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Five Actors Painfully Unworthy of Their Status

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | February 3, 2011 | Comments ()

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrity | February 3, 2011 |






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Hollywood is a fascinating place. "Stars" are born seemingly at the whim of some benevolent entertainment world force, totally at random. Ability, talent, hell, even marketing and PR levels, which tend to be the driving force behind most randomly appointed stars (helloo, Blake Lively) can't necessarily be blamed for all of it.

For one reason or another, this tends to be more commonplace with actresses. Perhaps it's easier for the ladies to ride high on the pretty than for their male counterparts, perhaps casting directors give greater leeway to the appearances of male actors, opting instead to cast attractive women at all costs (name ten "Hollywood ugly" actors; now name ten "Hollywood ugly" actresses -- it's not as easy). But for many, particularly the actresses I've included below, even that argument doesn't work. They are no longer known for their work, rather just for being "stars." Being famous is one thing -- anyone can be famous. But the idea of being a Hollywood star -- isn't one's Hollywood-based fame and therefore participation somehow implicit?

Kate Beckinsale
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Kate Beckinsale is very pretty. And that's about it, which may be the problem -- she was better before she was ultra good-looking, in her pre-pretty days of Much Ado About Nothing. Like Renee Zellweger, who frankly should have been on this list (not due to talent, but choices and trajectory), but I didn't have the heart, she appears to have made some inexplicable distinction between looks and talent and is choosing looks, apparently not understanding that the two are unrelated. Unless you're Nicole Kidman and shut your face off.


Jennifer Love Hewitt

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You may not understand this. "Who gives a shiny shit about Jennifer Love Hewitt?" you may ask. But she was just nominated for a Golden goddamn Globe. She keeps getting television work. And as long as that keeps happening, people will keep interviewing her, and when they interview she talks. Have you ever heard Jennifer Love Hewitt talk? Do. Yourself. A. Favor.


The Jessicas, Biel and Alba

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They count as one because they are essentially interchangeable, in skill set, desperation and choice of project. They are classic overreachers, making grand attempts at something better than they can handle, then being sent back to the JV's for more Love Gurus and Chuck and Larrys.

Kate Hudson
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This chick has been given an entire career based on one role and she must be stopped.

Scarlett Johansson
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Scarge's career trajectory is different from that of Kate Hudson. Whereas Kate showed some level of ability in her one great role, Scarlett's was smoke and mirrors trickery. Like January Jones as Betty Draper, it's simple to be vacant and use everything around you to convince viewers this is "acting." By doing absolutely nothing, she was awarded the title of "great actress."

Matthew McConaughey
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See Kate Hudson, replace gender terms.

Channing Tatum
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We already had a perfectly good Josh Hartnett we were barely using; why did we need another one? It's just wasteful.

Gerard Butler
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He seems like he'd grab your ass and slobber all over your face, then stumble into a chair. Some people are into that kind of thing.

Josh Duhamel
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I am convinced he keeps getting cast in things because people think he's Olyphant. It's only when shooting has started that the horrible mistake has been realized, and by then it's too late.

Ashton Kutcher
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You know in that Natalie Portman Walmart movie when she goes into Walmart and just kind of stays there and no one ever notices or kicks her out, but she's definitely living there, using their stuff and kind of ruining everything? That's Ashton Kutcher's career.


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