Happy Sunshiny News to Put Some Happy in the New Depths of Despair You Reached Last Night (Also, GIFs)
If you're like me, then, last night, you reached levels of television-induced sadness the likes of which you'd never considered. First, "Community." DON'T EVEN FUCKING GET ME STARTED. Then, "How I Met Your Mother." It was a fantastic episode that did exactly what it set out to do: destroy me emotionally until I was in a piss-myself sadness coma and needed a hug from my mommy. I had to listen to The National to lift my spirits. I considered YouTubing the end of My Girl just to finish the job. I was reminded, yet again, how something that makes me so happy can just pull it away like Lucy and the football. It was almost as bad as that time I watched The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh as an adult and cried for like twenty minutes when, for the first time, I realized how goddamn sad it is. CHRISTOPHER ROBIN IS TOO OLD FOR THEM NOW AND THEY WILL BE ALONE FOREVER IN THE HUNDRED ACRE WOOD WONDERING WHAT THEY DID WRONG, NEVER TO GROW OLD, NEVER TO DIE, YOU GUYS. AND SOMEONE PUT THOMAS J.'S GLASSES ON. HE CAN'T SEE WITHOUT HIS GLASSES.
But we mustn't dwell. Not today. Not when there's still joy to be had in the world.
- Michael J. Fox is ageless and magical and this weekend, he played "Johnny B. Goode" at an event for Parkinson's and it is adorable and awesome.
- The Muppets had their green carpet premiere on Saturday, Miss Piggy looked damn fine.
- Good news, 1999! 2gether might get back...together! Let's all listen and imagine what could be.
- Rob Schneider's getting a TV show. ... How the fuck did that get in here? GET OUT OF MY HAPPY SPACE, SCHNEIDER.
See? Wasn't that happy. Almost makes me forget...forget that face...
Troy! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. Commence the opening of the floodgates.