Playboy: Lindsay Lohan's Last Gasp?
But, for those of you who have goodly and decent hearts and feel sorry for this person, you needn't worry. Lindsay just scored herself nearly a million dollars to pose for Playboy, huzzah! Finally! What nobody's been clamoring for! See all the things you've already seen, just airbrushed beyond the point of animation!
Lindsay will join an elite and elegant history of ladies by doing her spread (pun intended, I think, I don't know, whatever). Stars of stage and screen alike, whose careers were in no way in jeopardy when they posed for the magazine as some last-ditch effort to save a dying ember, or launch themselves to pseudo-relevance. Ladies like...
- Police Academy 5 star and Wayne Gretzky's wife, Janet Jones
- Denise Richards
- LaToya Jackson
- Willa Ford, star of an Anna Nicole Smith biopic and one-sorta-hit-wonder
- Dana Plato
- Corey Feldman's wife
- Kim Kardashian, who is actually too famous and has too much going on right now to pose again. Stew on that one.
- 1995 Drew Barrymore. Let's in no way confuse that with pre- or post-1995 Drew Barrymore.
Oh, Lindsay, you have truly joined the celebrity elite.
All joking aside, let's be real for a minute. It's a goddamn miracle she's doing this well.