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A Phone Interview with Eric Bana, Who Forgot He Was in the Movie He Was Promoting

By Dustin Rowles | Film Reviews | August 30, 2013 | Comments ()


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Publisher’s Note: The following phone interview with Eric Bana is for a movie called Closed Circuit. It’s clear from the conversation, however, that Bana’s publicist, who arranged the phone interview, did not warn Bana that he was scheduled for an interview.

Bana: Hello?

Pajiba: Hello, Mr. Bana. Thanks for taking time to talk to us about your new movie.

Bana: I’m sorry, but who is this?

Pajiba: My name is Dustin Rowles. I’m an entertainment writer for a site called Pajiba.com.

Bana: OK, Dustin. Do you know that it’s 7 a.m. in Australia?

Pajiba: I apologize. I do, but this is when the studio publicists asked me to call.

Bana: Oh yeah? OK, then. Sorry, mate. What’s this about?

Pajiba: Uh, it’s about the movie you have opening in the United States today.

Bana: I have a movie opening in the United States today?

Pajiba: Yes. It’s called Closed Circuit.

Bana: I don’t think so.

Pajiba: Um, what do you mean?

Bana: I mean, I’ve never heard of that movie.

Pajiba: But you are in it?

Bana: No. I don’t think so, mate.

Pajiba: Yes, I’m sure of it. I’ve seen it. You and Rebecca Hall star in it.

Bana: The actress from The Town?

Pajiba: Yes.

Bana: I like her. She’s very good, but I’ve never met her before.

Pajiba: Actually, you made out with her a number of times in this movie.

Bana: I think I’d remember that.

Pajiba: I would think so, too.

Bana: I think you’ve got the wrong guy.

Pajiba: No, sir. I’m sure it was you. I just saw the movie.

Bana: I don’t know what to tell you, mate. What’s this movie about?

Pajiba: You and Rebecca Hall play British lawyers working independently with the same client, who has been accused of a terrorist attack that killed 120 people.

Bana: Woah!

Pajiba: Only because of the way the British legal system is set up, your and Hall’s character are not allowed to speak to each other. She is privy to certain evidence that is only revealed during a closed court proceedings, while you play the defense attorney responsible for the open court proceedings.

Bana: Sounds unreasonably convoluted.

Pajiba: It kind of is. Anyway, you and Hall’s character — who have a past romantic relationship together — uncover a huge conspiracy that could basically destroy the British government.

Bana: Sorry, mate. That’s not ringing any bells. Is it any good?

Pajiba: Well, that’s the thing. It’s neither good nor bad, really. There are no moments bad enough in the film to leave an impression, and nothing good enough in the movie to stick with you. In fact, I saw it this morning and completely forgot that I’d done so, and returned again tonight to see it for what I thought was the first time. It was only the overwhelming sense of deja vu that tipped me off to the fact that I was watching it again, which I was only able to confirm when I saw a second ticket stub in my pocket.

Bana: Wow, mate. That doesn’t sound very pleasant.

Pajiba: That’s the thing, though. It wasn’t unpleasant, either. It was just really forgettable.

Bana: Sounds like the last few years of my career.

Pajiba: Ha ha! But what about Hanna?

Bana: Oh, the movie with Saoirse Ronan? She was very good.

Pajiba: She was!

Bana: I don’t remember much about my role, to be honest. But that Chemical Brothers soundtrack was bloody outstanding.

Pajiba: It really was!

Bana: I’m sorry, what we’re we talking about?

Pajiba: Closed Circuit.

Bana: Oh right. Yeah, never heard of it.

Pajiba: It’s just so strange because you were the lead in the film.

Bana: I wish I could help you out, brother. What was the name of your outfit again?

Pajiba: Pajiba.

Bana: How do you spell that?

Pajiba: P-A-J-I-B-A.

Bana: I think you’re pronouncing it wrong, mate.

Pajiba: No, no. I’m sure of it. It’s my word.

Bana: Well, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, mate, but you’re pronouncing your own word wrong.

Pajiba: No, I’m not.

Bana: Agree to disagree?

Pajiba: Sure. But can you tell us anything about Closed Circuit?

Bana: I’d really like to help you out, but this is the first I’ve ever heard of it. You say it’s opening in America this weekend?

Pajiba: Yep.

Bana: One of those token releases after the film is released VOD?

Pajiba: No, actually, It’s being released on 870 screens, although I have to admit, I’d never heard of it, either, until I went to see it. Twice.

Bana: Is it doing well at the American box office?

Pajiba: I wouldn’t count on that. I was actually the only person in the screening I remember attending.

Bana: Yikes. Then again, it must be nice to have the movie theater to yourself. You can text your pals and the like.

Pajiba: Well, yeah. But I was also supposed to be reviewing Closed Circuit.

Bana: Doesn’t really sound worth it to me, mate. Forgettable movie that no one is watching, allegedly starring a guy who doesn’t even remember being in the film.

Pajiba: I see your point.

Bana: It’s Labor Day weekend there, right?

Pajiba: It is.

Bana: Why don’t you just advise your readers to do something better with their time this weekend?

Pajiba: Yeah, good advice. Hey, before I let you go, though, can I ask you one last question?

Bana: Shoot.

Pajiba: What do you think of Ben Affleck as Batman?

Bana: Ben Affleck is directing Batman? If he’s looking for someone for the lead, I think I’d be a pretty good fit.

Pajiba: No, no. He’s playing Batman. Zack Snyder is directing.

Bana: Huh, that’s a weird call. I like my idea better.

Pajiba: Come to think of it, so do I. Well, it’s good talking to you, Mr. Bana. Good luck with Closed Circuit.

Bana: Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, mate. Goodbye then.

Pajiba: Goodbye.





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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • rocky

    Expertly trolled. Did you ever see Bana do standup? He's really very, very good.

    This is hilarious.

  • julied

    My daughter looked exactly like Eric Bana when she was a baby. I wonder if he's forgotten that too?

  • Martin Holterman

    At least the first half of that plot description doesn't sound that convoluted. The British system of special advocates can, potentially, lead to all kinds of inconveniences. It only goes off the rails with the "huge conspiracy". British politicians and civil servants are not that competent.

  • Mrs. Julien

    You are totally pronouncing your own word wrong.

    [flees]

  • the dude

    I love the WHOAH, hahahaha, he's amazed at the premise of the movie

  • Batesian

    In that header pic, is Bana marveling at how small ears can be?

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I look forward to watching this, when it becomes available to stream on Netflix, while I do other things.

  • First: It is really weird to read "Pajiba" and "Bana" in bold so close to each other.

    Second: Even Bana knows that "Puh-JIE-Buh" is wrong. When will you accept the truth, Dustin?

  • Fredo

    I refuse to say it similar to "vagina". To me, it will always bee pah-jee-bah!

    /Come at me, Bro

  • Batesian

    You're not alone -- even imaginary Eric Bana agrees. I think Rowles needs a "come to Jesus" moment with his subconscious.

  • Mrs. Julien

    The fact that he even acknowledges the correct pronunciation means he's on the verge. It's his come to John the Baptist moment.

  • Mrs. Julien

    .

  • InternetMagpie

    He sure says "mate" a lot.

  • ScienceGeek

    Bana's a Melbournian of European descent, meaning 'mate' is kinda like punctuation - it acts like a full-stop or exclamation mark that pops by at the end of the sentence, usually without the speaker even noticing. To be fair, a lot of Australians use 'mate' the same way, but some use it more than others. It's like a signal, 'here be your fellow people. Share/argue over your preferred type of football, or otherwise, talk about the V8s'.
    (I say this as a Melbournian of semi-European descent who uses 'mate' a lot more than is really necessary, and specifically chose a wedding date that wouldn't clash with the Bathurst 1000).

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I don't understand what these words mean when placed together in this particular manner.

  • Rocketpilot

    Except when he says "pals", which Australians only do when we're trying to sound American.

  • pajiba

    Eric Bana learned how to speak like an Australian from Crocodile Dundee movies.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Eric Bana facts-- next big thing.

  • Guest

    Aussies apparently do that, not that I've ever met one that did.

  • julied

    MY (female) bank teller called everyone mate, I guess it depends on what part of the country you're from. It's very common where I live.

  • InternetMagpie

    Well, now that you've read this interview, you can at least say you've seen it happen.

  • Guest

    Allegedly happened... The use of "mate" could be considered a red flag.

  • *sigh*

    Why can't he be in better movies? I love him. I think he's beautiful and a great actor and his hair makes kittens weep from joy, and he's been in my Top 5 since forever and just...why? why can't he be in better things?! Why wasn't he in Avengers? Why, god, why?

    Also, unrelated but kind of, can I have his number? I need it for, um, research. And science.

  • Samantha Klein

    I feel your pain, Figgy. Did no-one see Munich? He was incredible. Truth bomb: I liked Lucky You, too.

  • This is hilarious, but you MUST release the audio to prove it. This sounds like a sketch (its amazing if true). I kind of love Bana even more now.

  • foolsage

    Welcome to Pajiba! :)

  • koko temur

    Are you using the sarcasm font? I can't tell when i log on my phone.

  • Fredo

    Eric Bana sounds so nice. Specially for 7 in the morning.

    At least you had the good luck of not having to call him the morning after the Ashes. I'm sure he'd have been in a different mood.

  • Alberto Cox Délano

    Wait, my bad. Got it mixed with the Bathurst thing. Though I reckon the hangovers are similar.

  • Alberto Cox Délano

    And the rest of Australia for that matter.

  • Dan Koelsch

    This is Gold.

  • Maddy

    This is amazeballs

  • Stop that. It's almost as bad as 'full of win/fail.'

  • Maddy

    Sorry!

  • $65530708

    Bana would be a better Batman than Batfleck.

    *Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it..."

  • faxbretscher46ox

    мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт...­ ­ViewMore----------------------...

    I love the WHOAH, hahahaha, he's amazed at the premise of the movie

  • Matt C.

    More importantly, Affleck would be a better Batman director than Snyder.

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