You know who’s the worst? Those damn millennials. Always whinging. Whether it’s perennially declining wages, a gutted housing market, or the looming climate catastrophe that threatens to engulf their and their childrens’ futures—those yellow-bellied millennials are incapable of shutting up about their so-called troubles. What a pussy generation, they have no concept of the stiff upper lip, of just rolling up your sleeves and getting on with it. They whine, whine, whine, always blaming someone for something—and on top of that, they have no fun!
Those bloody millennials.
It’s about time someone spoke up and put them in their place. Isn’t that right, Christina Hoff Sommers, American author and philosopher, and resident scholar at the conservative think thank, the American Enterprise Institute (AEI).
What say you, Christina?!
Dear kids: I’m a Baby Boomer. We are getting old. But at least we had sex, drugs and rock & roll. Seems like millennials have moral panics, workshops, and grievance circles. Time to rebel! xxMom— Christina Sommers (@CHSommers) February 15, 2018
Ooh, yeah, that felt good. We haven’t been a naughty enough generation have we, Christina?
But we don’t go down without a fight! Look at this millennial white knight, charging in to put you right:
… Jesus fucking Christ, Eric. ‘Mom’? Really? I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
You guys literally had legal segregation and lynchings. And also cheap housing and college then you proceeded to blow the economy to smithereens, saddling the country with debt from your outsized greed and have the nerve to sit on high horses. Imagine that. https://t.co/uGbJnzjytC— SUPER BOWL CHAMPS! #FLYEAGLESFLY (@brownandbella) February 15, 2018
That’s much better. Thank you, @brownandbella.
But back to Christina! What other wisdoms does she have to hand on down?
Want to close wage gap? Step one: Change your major from feminist dance therapy to electrical engineering. #NationalOffendACollegeStudentDay— Christina Sommers (@CHSommers) November 10, 2015
I think you should go sit over there with Jerry Seinfeld, Christina. You guys might have a lot to talk about.