Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Emma Chance | TV | February 6, 2025
Mormonism is having a moment--two of the biggest reality shows of the last year were The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and they were recently joined by Sold on SLC, Bravo's answer to the real estate reality frenzy, but make it Mormon. I'm going to do you a favor and sum them all up for you so you don't have to watch them. The common theme of these shows? Sexual repression. I don't pretend to be an expert on Mormonism, but one thing I know I'm good at is watching television, and when I watch these shows I see conversational and confrontational patterns around sex, sexuality, and shame about the two.
On The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, a couple of the women are technically Mormon, and a handful are former Mormons, having been excommunicated from the church for divorcing their husbands and/or participating in extramarital affairs. The worst possible insult to be lobbed someone's way is that they or their husband might be gay or might have cheated or might have had a threesome or otherwise been involved in a type of sexuality deemed deviant by the community. Actually, the most recent worst insult was that someone had "high body count hair," a.k.a. slutty. This season, newcomer Bronwyn Newport shared her story of being excommunicated from the church and ostracized from the community she was raised in when she became pregnant out of wedlock as a teenager, and how the family of her child's father disowned her and their grandchild.
The title of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives alone proves my point. The only reason this show exists is because a group of Mormon moms who made TikTok videos together went viral for a swinging scandal, when a handful of them allegedly hosted partner-swap parties with each other, which resulted in at least one divorce. As we follow the moms who remain throughout season one, we see one marriage almost break up because the wife went to a male strip and burlesque show in Las Vegas, and another almost fail because of rumors of the husband being gay.
And then there's Sold On SLC, a completely unremarkable show in which, as far as I can tell, no real estate is actually sold, and the entirety of the season's conflict hinges on an accusation that a married, Mormon man frequents a strip club. This accusation comes to light in one of the most inexplicable scenes of reality television I've ever seen: at a party, a woman walks up to her friend and says, "So, you know how my sisters are strippers?" (already I have questions) and then points to a man in the corner and says he's a regular customer.
@realityentertainmenttv 'Sold on SLC' -- Season 1 | Malaysia's friend Kiley tells her that Matt is a regular at a strip club. [source: @Bravo] #SoldOnSLC #SoldOnSaltLakeCity #BravoTV #JenniferYeo, #KennySperry #TynaEdwards #MalaysiaFua #SarahMartindale #MattJones ♬ original sound - realityentertainmenttv
The recipient of this information confronts the man in question by saying, "One of my best friends comes from a line of dancers." Let that statement simmer for a second...I know, right? The implication that a person can descend from a line of strippers, like it's the family trade, is too wonderful for words. Like, back in the Olden Times, when everyone's surnames were their jobs, theirs would have been Stripper. It was enough for the accused man to storm off set, remove his mic, and run away, and the rest of the season has been about watching him fight with his coworkers about how he's not such a good little Mormon after all.
Going off of these shows alone I have to deduce that Mormonism is a faith that stigmatizes sexuality and values misogyny. Any desire that doesn't fit into the heteronormative box of man and wife and sex as a function of procreation only, is punished and therefore shameful. This is obviously not sustainable in real life and therefore leads to deviancy and secrecy, which results in toxic relationship dynamics at best, and emotional abuse at worst.
The thing that makes RHOSLC good, though, is watching the women reckon with this. The ladies of SLMW are struggling through it a little more, but they're still trying. SOSLC hasn't gotten there yet, but I'm firmly seated and waiting to see if it does.
