Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | January 13, 2016
Spoilers for The Force Awakens below!
When the Emo Kylo Ren Twitter account emerged, it nailed the hair-tossing, eye-rolling essence of the character so perfectly, it floored us all.
dear diary
today hux and I took a quiz to find our hogwarts houses
he got slytherin
I got hufflepuff the first time but it was a mistake
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 2015But now Emo Kylo may have met his match, in his father. Cause see, Han Solo isn't a regular dad. He's a cool dad.
He makes terrible jokes.
Me: Knock knock
Ben: Who's there
Me: Dook
Ben: Dook who?
Me: Me, Count Dook-who!
It's count Dooku, Ben! #dadjoke #zinger #classic
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 14, 2016Sometimes he only gets as far as the "terrible" part.
No spoilers... don't SPOIL your appetite... there has to be something there!
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 13, 2016And he hasn't totally gotten the hang of this Twitter thing.
Ben how do I do a hashtag?
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 11, 2016hashtag
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 11, 2016Ben I forget where do I put the hashtag#
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 13, 2016Ben how do I do emojicons?
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 12, 2016Seriously, though, these jokes are phenomenal.
I brought Luke a movie to watch after his hand surgery
1st thing he said: What movie did you bring?
1st thing I said: "Cool Hand, Luke!!"
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 13, 2016When Luke lost the fight against Darth Vader on Cloud City I asked if I could "lend a hand"
Luke said ow ow oh god I'm bleeding please help
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 13, 2016Did Darth Maul die by getting sliced in two by a lightsaber?
You'd "half" to ask him yourself!
Seriously Ben I dont remember what happened
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 13, 2016Ben: WHERE IS THE RESISTANCE KEEPING THEIR ARMIES?
Me: IN THEIR SLEEVIES
I think Ben has fallen in with a bad crowd. Can jokes save him?
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 12, 2016As you'd expect, Han's son isn't the biggest fan.
Ben got mad because I told him too many jokes about the Millennium Falcon. I told him to CHILL-ennium Falcon!
#classic! #dadjoke! #haha!
— Dad Joke Han Solo (@dadjokehansolo) January 13, 2016And no, he's not going to stop calling him Ben.
when Darth Vader changed his name i bet they were jerks about it too
people are small like that
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 25, 2015And if you need yet another companion account (perhaps one without any actual companions), Very Lonely Luke is the sad Skywalker you're looking for.
After 20 years of waiting here alone, maybe it's time to admit no one is going to jump out and throw me a surprise birthday party.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 11, 2016If someone ever finds me, I'll have so many stories to tell.
Like that time I stared at the ocean for 20 years.
OK, I only have one story.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 11, 2016My uncle Owen said I would never amount to anything.
Now I'm a hermit on an abandoned planet.
I guess I showed him.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 11, 2016I skipped a rock across the water too far for me to levitate back.
I feel terrible.
He was my best friend.
He had a family.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 8, 2016Luke and Kylo Ren also get into some of the most petulant Twitter feuds.
Kylo Ren has always been drawn to powerful people.
When he was 10, he used to run around his house in a cape.
He said he was Wonder Woman.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 7, 2016Listen up, @KyloR3n.
I dueled with Darth Vader.
I knew Darth Vader.
Darth Vader was a friend of mine.
Kylo Ren, you are no Darth Vader.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 7, 2016@VeryLonelyLuke how. dare. you.
i regret every piggyback ride I ever gave you
there is no way that is a real part of Jedi training anyhow
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) January 7, 2016Sorry I made you give me a piggyback ride, @KyloR3n.
My legs were tired from all those years of carrying the fate of the galaxy on my back.
— Very Lonely Luke (@VeryLonelyLuke) January 7, 2016
