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The 10 Biggest Opening Weekends for a Baseball Movie and The Poor Man's Dane Cook

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Box Office Round-Ups | Comments (20)



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Finally some good box-office news during this desultory September. Four of the best movies of the year (so far) were released (or will be released) this month, and after the first two (Warrior and Drive) disappointed, leave it to Brad Pitt to open the third, Moneyball, with $20 million (the final one, 50/50, opens next weekend). That $20 million may not sound all that impressive, but it was good for the 23rd biggest September opening of all time and, more impressively, it’s the highest-grossing baseball opening weekend of all time, finally knocking the embarrassingly awful The Benchwarmers from that perch.

Here are the 10 best openings ever for a baseball movie.


1. Moneyball: $20 million

2. Benchwarmers: $19.6 million

3. The Rookie: $16 million

4. A League of their Own: $13.7 million

5. For the Love of the Game: $13 million

6. Fever Pitch: $12.4 million

7. Bad News Bears: $11.3 million

8. Hardball: $9.3 million

9. Rooke of the Year: $9 million

10. Angels in the Outfield: $8.9 million

Note that you don’t see two of the best three of all time (I’d add Moneyball among them) in the top 10: Bull Durham opened with $5 million (and made $50 million overall) and Field of Dreams had a $5.4 million opening weekend (and a final tally of $64 million). Only one baseball movie has ever broken $100 million, and that was A League of their Own with $107 million.

Another surprise this weekend was the showing of A Dolphin Tale, which opened half a million less than Moneyball at number three. That’s actually a record, too, for live-action family movies involving animals, besting Eight Below by a $100,000. Not exactly a high bar.

The weekend’s winner, however, was a holdover 17 years in the making. The Lion King, for the second weekend in a row, held the top spot, racking up an additional $22 million to bring its re-release total to $61 million. It’s my understanding that it was only a two-week engagement but that might be extended after another strong showing this weekend.

There were two other openers, both of which debuted softly. Embarrassingly, Taylor Llamautner’s Abduction beat out Jason Statham’s Killer Elite, $11 million to $9 million respectively. That’s right: Llamautner defeated Statham, Clive Owen, and Robert DeNiro, although — as I read somewhere else — it’s hard to get too excited about a Statham film when one is released every other month. I’m not sure if we can completely rule out Llamautner’s post-Twilight career, but the showing of Abduction — given just how much was spent on marketing — certainly doesn’t bode well for the actor. It is yet another disappointment for the Twilight trifecata: The biggest opener from Lautner, Kristen Stewart, and Robert Pattinson so far is the $16 million for Water for Elephants, which had more to do with the popularity of the source material and Reese Witherspoon than it did Pattinson.

Another holdover — the month’s 5th best movie, Contagion — continued to perform well, adding another $8 million to bring its total to $57 million. The month’s best movie, Drive, continued to under-perform, however. It’s made only $21 million after 10 days, but the $15 million film is already profitable. I finally got around to watching another of Nicolas Winding Refn’s films this weekend, Valhalla Rising, and it was exactly as TK described it in his review: Brutal but boring.

Oh, and for the curious, the month’s worst film, Bucky Larson, has fallen out of the top 40 after only two weeks, ending its run at $2.2 million. And not to belabor the point, but there were enough defenders of Nick Swardson to provoke me to watch one of his stand-up specials this weekend just to see if there’s something I was missing. I am not. I didn’t think it was possible to be a poor man’s Dane Cook, but that’s exactly what Swardson is. It’s self-indulgent douchebag humor, the type where you can predict the punchline before he’s even finished the set up. His set reminded me a lot of a joke he told about Taco Bell: Mediocre cat-shit, unless you’re completely drunk.

Finally, I leave you with this, compliments of superasente.

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Comments

'Abduction,' I'm a little mad at it. I knew it would be terrible, but fun terrible, not so much.

They tailored (haha) the movie for him, you'd think they'd play to his strengths. More martial arts, more roundhouse kicks, less crying, LESS closeups. Seriously, the kid has some weird nostrils.

Casting: there's no way Lucius Malfoy and Maria Bello could be his parents. Uggh, he's Sooo dumb. AND his real parents weren't some kind of ethnic either. Dermot Mulroney and the lesbian lawyer from L&O are also super white.

Title: misleading, kid wasn't abducted. It was a weird foster care situation.

I've spent way to much time thinking about this. Though I did enjoy being 'those people' in the theatre.

Posted by: kilmo at September 26, 2011 6:59 AM

Honestly, Pajiba, I'm offering my services as a copy editor, for cheap. Consider it; clearly, you have a desperate need for one.

Posted by: Joey Jo Jo Jr at September 26, 2011 8:49 AM

That's the worst name I ever heard

Posted by: zeke the pig at September 26, 2011 9:26 AM

I really liked Eight Below. Huskies are awesome!

Plus, I was genuinely suprised when the movie wasn't spoiled, by celebrity voices dubbed over the dogs. That was nice!

Posted by: MurderBot at September 26, 2011 9:44 AM

Consider it; clearly, you have a desperate need for one.

You left off the right parenthesis to complete the winky face emotic... great Caesar's ghost, that's a semicolon! Talk about dangling a caret.

Posted by: branded at September 26, 2011 9:47 AM

Nick Swardson...I really liked his Terry character on Reno 911 and I thought I liked his other stuff for some reason. But, I got the same impression you did after watching his stand-up. It's nothing remarkable and a little childish (and not the good kind of childish). I don't know if I agree with bestowing the moniker "The Poor-man's Dane Cook" on a human being, but if the shoe fits...

Posted by: pissant at September 26, 2011 9:57 AM

Nick Swardson's one worthwhile contribution to comedy is his drug addicted manwhore character Terry on Reno 911. That's it. Everything else is either very stupid or very derivative. Even Terry is stupid, but the rest of the cast (and having someone else write the material) makes it work.

Posted by: Robert at September 26, 2011 9:59 AM

the poor man's Dane Cook

That was cold Rowles. Ice cold. "Pluto is not a planet, but a giant ball of ice" cold. But fair.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 26, 2011 10:09 AM

I will say his last Comedy Central special was extremely douchey, which surprised me, because his early specials were much more about being lame than about being a douchebag party guy. Still, I met him at a concert once and he was very polite, something I doubt would be true of Dane Cook.

Posted by: ChristianH at September 26, 2011 10:31 AM

Entertainment Weekly wrote in the box office write up for Water for Elephants that polling at the cinema indicated the majority of moviegoers were there for Patterson.

Posted by: Emma at September 26, 2011 10:46 AM

That poster is great! Poor Llamaface.

Posted by: tamatha at September 26, 2011 10:55 AM

Reese Witherspoon's movie that came out just before-How DO You know-made $48m worldwide during Christmas with no competition. Remember Me which is a depressing story about 9/11 made $57m when it had intense competition from Alice In Wonderland which was destroying the box office and it opened in less cinemas. Robert Pattinson is a much bigger draw than Reese Witherspoon nowadays and the book only sold 3m before Rob signed on for the project and has sold almost 5m after he joined the project.

Posted by: Emma at September 26, 2011 11:16 AM

Wait, there's a rich man's Dane Cook?

Posted by: Jerry at September 26, 2011 1:08 PM

Wait, there's a rich man's Dane Cook?

Posted by: Jerry at September 26, 2011 1:09 PM

Please take Joey Jo Jo Jr up on his offer.

Posted by: Riles at September 26, 2011 2:34 PM

That really did bear repeating.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 26, 2011 2:35 PM

Apologies, Mrs. J. The microwave here interferes with the wireless, so a repeater went through.

But still, a hack comedian with an upscale following?

Posted by: Jerry at September 26, 2011 3:21 PM

The rich man's Dane Cook, is Larry the Cable Guy

Posted by: richmac at September 26, 2011 6:11 PM

ChristianH,

I got the same impression. His first special I saw was pretty funny and less about being fratty and more about, I guess, sillier subjects like lifting a stool to show his grandma how strong he is. Now he's become this massive tool.

Posted by: Alex00 at September 26, 2011 6:50 PM

(It wasn't sarcasm, Jerry. I meant it. The concept is truly horrifying.)

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at September 27, 2011 9:18 AM