When traveling on shared transport like a train or a plane, there are common rules of etiquette we all should observe. For better or often worse, we are all trapped together for a window of time. The social contract urges us to do what we can to not make the experience any more unpleasant than need be. And so we use headphones, we stow our carry-on overhead and our coats under our seats. We try not to disturb our neighbors. We keep our hands to ourselves. WE KEEP OUR DAMN PANTS ON! Oh, I’m sorry. Was that not something you’ve ever heard in any discussion of how to behave on mass transit? Well, probably because we assumed that was a f***ing given! BUT APPARENTLY NOT!
Self-proclaimed bookworm Lizzie Thompson shared a disturbing series of photos on Twitter yesterday, revealing the scandalous etiquette of a man who treated the plane like his living room and its passengers like his embarrassed children. While flying from Paris’s Charles de Gaulle Airport to LAX in Los Angeles, Thompson was shocked when the man across the aisle came out of the airplane’s bathroom without his pants on.
The man in the seat across from me has taken HIS PANTS OFF for the flight and is just in his boxers. Flight attendants seem unconcerned. This is going to be a long flight @AirFranceFR #CDG to #LAX pic.twitter.com/Z0EfktDwpD— Lizzie Thompson (@Lizzie_Thompson) February 18, 2019
He returned to his seat wearing boxers as if that is a totally socially acceptable thing to do. And then, he doubled down, shedding another item that is less shocking but grosser.
He has also removed his socks. pic.twitter.com/0cmhtlFxOi— Lizzie Thompson (@Lizzie_Thompson) February 18, 2019
Passengers removing shoes and socks is a pet peeve of mine. I don’t know if YOU can smell your foot funk, but chances are good that I can! AND I will for the next several hours! Beyond that, I generally favor people dressing for comfort on long journeys. But there’s a line. 7-Eleven draws it at “no shirts, no shoes, no service.” Sure, it doesn’t say you’d be denied service for a lack of pants. But again, that’s a goddamn given. Wearing bottoms is just part of being an adult in society. We can’t all just Pooh Bear whenever we want, as that is the path to rudeness and madness.
Look. I understand long flights can be uncomfortable. Waistbands bind. Shoes begin to feel confining. Maybe socks begin to pinch. But a plane is not the place to let it all hang out. We keep our clothes on not so much for our own comfort, but for those of others. So, dude, put on some big boy pants and get over yourself. OR invest in a pair of gym shorts! It’s all the comfort of boxers without the need to make others put up with your bullshit!
And can we address the double-standard elephant in this airplane? Women have been pitched off flights for shorts and leggings that were deemed inappropriate. But somehow this dude thinks he can air out his potentially stinky feet AND risk dangling dong out his thin boxers and we’re all supposed to be super chill!? THESE ARE NOT SHORTS THEY ARE UNDERWEAR! BY DEFINITION THEY SHOULD BE UNDER!
Thompson tweeted updates during the flight, and confoundingly the flight attendant opted out of confronting the underdressed man about his lack of pants.
Update @AirFranceFR - alerted the flight attendant. He offered to move me (which would mean losing my bulkhead legroom) but just shrugged when I suggested he ask the man to put his pants back on.— Lizzie Thompson (@Lizzie_Thompson) February 18, 2019
Eventually, this unidentified pants-hater got cold. So did that mean he slipped back into something more comfortable for his neighbors? No, it did not.
Just landed. 2 hours in he stood up and took 4 mini bottles of wine from the cart. Then he fell asleep. Then 6 hours in he got cold so PUT ON HIS PUFFY JACKET pic.twitter.com/wNFq9L2bkH— Lizzie Thompson (@Lizzie_Thompson) February 18, 2019
If I were Thompson, this would be the point where I’d be looking for hidden cameras assuming this is a prank show. Or just flat out assuming I’d died and gone to The Bad Place.
Finally, his pants went back on. Good news: nothing bonds a group of passengers like a man half naked in your section. Shout out to the flight attendant who slipped me extra wine and did keep checking in to make sure I was good.— Lizzie Thompson (@Lizzie_Thompson) February 18, 2019
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen on a flight?
Header Image Source: Paramount Pictures