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Everyone In The Pool: A Guide To Surviving Memorial Day Weekend

By Joanna Robinson and Dan Saipher | Posted Under Miscellaneous | Comments (15)

Phoebe-Cates-Fast-Times-at-Ridgemont-High_1-1024x550.jpeg

Don’t Invite The Caddies
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Teenaged Girls Are Nothing But Trouble. Avoid Them.
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No, Seriously, We Mean It.
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Don’t Drink And Dive.
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Clean The Pool Regularly.
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Lock The Bathroom Door.
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Don’t Drink The Beer In The Red Cups.
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Cooking Oil And Sunblock Are Not The Same Thing.
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Investigate Any And All Mysterious Splashing Noises
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If You’re Going To Get Banned From The Pool, Make Sure It’s Worth It.
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Read And Obey All Posted Signs.
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Dance Parties And Pool Parties Are Not The Same Thing.
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Don’t Be A Bully.
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Avoid Cramps: Wait at Least an Hour After Eating Before You Go Swimming.
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Joanna Robinson and Dan Saipher would like to thank Julie, Darth Corleone, Kballs, branded and Yossarian for their contributions. Have a great holiday weekend and we’ll see you in the deep end.









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Comments

If I call Joanna "Court" and beat logan to the punch will it stop him/her from doing so as well?

Nice article Court!

::lurks and waits::

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 26, 2011 4:04 PM

Did the terrorist just win?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at May 26, 2011 4:05 PM

Swimfan will forever haunt my darkest dreams. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *sob*

Posted by: the_wakeful at May 26, 2011 4:05 PM

hahaha Mrs. Julien

PS: Here's hoping the thing in your pool is not Nessie Jr./Lite/2.0

Posted by: Sara H at May 26, 2011 4:05 PM

Yes. Yes they did, Mrs. J.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at May 26, 2011 4:09 PM

Nicely done. I dug the captions.

Posted by: DarthCorleone at May 26, 2011 4:12 PM

Supernessie

Posted by: Ian at May 26, 2011 4:13 PM

Damn, I was hoping to be the one to beat Logan at calling Joanna "Court". Because it's HIIIIlarious and never ever gets old or stale or fucking stupid.

Posted by: Paultera at May 26, 2011 4:13 PM

The captions are what make this art.

Posted by: Julie at May 26, 2011 4:16 PM

I think I saw a headline over on Yahoo about the the Phoebe Cates pool scene still being hot after all these years. Kinda amazing since she must be a gramma now.

Posted by: logan at May 26, 2011 4:41 PM

Hottest gramma you've ever seen, logan.

Posted by: RobP at May 26, 2011 8:26 PM

Why Court? Did I miss something? I don't see it in the faq (where I learned of Josh Jacksons unfortunate demise)

Posted by: Ender at May 27, 2011 5:54 AM

Love you for including the Sexy Beast image

Posted by: Protoguy at May 27, 2011 9:33 AM

Me too Protoguy! :D

Posted by: Amandahugandkiss at May 28, 2011 3:06 PM

Neve Campbell and Denise Richards look like zombies in that picture.

Posted by: Whorish Mouth at May 31, 2011 7:33 AM