In Praise of Utter B*tchery: Madonna, We've Missed You

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | September 13, 2011 | Comments ()

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | September 13, 2011 |

And that's why I'm so pleased Her Madgeness has a movie coming out. See, we haven't heard much from Madonna lately. We've seen, and we've been informed, but she hasn't recently given us any of those completely out of touch, too rich and famous to function word dollops in far too long. And this past week? It's been a goddamn gift from the heavens.

It started so small, and, yet, so grand. With Hydrangea-gate.

"He obviously doesn't knooooo that."

Jesus Christ, I love it.

It got better. Typically, when a celebrity does something unseemly or that in any way makes them look mean or "not someone you want to throw money at, towards and around" they dive into damage control like it's one of their piles and piles of Colombia's finest. Not Madonna.

"She's entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn't want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world," the rep said in a short statement. "No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers."


You're right, you're right. It's so much sweeter when it's rare.

BUT THEN SHE WENT ON. In the best way possible.

And then, yesterday, she gave us more. From The Globe & Mail.

Eight of those volunteers were asked to turn their faces to a wall so that they would not look at the pop-star-turned-movie-director as she made her way to her press conference about the film. One volunteer told the Globe they all dutifully stood with their backs to her as she passed.

I need a cigarette. I need ALL THE cigarettes.

So, cheers to you, Madonna. Your commitment to the art of cuntness is a simply beautiful thing. Please always be you.

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