Pajiba

You do realize that you're talking about someone writing stupid shit on Wikipedia? Wikipedia is the Internet version of a public bathroom. We shouldn't be any more concerned about someone "hacking" Wikipedia than we would be if someone defaced the crude drawings of penises and boobs in the toilet stalls.

Oh crap. I think my account was hacked.

Somewhere out there, a kid is thinking to himself, "maybe if I pick up this gigantic viking's-fiddle thing, and then I make up a name that combines a defunct language and a sporting equipment maker, I too can win a Grammy while not resembling an anal wart and maintaining some musical integrity".

Here's to you, Sanskrit Rawlings. We look forward to your Best New Artist award in 15 years.

I must say that as insufferable as his music is, Bieber himself was quite gracious about his loss.

I'm in love with you a little.

Tweens are functionally retarded. This is fact. I myself went through a Leo and Backstreet Boys phase and they certainly had their share of hormone-driven nutcases ready to set fire to the nearest detractor. We just didn't have Wikipedia in The Olde Times of 1999. At least my tween generation had the satisfaction of growing the hell up (some of us anyway) and enjoying our former floppy-haired fantasy DiCaprio as the ball of acting win he is today.

I would have had more respect for the guys who did this if they changed her name to "Esmerelda Margaret Note Spelling".

OMG. ROTFL!

HA!!1!!

Awld peeple suk!

Beiberfever 4 EVA!

Many many years ago, MTV did a show (TRL, maybe?) during which you could text in your thoughts and some of them would be featured scrolling across the bottom of the screen.

Some sad pathetic little girl texted in her love of Hanson (of Mmmm-Bop "fame"), and whined that her mom won't let her get a tattoo but that as SOON as she turned 18 she would be getting a "Hanson" tattoo.

And that, boys and girls, is why you can't get tattoos until you're a little bit grown up.

This is one of the many, many reasons why I'm glad that Facebook and Twitter (and really, the internet as we know it today) didn't exist when I was in High School.

Because now, the only way I can remember that I was a gigantic fucking fan of the Backstreet Boys (SUCK IT, NSYNC) is that I had a huge poster of them in my room, and I collected their photos in a little binder. And I can laugh at that. But I don't think I could laugh if I looked back on it and thought "Holy shit, I told the ENTIRE WORLD that they could die in a hole because they didn't like Brian, and it's out there for the whole world to remember and there is no way that I can take it back."

In short: I'm glad that shit wasn't permanent as it is for these stupid, stupid kids. It's like the embarrassment of your mom showing baby photos to your friends...except she's showing them to the WORLD.

If that makes any sense.

"(Also, I'm pretty sure Esperanto is the language, but we can ignore that for the continuation of the mini-meme...)"

(It's okay, I won't call you out for under-estimating my powers of sarcasm)

Other considered names:

Ligurian Reebok
Norn British-Knights
Phoenicia Easton
Jersey-Dutch Mizuno

I'm sorry, but Justin Bieber is not news worthy, nor is making a movie about him worthy of anything other then reminding the world that he's a 16 year old hack, who thinks he's hot stuff. Sides. when is he going to admit that he's actually a she and go the way of Lohan?

When people misspell words like retard and genius, it says a lot about them. Specifically when they're all "Im a genious". Sure are, kid. Anyway, I think that Esperanza Spalding is smart enough to not take it too personally. At least I imagine that a girl with her talent is too busy being completely awesome at what she does to even care about Wikipedia. If it were me, I'd be flattered to have "Quesadilla" as my middle name. It means "delicious and great" in Spanish and it's much less embarrassing than most celebrity baby names.

You need to boil that blood for at least 12 minutes before you can make a proper quesadilla.

Figgy, how are you in my brain right now? I would argue vehemently that the Backstreet Boys were far superior to stupid N'Sync. This opinion was largely based on Kevin's eyebrows.
I was such a moron back then. N'Sync was clearly better.

(It's okay, I won't call you out for under-estimating my powers of sarcasm)

(You can call it sarcasm all you want, but we both know the truth.)

Nevertheless!

You chose... wisely.

Who the HELL is making fun of my Hanson tattoo? It fills in the space between my Warrant tattoo and my 2 Live Crew tattoo.

OMG what have I done!!

God, now I feel old. I was already too old when New Kids on the Block came out, much less that Backstreet Boobs or InSink shit. Well, I was a year too old anyway; I do remember having a younger friend who was a huge NKOTB fan.

I'm going to go sit on a rocker on the front porch and yell at passers-by now.

Tut tut! I expect to be compensated for that use of "rad-ass", superasente.

Oh, and it goes like this:

Shirley Manson > Fiona Apple > Sarah MacLachlin > Jewel > Dido > Vitamin C

There is hope. This wonderful, wonderful woman won over that little shit.

I went to great pains this summer to find tolerable Bieber music to play for 1st through 4th graders at a summer camp. Guess what I discovered? Bieber is not the musical anti-Christ. He has passable bland pop music and a good marketing team. The blind Bieber hatred is like kicking Jessica Simpson for her pop music. She was never as possible as Britney or Christina, but her music was no better or worse.

What I'm getting at is this: if you hate Bieber, you have to hate all pop music because the same 20 or so writers make up songs for the same 15 producers who are employed by the same 3 major labels. Bieber is a symptom of bland pop music, not the cause. Get over yourselves and let the kids embarass themselves. They'll learn better eventually if they had any hope of liking decent music.

I knew Bieber was bad news when my 12 yr old cousin (who is almost 6 ft tall but accepted her height gracefully), who always did the dishes without being told and has straight A's and uses her "indoor" voice, who I kept forgetting her actual age because she was so poised and mature, when I teased her about the Bieb's hairdo she stamped her foot, burst into tears and screamed "He's ATTRACTIVE!" and ran to her room crying.

Do we just shake on it, or is there paperwork involved?

I do think that there should be something notarized and filed so as to avoid plausible deniability. Perhaps even something along the lines of video documentation to be attached as well.

I'm hoping against hope in a few years some kid will meet Bieber and catch him sniffing glue in his trailer watching Cinemax or something.

Crying with Dorito crumbs all over his belly, barely able to weep the lyrics to "Say My Name." Empty beer bottles everywhere and an emaciated cat crying from under the bed where it's trapped behind a wall of pornography.

Sweet, sexy Bieber.

Bieber probably doesn't care. He's gonna make millions of his movies and music.

And, in what I'd like to call the "Bradyian Coping Mechanism", he probably went home and motorboated Selena Gomez until he fell asleep. So whatever.

Courtney, you might want to stay away from my sister. She was all about the Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Me? I was always a Zachary Ty Bryan fan, but then he made Tokyo Drift.

Returning to my adult self, I would like to say I had never heard of Esperanza Spalding or heard her songs and I clicked that Youtube link, it was lovely.

Tee-hee.

"-Fergie from The Black Eyed Peas"

Hunh. I didn't know they had Mickey Mouse Club in the early 70's.

Stacy Ferguson aka Fergie was not on MMC. She was however, on Kids Incorporated. She would later join the group Wild Orchid (which JC Chasez had wrote/produced a few songs for).

I like both BSB and NSYNC, but I lean toward the latter. They're both talented, so lets not fight about it okay? Its not 1998. But speaking of dates... Its 2011 and people still get it wrong. Its 'Nsync, NOT N'Sync. The apostrophe is before the N, not after. Remember that please.

Good article Court. As a country music fan I can only say that I don't care. Ozzy Osbourne said it best in that commercial (one of the few things he's said that I could understand) when he said "what's a Bieber?". I have nothing against Esperanza Spalding but I'd never heard of her until the grammys so I can't really have an opinion anyway.