the best and worst moms. Sometimes our brain takes over and does what it would automatically do in a non-emergency so we don't have to think about it. You can tell by the look on her face she was concerned. It is true that baby should have been buckled for safety, but I know each parent out there including myself doesn't take every.single.precaution every.single.time.

  • Rosa

    Sooooooophiiieee!!! haha, I hope she washed sophie..she tends to get dirty quickly....anyway...I wouldve dropped my phone...poor baby

  • cocuh5

    Why wasn't the baby buckled, it's not liek she had the buckle up just to make the baby comfortable for the moment, she had the cover over the buckle and then the baby. Luckly the baby was fine, poor kid got a dumb mama, also if she was paying attention and not on the phone she would of notice that small dip also

  • L.O.V.E.

    I'll give her this: she is actually pushing her own child insted of leaving it up to the nanny, and the baby's feet are covered, and I can apppreciate the multitasking.

    That said, you're not picking up trash here. Put the phone down and get your baby off the sidewalk.

  • YoMama

    Not strapped in. Damn photographers catch everything. Nice parenting peachers

  • she LIES! There is no way that baby was strapped in. She's an idiot.

  • Blue

    Her baby wasn't buckled in. He went arse over tea kettle in that stroller. And i just saw the paparazzi pics to prove it!

  • ,

    Hole? What hole? I don't see a hole in the sidewalk. I see a massive hole between Peaches' ears.

    It could have been worse. She could have been driving a 3,000 pound SUV instead of a pram. (No, I wouldn't want to stand in front of her SUV to see if she yaps on the phone while she drives it.)

  • officially horrified. That child should be removed from her control. And then she (Peaches) should be set before a 21 man firing squad who pelts her with samsung galaxies until she is broken and bloodied. Then someone should shoot her, or at least make sure she cannot pro-create anymore. You knwo what I'm talkin' about: Someone get this doctor a rusty spoon and a speculum. STAT.

  • I'm fairly sure Astala is the kind of name you give a child when your name is Peaches Honeyblossom and your full sisters are named Fifi Trixibelle and Little Pixie, and you have a half-sister named Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Obviously this is a no-holds-barred family when it comes to names. I'm kinda thinking little Astala Dylan Willow got off lightly here.

  • Becca

    LOL true story

  • John W

    Luckily for us the paparazzi was there to capture the moment or the rest of us would have nothing to criticize her about.

  • Socrates_Johnson

    All I can think of is this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Earth to Peaches - you are supposed to be looking where you are going! Especially when you're pushing a pram/stroller. Maybe she should have had that Bluetooth thing in/on, so then she could talk with her hands free.

  • Katherine Farrell

    Seriously. I stop walking to text, its just a safety thing, and when you are incharge of a helpless babies safety, its 1000X more important.

  • jM

    You're gonna have egg on your face when you find out she was on the phone instructing her other baby how to carefully disable a bomb on a bus FULL of babies.

  • Groundloop

    The kids name is Astala. Sadly, this won't be the last time he gets a close up view of some pavement.

  • BarbadoSlim

    I don't know, what kind of phone is it? Babies are replaceable...

  • L.O.V.E.

    Yah, no kidding. Drop your kid on its head and it is no biggy, but try convincing the hospital that you want to turn your two year old in for an upgrade and child protective services pays you a visit. I just wanted one with wifi, geez.

  • Mel

    I think the real problem here is her terrible shoes.

  • finally, the voice of reason :p

  • I don't know what's worse. This dumb woman or the dumb name that she gave her kid. Follow me on Twitter for awful baby names Monday-Friday! @HorridBabyNames

  • Get a less f-ng trendy stroller too, and buckle in your baby. I've never ever seen a stroller tip over on a sidewalk and I used ours on trails in the woods and if they do tip the baby is secured in and safe. If for some reason my child did fall out, i'd drop my phone so fast it shattered. I'm not a perfect parent either but geeze.

  • Spark

    I was thinking the exact same thing. That's a $1000 baby dumper. Horrible design with the kid sitting up so high and smaller wheels with a narrower wheelbase up front. Looks like those little casters up front got stuck, Peaches (who allowed her to breed with a name like that?) pushed harder, the stuck caster turned instead of rolling, and the stroller tumbles over due to the high center of gravity. An attentive mother or better stroller and this never would have happened.

    Normally, from a spill of that height on to concrete, I'd be worried about the little tyke's head. But looking at mom, I don't think there's much in there to hurt.

  • luckily the kid was still in the stroller, so its doubtful he banged hi head on the cement. either way, they are surprisingly durable. my nephews favorite activity seems to be diving onto concrete from heights and nothing slows him down much.

  • Looks like that baby took a pretty strong hit to the head... It's rare you see a photograph of someone re-enacting an event from their infancy with their very own baby.

  • "what the f**k kind of name is Astala?" It might be a common name from some culture other than Anglo-Saxon. Not necessarily as weird as "Apple" or "Bean" ... or "Peaches."

  • Guest

    Word. Still boggling at the "it sounds like a girl's name!" blowback in the tabs when this kid was born. Better tell Attila the Hun, Cousin Ira, all those Russian men with a-suffixed diminutives, and pretty much every guy named Asa that they're doing it wrong. I know D was being arch, but I wouldn't want to be accidentally lumped in with that ignorant, ethnocentric brigade.

    Men with A-names? Hot.

  • Leelee

    Even worse: she immediately took to twitter to blame someone else and then blatantly LIES about having the kids strapped in (which as you can see from the photos, he clearly isn't). What sort of tool is she???

  • alwaysanswerb

    At least she wasn't lying about the big hole in the pavement. Unlike Lindsay "my brakes failed" Lohan

  • Carlito

    Nothing feels better than a bit of shared disdain over a reposted
    tabloid story about someone previously unknown to the majority of
    readers and the ensuing Zapruder-like breakdown of her seemingly terrible parenting. Conjecture and outrage go so well with an early lunch.

  • ERM

    I'm sure if you had paparazzi following you around whenever you were in public, you'd be caught doing something "damning" to your child. Parents make mistakes. I don't see any reason to publicly shame a mother who did not intentionally hurt her child.

    Maybe you can team up with Nancy Grace to do an expose.

  • bimboden

    Correct me if I'm wrong, Dustin, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't damning her because her stroller hit a hole and her baby fell out. That can happen to anyone... The "damning" comes into play when you realize throughout the accident, she doesn't bother to SET HER PHONE DOWN like any decent parent would do, but instead she places in between her shoulder and her ear before picking her child up.

    There's also a slight chance that had she been using two hands to push the pram, it might not have fallen at all, but this is where we can say "we all make mistakes" and move along.

  • i think there may be some over reaction here. when you have a baby, you pick them up 100 times a day and you get used to doing more than one thing at a time--or else you get very little done. the carriage tipped over, she picked up her kid, the whole thing happened while she was on a call--thats the story minus the mob of the righteous.

  • competitivenonfiction

    I kind of feel like you might tuck it next to your shoulder because that's the habit you get into when you need both hands for something and you're talking on the phone. I doubt you'd be really thinking through it all at that moment, rather just running on instinct. If the baby got picked up, wasn't hurt and the mother learned to watch the sidewalk a bit better, I really don't think this is worthy of public scorn.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Not only that, but had the audacity & lack of self-awareness to tweet about it blaming imaginary sidewalk holes.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    If you look closely, there is actually a whole tile missing in the pavement.

  • ,

    Oh, THAT'S the hole?

    Most people who are paying any attention would steer around it, wouldn't they?

  • Jezzer

    I guarantee all her attention was focused on that damn phone call, and not on where she was going.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Dunno. If you have that stroller in front of you, maybe not.

  • mograph

    It depends on how far ahead you're looking. When you're not on the phone.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ah, I see now. Thought it was just a different color. Though you'd think the flip would come when coming out of the dip, unless the stroller was really top heavy.

  • Carlito

    I wouldn't think that because, frankly, it's not worth even close to that level of critical analysis/speculation, if any.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    I don't know what everyone is so upset about. Everyone knows that babies bounce.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Eh, only elves don't.

  • Bedewcrock

    Upgrade to a gnome. Roly-poly.

  • randomhookup

    Damn, there go the plans for my chain of 11 elven bounce houses.

  • Captain_Tuttle

    As do bumbles.

  • diffigrl81

    Whatever, accidents happen, but that kid was NOT strapped in. His feet are touching the pavement.

  • minxy

    I've fallen twice while carrying my son, once on ice in a parking lot and the second time on a dark staircase. Both times I banged up my knees and elbows trying to keep him from hitting the ground. I don't know what she was thinking in those pics, except she might have just panicked. It does look rather damning, though.

  • RudeMorgue

    *sigh* Slow news day ahead.

  • lowercase_ryan

    Can I use the C-word right now? Cause I want to use the C-word.

  • Bert_McGurt

    I think GOB is using it.

  • Luke Anthony Matthews

    This has happend to me, granted I didn't stay on the phone the entire time, but I can't blame the woman for cracks in the pavement. Whether she sucks or not.

  • hasshole

    But we can blame the woman for not watching where she was walking.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Her dad WISHES he was in Pink Floyd. Although I'll grant that Live Aid was a good idea in theory (and gave us one of the greatest Queen performances ever).

  • Pawesl

    Not in Pink Floyd but he did (Bob Geldof) play Pink in The Wall. So Dustin wasn't too far off.

  • i assumed dustin knew exactly who he was and was feigning ignorance to underline a lack of true fame/celebrity. i'm not sure that was fair to geldof, who has been pretty devoted to high profile humanitarian efforts for nearly 30 years. and the boomtown rats weren't too shabby either.

  • Jezzer

    And yet, all humanitarianism aside, he still managed to inflict Peaches Geldof upon the world. This isn't her first asshat headline. It won't be her last.

  • mswas

    In case someone doesn't know what @8da086c86e5c335c0ee1ae71b54663b5:disqus is referring to, here you go: http://youtu.be/eQsM6u0a038

  • Bert_McGurt

    Thanks! Youtube's blocked at the ol' day job, otherwise I'd have linked it.

  • mswas

    DRAT! How about this interview with Freddie's mom?
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cul...

  • Bert_McGurt

    It's all videos, unfortunately. But I'm definitely having a look at that one once I get home!

    Edit: that's a really sweet interview! Didn't realize it wasn't a video.

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