Everyone In The Pool: A Guide To Surviving Memorial Day Weekend

By Joanna Robinson and Dan Saipher | Miscellaneous | May 28, 2011 |

By Joanna Robinson and Dan Saipher | Miscellaneous | May 28, 2011 |

Don’t Invite The Caddies

Teenaged Girls Are Nothing But Trouble. Avoid Them.

No, Seriously, We Mean It.

Don’t Drink And Dive.

Clean The Pool Regularly.

Lock The Bathroom Door.

Don’t Drink The Beer In The Red Cups.

Cooking Oil And Sunblock Are Not The Same Thing.

Investigate Any And All Mysterious Splashing Noises

If You’re Going To Get Banned From The Pool, Make Sure It’s Worth It.

Read And Obey All Posted Signs.

Dance Parties And Pool Parties Are Not The Same Thing.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Avoid Cramps: Wait at Least an Hour After Eating Before You Go Swimming.

Joanna Robinson and Dan Saipher would like to thank Julie, Darth Corleone, Kballs, branded and Yossarian for their contributions. Have a great holiday weekend and we’ll see you in the deep end.