Bloggers Like Little Girls
The hottest trailer of the day is not the one for Iron Man 2, it's the one for The Runaways. And why? Because bloggers are pedophiles. Obviously. The only reason everyone is giving so much attention to the film and its footage is because Dakota Fanning is wearing lingerie in it. Earlier, when Dustin wrote about the trailer, he complained about seeing the teen actress' cleavage. Why did he do this? To make you think he wasn't turned on. (Don't fire me, Dustin, it's not slander if it's a joke, right?)
Okay, so maybe none of these people are really into little girls, but let's not forget one of the main reasons a band like The Runaways was so popular... man, the '70s were lecherous. Not like the '00s.
Here are some other attempted deflections of guilt:
- Dan Hopper at Best Week Ever:
1994, so that makes her....approximately.... hahaha! Just kidding! I wasn't actually doing a birthdate check on Dakota Fanning, I was just doing it as a big ol' josh. Gotcha! You totally thought I was gonna be all, "Dakota Fanning looks hot in the Runaways trailer" but that is the opposite of what I'm gonna do!! I'm gonna NOT SAY she looks COLD in the IRON MAN trailer.
- Paul Tassi at JoBlo.com:
Extra Tidbit: Fifteen is the answer you're looking for.
- Russ Fischer at /Film:
We only get a brief glimpse of the band performing, and they look good. Fanning has Currie's raw, almost dirty sexuality down
- Rodney at The Movie Blog:
Stewart will be joining Dakota Fanning (who I am recently told isn't eight anymore) in a rock biopic of the turbulent story of The Runnaways based on lead singer Cherie Currie's book 'Neon Angel'
- Alex Billington at FirstShowing.net:
We've seen plenty of paparazzi photos for this already, but now check out some actual footage from the film. It's a short teaser, but it's long enough to whet your appetite (and don't spin that the wrong way).
- Kate Spencer at TheFABLife:
Finally we get to see Kristen Stewart's mullet in action! The first Runaways teaser trailer is out, but it doesn't give too much about the film away, other than it being a film about 70's girl power, rock n' roll and Dakota Fanning looking insanely sexy in a feathered wig. (Yes, we feel uncomfortable typing that.)
- Vince Mancini at FilmDrunk:
Joan Jett is lesbian, so not calling it Heavy Metal Lesbians is a huge missed opportunity. I figured there had to have been a movie called Heavy Metal Lesbians already, so I Googled it. I didn't find any DVD titles, but I did get a picture of a girl peeing in another girl's mouth, so there's that.
Also, I think a "South Dakota Fanning" would be a great euphemism for girls going down on each other. Haha, my blog is about movies.
- Meanwhile, Neil Miller at Film School Rejects isn't quotably sketchy, but just look at the photo he chose to use.