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Fixing Fox's F-Ups One Blog Post at a Time

By Seth Freilich | TV | April 8, 2009 |

By Seth Freilich | TV | April 8, 2009 |

Seems that the stain of American TV ran over by about 6 minutes last night, meaning folks who tuned in to see the first new episode of “Fringe” in months instead got to see a My Chemical Romance d-bag wannabe doing his cover of “Mad World” (yes, it was rather good for what it was but, seriously — anybody with a decent voice can kill with that song). Not a terribly big deal except that it meant that “Fringe” itself ran overtime which, of course, means anyone who was sitting down to watch the show as recorded missed the freaking conclusion. Because of goddamned Karaoke Idol.

I was one such person, and when the little box popped up on my screen, asking me if I wanted to delete the program, thus indicating that the recording had reached its conclusion, I believe my exact words were “you’ve got to be f-ing kidding me.” I managed to find the last six minutes anyway (*ahem*), so for those of you who were in this boat, here’s what you missed (and if you recorded the show but haven’t watched it yet, this is obviously a *spoiler,* though it doesn’t contain anything major, and you should stop reading now, only coming back when you finally watch what you recorded).

So my recording cut-off right as The Artist took off in his van because Olivia realized that his yellow tree scent thingy was what Bald Empathy Kid made out of the yellow M&Ms back in the hospital (holy Christ, if knew nothing about this show other than that sentence, I would want to stab somebody). The Artist don’t drive so good, and quickly crashed his van. A foot chase ensued and after some tussling in a cemetery, Olivia killed the Artist with a knife to the belly. The victim was beat up, but alive, in the back of the van.

So Olivia calls boss man (no idea what his name is on the show, but you know who I mean — Abaddon from “Lost,” Lt. Daniels from “The Wire” and the undercover cop from “Oz”). She says she needs some help with something — all but the most idiotic viewer guesses she wants to finagle Bald Empathy Kid out of the hands of creepy CIA Guy (that no-name actor, by the way, had a pretty good night, having a minor supporting role here while also having a major supporting role on “Cupid”).

Olivia then asks the Kindly Black Hospital Doctor for a word, and we cut back to the lab. Olivia tells Bald Empathy Kid that Kindly Black Hospital Doctor is going to take him to a home with a nice family, not to a facility. Touching goodbye, and we cut to CIA Guy trying to contain his rage at Lt. Daniels over the kid being gone. Abadon says he has no idea how the kid disappeared from under the nose of a protective detail but, as CIA Guy said, the Bald Empathy Kid also lived his whole life underground, and we don’t know how he got there in the first place either. I guess we just don’t know shit about him and never will, says Daniels. CIA Guy knows this is such, like, total bullshit, but nothing he can do about. Game, set, match: Abaddon.

Olivia goes home and has heartwarming moment with niece.

We end with Bald Empathy Kid being taken to his new home. Standing on a snowy hill watching his car go by is that Adult Bald Watcher Guy. Bald Empahty Kid senses him and looks at him as he drives by.

Given that they’re both pasty and bald and freaky, and that the music got all loud there, I’m going to go out on a limb and say there might be a connection here.

Cut to frog (what the fuck are all these stupid symbols and with the little lights in different places supposed to mean anyways? I don’t pay a lick of attention to them, but JJ and company swore they had some meaning).

So there you go. Nothing major, in the grand scheme of things, but it doesn’t make me hate “American Idol” any less. Fuck you, Seacrest.

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Seth is a Senior Editor and sometime critic. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.