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Why Is Amazon Posting About Jizz?

By Chris Revelle | Social Media | December 29, 2023 |

By Chris Revelle | Social Media | December 29, 2023 |

AmazonPrimeSaltburnBoyDinner.jpeg

There’s a webcomic by Alex Krokus that keenly captures an instantly recognizable phenomenon for anyone who spends time on social media, but especially X (FKA Twitter).

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As we can see, the life cycle of a meme occurs when a trend forms (putting pineapples on your head) and it gets popular enough that brands conspicuously follow suit, attempting to act like another person meme-ing and ruining it in the process. An unfortunately commonplace occurrence, this pineapple-head act from corporate brands feels awkward and cringey, like watching an uncanny simulacrum of a person on the internet. The inorganic nature of it all gives you hives!

A recent and fairly remarkable example of this phenomenon has led me to wonder, quite earnestly, why Amazon is posting about jizz.

Amazon Prime is streaming provocative rags-to-riches-flavored thriller Saltburn (maybe you’ve heard of it!) and I can understand wanting the marketing to reflect the film’s fiery and defiantly sexual vibe. I can understand wanting to emphasize the homoeroticism of the movie too; it’s a notable feature. What I can’t understand is trying to imitate the pithy, trolling tone of a Letterboxd review or the more laconic side of Film Twitter.

It’s a real choice to promote your homoerotic thriller/satire by referencing the scene in which the main character drinks the bath water of his beloved with the heavy implication that there are traces of semen in the water. I almost respect the instinct of leading with such a queer-forward vibe, but the fact that it’s an account representing a corporation puts a weird and icky spin on it. Who was the poor media writer paid to represent Amazon Prime’s yas-queen-slay feelings about consuming bathwater with jizz in it as a company? My heart goes out to them. For whatever it’s worth, corporations, no one’s asking you to do this! No one needs Amazon to cover shipping, streaming content, and jizz-consumption. It felt strange to ask why Amazon posted about jizz. Still, it feels even stranger that it’s even remotely necessary to say: if you’re running a corporate social media account and you’re considering posting about human semen, maybe don’t!