Wait, Is Rizo Actually a Good Player, Or Is ‘Survivor 50’ Gaslighting Me?

We’re five episodes into Survivor 50 and the season has been wildly entertaining, as you’d expect when you get a bunch of seasoned survivors who know exactly what they’re doing together and let them go off. Each week, there’s at least one moment, maybe two, that would be THE most talked-about event in a normal season, and we’re getting them every episode! I mean, Christian went from starting a fire using eyeglasses in one episode to pooping his pants in the next. And this week’s big moment? Coach decided to dub his allies with nicknames in a weird knighting ceremony that was both painfully cringe and also spot-on. I’ll spare you the cultural appropriation that inspired Coach to pick the nicknames and simply tell you why I think they’re appropriate. Joe is the “Stone Bell Monk,” because he’s stiff and dull and has no resonance, and Colby is the “Oakbound Warrior,” like a reasonably priced wine you keep coming back to because you always forget whether you liked it the first time or not.

Overall, everyone has been playing an excellent game - and if they haven’t, they’ve made their exit. This week was the first double elimination, where only one tribe won immunity and the other two tribes each had to go to tribal council. On Vatu, Ozzy’s “Polly Prissypants” tantrum about being excluded from last week’s Mike White vote led to some drama between him and Christian, but in the end, the obvious thing happened: Angelina was voted out. And that’s fine, because she wasn’t really doing anything anyway. It’s not that I dislike her, but Christian was at least playing hard and taking risks the whole time. It’ll probably bite him in the ass eventually, but until then he’s more entertaining to watch. Besides, now Angelina can go keep Mike White company!

Things were not nearly so obvious over on the other losing tribe, Cila. My pick for the season, Charlie, was ultimately ousted, and I can’t even pretend to be mad about it. I mean, I was rooting for him to have a redemption arc after Maria’s betrayal cost him the win in season 46, but his trust issues and trauma around that event became his entire game this time around. And as fun as a nice, unhinged vendetta can be, it’s not exactly smart. He, too, deserved to go this week - but dammit, why did he have to lose to Rizo?

Look, my view on RizGod hasn’t changed. I think he’s a Muppet who only made it as far as he did in season 49 because he’s a lucky bastard who rode Savannah’s coattails, and everyone else on that season was dumb. His gambit with the idol was admittedly impressive - dude’s got balls for days - but if he’d been playing against serious people, they would have called his bluff early on.

In a season featuring all returning players, Rizo should be at a disadvantage. No one has seen him play, since season 50 started shooting right after 49, which makes him an unknown quantity. That’s certainly why Savannah was booted so quickly. And yet, despite rubbing everyone the wrong way on the first meeting, Rizo keeps… winning them over. Except Charlie, of course, but that’s because Rizo claimed he didn’t vote for his number one ally in 49, which triggered all of Charlie’s issues - even though it was just a boneheaded lie! Rizo, in trying to distance himself from Savannah, ended up saying the worst possible thing to Charlie.

And he got away with it, because he’s still running on some truly incredible luck here. He’s got an idol, which was gifted to him - those Billie Eilish Boomerang idols are proving to be fun, but it means that Rizo did absolutely nothing to earn his advantage. Dee sought him out to form an alliance, because she was uncomfortable with Charlie and Jonathan running the tribe, and then Rizo won over Cirie with his radical honesty. So now he’s got a challenge beast and one of the smartest social players to ever play the game on his side, and I’m left wondering… what am I missing?

Is Rizo actually as good as he, and apparently the producers, think he is? Or will somebody finally call his bluff and send him packing? I know Kamila was the deciding vote on Charlie, and she was right, but I also saw her face anytime Rizo opened his mouth, and I’m basically hanging all my hopes on her now. I think she sees him clearly and will be his downfall, but if she drinks the RizGod Kool-Aid too, I guess I’ll have to admit that the man, the myth, the legend just might be legit.