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final destination 3.jpg

Your Summertime Reminder That Roller Coasters Are Terrifying Nightmare Machines

By Alyssa Fikse | Social Media | May 29, 2018 |

By Alyssa Fikse | Social Media | May 29, 2018 |

final destination 3.jpg

Baby Mary Elizabeth Winstead knows. She knows that roller coasters are not to be fucked with. Bet you haven’t thought about Final Destination 3 in a while (if ever), right?

Well, you should have kept that garbage movie in your mind to remind yourself that roller coasters are not your friend. Sure, there is a very, very slim chance that you’ll plunge to your untimely death, BUT there is a decent chance that you will get stuck. High in the air. On a metal skeleton. The unsuspecting visitors to Ohio’s Cedar Point had such luck on Monday when a power outage in the park caused a number of machines to shut down for over 45 minutes.

Cedar Point spokesman Tony Clark said in a statement that “the outage was caused by a vehicle accident in which a car struck a power pole. All of the rides that were affected safely came to a stop and all guests are being escorted off.” No one was injured and at least they were stuck on an uphill incline, unlike riders at Universal Studios Japan who got stuck on the tallest loop for two hours earlier this month.

Again, luckily no one was hurt, but Jesus, can you imagine? You just want to kick off your summer with a seemingly innocuous thrill ride and you end up with nightmare fuel for the next few years. So, if you’re one of those brave souls who think these terrifying loop-dee-loos are worth it, I salute you. I will be spending another summer with my feet on solid ground, as God and Fabio intended.

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