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Beauty and the Beast 3-D Review: Because Hollywood Just Couldn’t Resist

By Agent Bedhead | Posted Under Film Reviews | Comments (19)



beauty1.jpg

Sometimes, it feels like I complain about 3-D movies a lot during reviews, but then I realize that most of the 3-D films these days are geared towards children. And since I work most of the kiddie shift around here, that equates to a disproportionate amount of wearing crappy glasses. So it makes sense that, to me, the gimmick has already been wearing thin for at least a few years now. The novelty of an added dimension is over. Now Hollywood, let’s get back to writing some original stories, shall we?

If that isn’t too much to ask …

Of course, today’s selection just happens to be the very worst kind of 3-D offering, which is both the post-production conversion variety and a re-release of an older, semi-classic Disney flick that’s only back in theaters to make a bunch of extra money. In that way, Beauty and the Beast 3-D has much in common with the recent re-release of The Lion King.

Yet I’m willing to focus on the positives for at least a few moments. Back in 1991, the tale of Belle and her titular Beast was the first animated film to receive a Best Picture Oscar nomination. It’s remembered quite fondly and still plays regularly and even on repeat in child-inhabited houses everywhere.

Once again, the story stays the same and will be familiar even amongst those (and I’m sure there’s still a few) who’ve never actually watched Beauty and the Beast in its original form, but here’s a rundown anyway. The Beast (Robby Benson) is a formerly handsome prince who has been transformed into an ugly, hairy monster by a vengeful sorceress. He must stay in that form until he falls in love with a beautiful (in terms of inner self) girl, but the spell shall not be broken unless she loves him in return as well. Enter the gloriously bookish Belle (Paige O’Hara), who stumbles upon the Beast’s castle one day while looking for her errant father. Initially, Belle finds herself as a captive of the Beast, but we all know how the story ends.

Naturally, the tale is quite a charming one and features a supporting cast of likeable domestic objects that just happen to be sentient: Lumiere the candlestick (Jerry Orbach); Cogsworth the clock (David Ogden Stiers); and Mrs. Potts the fetching cockney teapot (Angela Lansbury) are the real runaway stars of the film. The production numbers (in particular, “Be Our Guest”) are still a pleasure, and Belle herself falls along the most “feminist” characters ever put to screen by Disney. The only real letdown is the Beast himself, who isn’t so much a monster as a crotchety bison.

Mostly, watching Beauty and the Beast 3D is merely reliving the original experience, and it isn’t a bad one by any stretch. In fact, any young (or grown) child very rarely has a problem sitting through the same beloved movie countless times. It’s just a shame that the unserviceable post-production 3-D conversion has mucked up the lovely hand-drawn animation of the original film. Indeed, the effect is rather unsettling because the settings and backgrounds are given the extra dimension of depth while Belle and her fellow characters float on top in what still looks like 2-D.

Fortunately, there’s at least something new that’s offered with this re-release; that is, a short called Tangled Ever After that functions as an wedding-oriented followup to Pixar’s 2010 Tangled. Otherwise, if you enjoyed Beauty and the Beast and have absolutely nothing better to do with your time and money, you’ll probably be okay with this 3-D reissue, but it’s not worth a big fuss by any stretch.

Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.









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Comments

Has there been mention of a more definite time frame than "limited engagement" for this? I am going to have to take my girlfriend to see it, but only if it's around for at least two weeks... and I can't imagine Disney wanting less than at least two weeks' worth of guaranteed money.

Posted by: Cody at January 16, 2012 2:28 PM

Nit-pick alert.

Tangled was made by 'Walt Disney Animation Studios'. Same as Bolt.

'Pixar' had nothing to do with it.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at January 16, 2012 2:52 PM

Semi-classic? SEMI-classic?!

Them's is fighten' words in these parts, boy.

Posted by: Blake Shrapnel at January 16, 2012 3:15 PM

'Pixar' had nothing to do with it.

Executive Producer: John Lasseter

Posted by: twig at January 16, 2012 3:31 PM

I have seen this fucking movie LITERALLY over 40 times. Now I am going to have to drop 50 bucks to take my 4 year old daughter to see it at a theater, pay extra for 3D, then watch her tear off the glasses within 20 minutes.

And Disney knows this because they know I love my daughter, and they know my daughter has a Belle dress, and Belle dolls, and Belle, Belle, Belle. My daughter has even replaced her God-given middle name with Belle.

All for a movie that teaches young girls a LIE. Men who are abusive monsters do not turn into charming, handsome, rich dudes with a castle. They remain oafish, belching, murderous Gastons.

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 16, 2012 3:39 PM

Actually I found the 3D to work quite well for this movie, certainly more than a lot of others that have been released.

As for the message, Belle never tried to change the Beast, Belle never even knew about the spell or really anything beyond it being an enchanted castle. And when she was genuinely scared that he would hurt her, she left, and only came back because HE FOUGHT A PACK OF WOLVES to save her. I think that if a guy fought off a pack of wolves to save me I may be willing to give him a second chance.

And yes, I've watched this movie more times than I care to admit.

Posted by: Jessica at January 16, 2012 4:24 PM

My 5 year old daughter saw the commercial for this, shrugged and said, "We've seen that before. Can we stay home instead and watch Pinky and the Brain?"

Yeah, I'm keeping her.

Posted by: ponch at January 16, 2012 4:48 PM

I use antlers in all of my decorating!

Posted by: klingonfree at January 16, 2012 5:00 PM

Shut the f*ck up. I had no idea that was Jerry Orbach as the candlestick.
God I miss that man.

Posted by: JenVegas at January 16, 2012 6:33 PM

"As for the message, Belle never tried to change the Beast."

Bullshit, Jessica. She tried to teach him all kinds of manners and decorum.

As for coming back to the castle after he saved her, she was his HOSTAGE. Can you say "Stockholm Syndrome"?

Actually, its an allegory for modern day douchbaggery. The guy is a dick, girl is done with him, he gets in a fight in her honor, back together they go.

Hmm. Its like Randy Macho Man Savage and Ms. Elizabeth. But I digress...

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 16, 2012 7:16 PM

the stockholme syndrome thing is played out, the real question is, if all the house servants are the furniture of the place, and pretty much everything appears to be sentient, what the hell were they using as furniture before they turned?

Posted by: Ben at January 16, 2012 7:46 PM

O.K., this is my eternal gripe with this cartoon. He has until his 21st birthday to find true love, and the household staff says, "It's been 10 years!" SO, that means he was changed when he was 11 YET the portrait in the west wing that the beast shreds up doesn't show an 11-year-old boy, it shows him as an adult. WHAT UP WITH THAT?!

I know...I have problems.

Posted by: Carmelita at January 16, 2012 8:16 PM

Does anybody else think it's outrageous that the servants were turned into furniture because their master was a jerk? At least he is big and powerful, they were transformed into cups and stuff, and would stay that way unless HE was reformed. Why doesn't anyone care about this injustice!!!!

Posted by: Freller at January 16, 2012 8:17 PM

Ten years go by and Chip doesn't age that whole time. thats fucked up. Or did he have to go through puberty without hands? No wonder the poor bastard got chipped.

I think some of the furniture were servants and some were just furniture. Otherwise, that dude had about 500 servants who turned into fine china alone.

But how is it that the castle is, like 10 miles away, and no one realizes for a decade that the young prince with the absent/dead parents has been turned into a beast.

This fucking movie has more plot holes than that Alcatraz show.

Oh, and Maurice was a punk ass bitch. You know how Belle ends up with a beast? daddy abandonment issues.

And what the fuck is up with parents always being dead in Disney movies?

Posted by: L.O.V.E. at January 16, 2012 9:01 PM

The 3D is completely unnecessary, true. It was such a joy to take my almost 7 year old daughter to see it though. It is one of her most beloved movies, and we had a great time.

Posted by: Jifaner at January 16, 2012 11:20 PM

Ponch, your daughter is a rare gem, for she prefers Pinky and the Brain over this movie. Well done!

Posted by: The Wanderer at January 17, 2012 7:23 AM

When I was a kid, my mother worked in a battered women's shelter. She never could make herself watch this story (long before this particular version, of course). She always taught us (all boys) that abusive shitheads like this guy don't change. This movie encourages girls to "just keep loving him until he comes around."

In the real world, those girls, of course, get killed. Don't teach your girls to listen to this shitty story. Go watch more Pinky and the Brain with Ponch's daughter.

Posted by: Kris at January 20, 2012 12:57 AM

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Posted by: safe hair removal at January 20, 2012 6:21 PM

Every once in awhile I get the urge to take my 4 year old to movies, only to realize our options are limited to crap like this. As much as I'd love for it to be a fun mother/daughter outing, I refuse to subject her to the anti-woman brainwaves Disney films exude and myself to the ubiquitous marketing tactics that accompany their schlock. Glad I stopped by this review before heading to Fandango.

Posted by: eliza at February 3, 2012 3:05 PM