'Vanderpump Rules' Tom Sandoval Equates Himself With O.J. Simpson and George Floyd

Professional television sleaze and noted 40-year-old Tom Sandoval is in the midst of doing what every cast member of Vanderpump Rules past and present has been doing lately: emphasizing and monetizing whatever connection they have to Scandoval, the Illiad for people who love garbage. Yes, whether it’s deflated former cast members like white power Barbie Stassi and coke-eyed roid monster Jax going on podcasts to talk about a scandal they weren’t present for or Ariana and Katie’s sandwich spot Something About Her selling tons of merch despite not being open for business yet, everyone is trying to make something of Scandoval. Tom is in a unique position because he’s not only one of the drama’s major players but also one of the inarguable villains. Being so central to the franchise’s hottest drama is an asset because whatever perspective or revelations he gives will carry more weight and get him more attention. However, it pays to remember that you can always play a good hand of cards badly.

Sandoval somehow has a profile in the New York Times. Don’t take that as a reflection of his relevance; take it as a reflection of how hard his PR team works. Anywho, you can read the profile if you want, but it’s mainly pablum and noise that will make your eyes roll out of your skull and right down the street. However, Sandoval’s inane musings were particularly revealing this time. Here’s a quote from his profile; see if you can spot the yikes:

“I’m not a pop-culture historian really, but I witnessed the O.J. Simpson thing and George Floyd and all these big things, which is really weird to compare this to that, I think, but do you think in a weird way it’s a little bit the same?”

Hoo boy! It’s fascinating to see in one clear instant how off-course someone has gone. How out-the-window bananas is Tom Sandoval? Let me count the ways! The use of “pop-culture historian” in the context of being knowledgeable about the murder trial of O.J. Simpson and the murder of George Floyd by police feels … insultingly glib, to say the least. The lack of perspective it takes to compare yourself to O.J. Simpson and George Floyd when you’re a white male on a Bravo reality show being professionally 23 is staggering. I suppose Sandoval must see his reality TV drama on equal footing as the OJ trial and Floyd’s murder. It’s galling when you consider that Scandoval, for all its blessings and curses, was initiated by something he did. For him to pitch this ridiculous angle in which he’s also a victim and to do so with comparisons to OJ and Floyd feels like a wild swing that can only blow up in his face. I’m surprised he’s not holding a crucifix if he’s going to martyr himself this way. All in all, this is a wonderfully crisp illustration of how deep up their own ass someone can go. It feels like such a snapshot of how warped his perceptions are, like an example of just how solipsistic you can become on reality TV.

It’s entirely possible that this entire misadventure, down to the quote, is all a part of a larger strategy, one that aims to paint the picture of Sandoval the Fool. There’s a certain merit to the idea. It would require only that Tom lean into a perception of himself that already exists and feed what’s already there with quotes like these. To me, it seems too important to Sandoval that he be liked for him to agree to this, and suggesting braindead bullsh** as he does in the profile is quite characteristic for him. Real, unreal, or some combination of the two, I think we can all agree what he said was absurd and he can shut up any old time now.