The world is a very weird place. This morning I was having trouble loading videos using my standard browser. So I opened a different browser, and headed over to YouTube for what was, as far as my browser was concerned, the first time. I did not care for it. Where were my Seth Meyers videos? That one clip from Shameless that I’ve watched probably two hundred times? The Broadway recording of Rent because I no longer like it enough to buy the album, but, damnit, sometimes I still want to rock out to “Christmas Bells”?
But without question, the weirdest thing was the suggestion the search box tried to give me. I don’t understand a lot of things in the world, but the underbelly of YouTube is probably chief among them. Let’s investigate.
Looking For: “Stephen Colbert”
Found: “Steal Her Man Challenge”
I’m not yet enough of An Old to ridicule the kids these days for their taste in music or their dancing. You do you, kids. But through my confusion at what this video is doing, I have to admit I am thrilled that sleeping is finally considered a hip dance move.
Looking For: “Late Night with Seth Meyers”
Found: “Lance Stewart”
I’ve long been aware that there are “YouTube stars.” They record stuff people do everyday, but for some reason other people want to watch them do it. They also sometimes show you what they bought at the store. OK. But here’s what I really don’t understand. “Lance Stewart” was suggested before “Lady Gaga.”
I’d only recently gotten used to the fact that Lady Gaga was a legitimate thing. Am I going to have to know what a Lance Stewart is now too?
Looking For: “Last Week Tonight”
Found: “Last Christmas Lyrics”
Actually this one I fully understand and enjoy. This pleases me.
Looking For: “Samantha Bee”
Found: “Salad Fingers”
WHAT. THE. SHIT. GUYS?
This is the opposite of Wham! I hate and am confused by everything I’m seeing. I have thus far tried really hard not to judge, but this is where I draw the fucking line. That’s like a Neil Gaiman story if you removed everything of skill and interest, and replaced it with goblin jizz. I am not a fan.
Looking For: “My Brother, My Brother and Me”
Found: “My Brother Sam Is Dead”
Not really as weird as I was afraid/hoped it would be. It’s a woman reading all of the 1974 young adult novel centering on the American Revolution. Which by itself isn’t overly impressive, but does open a new world of random strangers reading me books from my childhood. Now I’m going to have to do a deep dive to find The Dollhouse Murders. If I’m not back in fifteen minutes, don’t come after me. Just save yourself!