Shia LaBeouf Needs to Calm the F*ck Right Down
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Shia LaBeouf Needs to Calm the F*ck Right Down

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | January 2, 2014 | Comments ()


Such beefy dramz, guys.

Backstory: Shia LaBeouf is insufferable.

Extended backstory: Shia LaBeouf, who is insufferable, recently completely ganked the work of Daniel Clowes for a short film he “wrote” without credit. He then apologized with a similarly plagiarized tweet, then fell into a rabbit hole of plagiarism, a plagiapallooza or plagiapocalypse if you will, which did little to soften the backlash against him. For, you see, he is insufferable.

Like the cool kids do, Beefsticks spent his New Year’s Eve tweeting plagiarized apology after plagiarized apology, “ironically” (insufferably) copying sorries from Rob Ford, Blake Shelton and Lars von Trier, among others. He also hired a skywriter to apologize to Daniel Clowes IN THE SKY like an insufferable person would. Because insufferable.

The two-week jump from Getting Caught to Empty Apology to OMG HAVEN’T I APOLOGIZED ENOUGH, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME, GAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD is one of those things that insufferable people do, reminiscent of your Charlie Sheenses, Chris Brownses and other functional psychopaths. Because, with your famous insufferables, no matter what they did wrong, it is they who are the victims. They did something wrong, they are criticized for the wrongdoing, they are VICTIMS who need HUGS and probably A SERIES OF MEDICATIONS AND EXTENSIVE THERAPIES. Shia LaBeouf stole from someone, so rather than just personally reach out to the guy, take his lumps and call it a day, he writes it in the sky, which, as passive-aggressively whiny gestures go is a most impressively passive aggressive and whiny one, and tweets obsessively as though he is in on the joke and laughing at us. Cool. Laugh at us all you want. You still fucked up you insufferable twat.

Child stars can be the worst. But child stars who grow up to think themselves artists? UGH. The actual insufferable worst.

UPDATE: Several of you have directed me to my new favorite thing, Boofy’s interview with Bleeding Cool. OH THE ART OF IT ALL. My favorite passage:

RJ: Well, Warhol said art is what you can get away with. Gaugin went for “Art is either plagiarism or revolution”. Do you believe that opportunity is still valid, or is it all about plagiarism now?

As for “it wants to be fee” - is that a Freudian slip? Information may want to be free. But should the author be able to demand a fee?

SL: Authorship is censorship
Should God sue me if I paint a river?
Should we give people the death sentence for parking violations-
You’ll not only have less parking violations but less DRIVERS.

God called. *hands over lawsuit* YOU’VE BEEN SERVED. For douching in the third degree.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Rebecca

    I am an addled person bogged down by existence. I have read that some asperbergers children mimick the social behavior of other children. I used to do that too, but my means weren't fitting in, my means were living my reality primarily, thus fitting in/not fitting in becomes 'a thing' . It's a pervasive part of the personality. Child actors can be existential as children. I relate.

  • BlackRabbit

    Well, skywriting is pretty cool and a dying art, what with people looking up less, but it's still kinda douchy.

  • e jerry powell

    A mass tweet of skywriting, perhaps? Or a billboard in Times Square?

  • BlackRabbit

    Skytweet-he keeps flying till he runs out of gas.

  • John W

    The title to this post is cracking me up.

    I picture him running around the street stopping random people and apologizing to them uncontrollably.

  • Uriah_Creep

    YOU’VE BEEN SERVED. For douching in the third degree.


  • googergieger


  • annie

    You almost have to appreciate his ability to maintain such angry sarcasm in the face of being wrong for this amount of time. Almost. And by "appreciate," I mean, want to punch him in the ear for."

  • As someone who went to art school and identifies as an artist, I'd just like to say that artists in general are insufferable. Warhol was particularly insufferable, and it is quite normal for an artist of Shia's age to be going through a "Warhol phase." This douchiness is not particularly original, or special, just well-funded and publicized. I just hope he doesn't get stuck in this phase like Lady Gaga.

  • Armond White is my master now

    Somebody with a name so ridiculous as Shia LaBeouf MUST be an insufferable asshole. So no surprises here.

  • e jerry powell

    So are we calling this neck-and-neck between LaBeouf and Baldwin yet again?

  • kirbyjay

    SL and AB....when douches collide

  • rio

    I think it's official, Shia LaBeouf is Jenny Schecter.

  • e jerry powell

    This time we're putting piranhas in the swimming pool so there's no trace left.

  • rio


  • lowercase_ryan

    It gets worse. Way, way worse.

  • e jerry powell
  • dizzylucy

    Another gem: "The word law is against my principles…"

    OK, so he's cool if we empty his bank accounts, rob his house, and punch him in the face, right? Since he doesn't believe in laws?

    He might have to start believing in them when Clowes justifiable slaps him with a lawsuit.

  • Maddy

    I just felt my brain cells explode

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Boy, the guy can't even differentiate between copyright and intellectual property.

  • mzblackwidow

    please - next time - vomit alert warnings would be good :D

  • JenVegas

    Oh. My. God. My brain just exploded.

  • I. Am. Living for this.

  • Wigamer

    I don't think Shia feels like an artist. I think he knows he's not one and is such an immature douchebag that this is how he's gone about distracting himself from that particular piece of information.

  • Repo

    It's too bad. He was such a delightful kid when he premiered on Project Greenlight Season 2. Respectful, fun, brought his mom everywhere because he loved her so much.

    Then, boom. I never would have guessed he would blossom into such an insufferable twat that I have to actively avoid his films.

    Hollywood, eh?

  • bastich

    I heard that LeBeouf's next film is titled "The Insufferables", which will also star Justin Beiber and Chris Brown, among many, many others.

  • e jerry powell

    Stick Alec Baldwin in there somewhere. It'll be a fun reunion.

  • mzblackwidow

    ...... Miley, Cruise, Franco, Foxx - and still many many others.

  • Jim

    We should keep track of the shooting locations - you know in case we need to deliver fertliz... um, I mean fruit trays. Yes, lovely fruit trays with pineapple and things.

  • Kara

    "child stars who grow up to think themselves artists"

    Yeah, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Claire Danes, Ron Howard, and Michelle Williams. Totally awful and insufferable, amirite?

  • mzblackwidow

    the article doesn't state that ALL child stars grow up to be insufferable twatmuffins. Not all child stars who stay in the industry as adults "think they are artists" either, I imagine. Shia stands out as a pretentious arrogant douche with delusions of his own greatness and very little talent. Anyone disagree?? Anyone?
    I am now going off to kickstart my brain with caffeine, happy because I really wanted to use twatmuffin in a sentence this week. Challenge complete :D

  • JenVegas

    Soleil Moon Frye would have never done us like that.

  • Elisabeth Watson

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    ✮✮✮✮ ✮✮✮✮ 𐀯 ✮✮✮ ✮✮✮✮ ✮✮Then, boom. I never would have guessed he would blossom into such an insufferable twat that I have to actively avoid his films.

  • bastich

    Speaking of insufferable....

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