Ever since the day I finished the last episode of Gilmore Girls, there has been a Starr’s hollow where Starr’s heart should be. To say that I enjoyed the wonderfully infuriating adventures of Lorelai and Rory and Luke and Rory’s correct boyfriend Logan would be an understatement: the show was equal parts lovely and maddening, like any best friend should be.
When the Netflix revival of the series was confirmed, I was ecstatic. The return of Star’s Hollow was going to fix Starr’s hollow and all would be right with the world. But something was missing for me, like a town square without a gazebo. A question that had no answer that would nag at me like the need for a cup of coffee.
Would the important character return? Would the heart of Gilmore Girls find her way back to the apartment above Luke’s diner?
I’m talking, of course, about April Nardini: Luke’s long lost daughter and the best part about the entire series. Given the number of detractors that April has, I feared she would be lost in the shuffle. But like any true Nardineer, I held on to hope. And in return, hope held on to me.
April Nardini is back, motherfuckers. And I can only hope she brings a trifold board science project about why you’re all a bunch of wrong opinionend assholes with her. “But Joe,” you say, but meaner and in gif form, “April sucks. April pulled Luke and Lorelai apart when they should have been together.”
And of course, the easy argument is that the backend of the series was a terrible, tattered mess, because I’m not sure that the writers who were brought in had ever seen the show before they got to work repositioning Lorelai with Christopher (he seems like a nice guy!) and that in the right hands, Luke’s weird nerdy Peter Parker daughter could have been a really great story arc, but screw that. Sometimes the writing in the things we love isn’t good — like 65 percent of Star Wars, for example. And if a 50s space diner exists in Star Wars, we have to grin and bear it and accept that one day, Rey might visit Dexter Jettster to find out who her parents are.
Nope. Every bit of Gilmore Girls, whether the writing was rough or not, is canon. So it’s up to me as a faithful Nardineer to explain to you, canonically, why April Nardini is awesome and that you have never been more wrong, Vivian.
We can start with blaming April for Luke and Lorelai splitting up. Way to blame the kids for the divorce, you dickheads. A super smart girl with really rad glasses wanting a relationship with her father is not to blame for that father turning into a manbaby who can’t deal with his day-to-day. Luke had a chance to man up and explain to his soulmate and partner in life that he now had a daughter, and what does this mean for us, and man, he sure didn’t. Luke bailed out faster than Rory the first time someone doesn’t hand her something.
April is not only awesome, but every true Nardineer knows that she is arguably the coolest lady on the show. Let’s run through the Stars Hollow roster to see why:
Rory: Had a breakdown and quit her job the first time someone suggested she wasn’t supremely talented, instead of rising to the challenge. April overcame her overbearing mother and a lack of laboratory resources as a middle-schooler to discover the identity of her father.
Sookie St. James: Decorates baked goods with bright colors and intricate designs, but April Nardini incorporates absurd cake decorations into her glasses and sweaters. She is a fashion revolutionary.
Lane: Spent her entire high school career obsessing over boys and got pregnant the first time she ever had sex. April Nardini knows to put her homework over boys.
Lorelai and Emily: Even the truest Nardineer knows that no one is better than the original Gilmore Girls. I’m not a fucking monster.
Nardineers, assemble! Our Truth can’t be denied!
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