By Melissa McKimmey | TV | March 3, 2011 |
By Melissa McKimmey | TV | March 3, 2011 |
This week it’s all whodunit and foreshadowing. There are several very brief scenes that could be very big later, which is why this is a bit longer than normal.
Barb is skipping out on church and furiously clipping coupons. I bet she’s a great shopper.
Nicki and Margie discuss the polygamy kids’ rally footage, which is just Margie talking about how awesome Barb was when they got married. Nicki’s incredibly jealous of Margie’s screen time. Don’t you know she’s going to be Bill’s legal wife and it’s all about her now? Nicki’s decided she wants a wedding dress for her “special day.” They mention some version of “special day” when talking about the wedding about fifteen times in this episode. Nicki would totally be a bridezilla if she still had credit cards. Bill tells Nicki they have to talk to Barb about the dress and that they have to be sensitive to her feelings. Bill obviously senses that Barb’s on the edge of kicking his ass to the curb. Barb’s all ‘I’ll BUY your dress as your something new!’ Nicki thinks that’s very kind of her and hell yes it is. And of course, Nicki can’t leave good enough alone so now she wants a reception! Jesus, these people claim to have been married for ten years or so now. A reception seems like a gift grab. Margie tells Nicki to shut it, but Nicki can do no such thing, so she lays some pressure on Barb. Bill agrees to the reception when Barb says she wants Nicki to have her “special day.” And that is why these people don’t deserve Barb.
Barb legitimately thinks that she’s doing something good for Bill and Nicki with the marriage and I think she’s trying to rise above and be a good priesthood holder by being compromising, but no one really takes one for Barb, you know? She’s all give and eventually is seems like she’s a pushover. Maybe it’s just that she’s so calm about everything she seems weaker than she is.
The wives also very casually mention how inconvenient it is to carry around guns for protection, so you know one of those guns is going off here soon.
Cara Lynn and teacher. Hmm. Her hair is down and she’s wearing a tank top and a robe and his shirt is open. Oh, pick me, I know what they did and it’s illegal! Honestly, she looks over 18 and he looks like he’s in his 20’s, so if I didn’t know how old they are supposed to be, I could find this pairing actually suitable. They have a lot of chemistry, which makes it that much creepier when I remember that he is supposed to be her teacher.
Mr. Ivey and his mom are going to a play, so they invite Nicki so Cara Lynn can go to. And they both think this is just the most clever plan ever! Jesus. I watch Pretty Little Liars, which has a slightly less creepy teacher-student subplot and even that couple, who has relationship talks at school, would think this is a stupid idea. And it is, because Nicki decides Mr. Ivey is hot for her. And she’s all over it. Mr. Ivey’s mom gets a strange look on her face watching her son and Cara Lynn together. Maybe it’s nothing or maybe this isn’t his first time at this rodeo.
I think Cara Lynn takes after Nicki a great deal and she’s just playing up the sweet and innocent side so she can do whatever she wants. She seems very confident in her dealings with Mr. Ivey, which a sheltered compound kid should not be. She also refers to her mom as ‘Nicki’ when she talks to him, which is odd. Does she have a problem with Nicki or is she trying to appear adult? She seems to be able to switch from sweet to sultry easily.
Don and Bill freak out because Alby bought the Home Plus building and is now Bill’s landlord, then raises the rent by twenty-five percent. Okay, this is why Alby is such an awesome villain. That is A+ scheming right there. Don wants to bail on Homes Plus, but Bill’s gearing up for a fight. He wants to go to the UEB, which is completely ludicrous, since that is the governing board of the compound and Alby owns every butt in those seats. What does Bill expect? Well, obviously Bill expects people to do exactly as he wishes because it’s what he wants. And again, he’s shocked that they aren’t awed by his power.
Over the phone, Bill calls Alby out on being a shepherd that lain with shepherds. Heh. Alby chooses not to answer, but questions the kind of man that Bill is. So do I, Alby. Don tells Bill he wants nothing to do with the Henrickson-Grant holy war and he’s out. God, finally.
Alby has Verlan strip — slowly — for him to make himself feel better. It’s exactly as creepy as it sounds.
Nicki tries on wedding dresses with Margie. She looks really good in one and it’s very modest and tasteful. Margie wants to show Barb and it’s obvious Nicki’d rather not think about Barb. There is could be such a beautiful friendship between those two women if there wasn’t always jockeying for position. While Nicki makes the most blatant power grabs, Barb holds the most power in the relationship simply because of her close bond with Bill and she doesn’t relinquish it easily.
Heather gets has a little chat with her bishop and mentions that she overheard something she shouldn’t have and we don’t see her tell him about Margie, but it’s implied. Poor Heather. With her very devout faith, holding in something so contradictory to what she believes must have tried her. She winds up getting back together with Ben, which I doubt will last.
Rhonda is broke and Ben buys her food, then tells her he’s not going to give it up to her anymore. Sure, Ben. You tell yourself that.
Margie’s in a Goji Blast meeting and Carl the neighbor walks in and yells at Pam and Margie gets involved and it’s awkward but may be important later. Carl also glares impotently at Bill’s house later.
Frank falls and Lois leaves him there. I figured she was just screwing with him, which is earned, but she didn’t want to call anyone because she knew they’d take them both away and they’d be separated. Lois gets pissed at Barb for running off the other wives and leaving no one to care for her and Frank. Yeah, what a bitch for telling them to get checked for STDs. Lois spits that she’s glad Bill divorced her and even Nicki’s all ‘Oh no you didn’t!’ Barb kind of crumples and leaves, politely making excuses, of course. Awesomely, Barb comes back the next day and tells Lois she doesn’t scare off that easily. God, can you imagine Lois and Frank as your in-laws? Barb really must have loved Bill. Lois tries to do in Frank by feeding him pills, but he’s unconscious, so it doesn’t work and she gets busted.
Spouse meeting where Bill, Nicki and Margie tell Barb that they want to re-seal themselves to each other at the wedding. Bill looks really crestfallen when Barb says no. Technically they are already sealed for eternity, but since Bill started his own church, he must feel the need to do it ‘officially’. Since Barb doesn’t feel welcome at his church, she’s not into it. Margie loves the idea of being resealed. She’s like a puppy that likes anything new that might be exciting. Barb wants to officiate the wedding. She’s a UU minister now after filling out an internet form.
Wedding. Nicki looks lovely and thanks Barb very kindly. Bill’s in a white tux. Nicki and Margie appear to be the only ones who are truly happy. Adalene walks Nicki down the aisle and it’s revealed that Bill went to get her. That’s pretty sweet, actually. Perhaps Bill and Nicki are more alike than it would seem at first glance. They both love power, they will manipulate and blackmail to get what they want and they refuse to listen to reason. Maybe Bill’s in a new phase of his life he can share with Nicki more closely than with Barb. It’s a creepy, asshat kind of phase, but still.
Barb does marry them and it’s short and sweet, like all the best weddings. After they kiss, Nicki has the best look of absolute power on her face. It’s the culmination of all her maneuverings coming to fruition!
Barb is running the reception and runs upstairs to get something and sees Bill sealing himself to Nicki and Margie. Without her. The fact that Bill was comfortable enough to do it without Barb is shocking. That’s something that separates her out now and you know that Nicki won’t hesitate to throw it in Barb’s face. I’m sure Bill thought he was being super-sneaky, but secrets keep popping up and screwing his shit up, so you’d think he’d stop creating more of them to come back and bite him. Barb just walks away, but she looks like she doesn’t want to stop.
There’s a knock at the door and Barb opens it to some police. They tell her they’d like to question her about her knowledge in an investigation of statutory rape. She walks into the cold and gets into the cruiser, not saying a word to anyone.
We’ve got two episodes left and I expect either Lois or Frank to die, possibly both. I think Barb walked out because, again, she was trying to keep things quiet and protect her family, but she better now be left holding the bag for Bill’s stupid scheme.
And who spilled the beans about Margie being 16 to the cops? Was it Heather’s bishop? Maybe it was Carl, the spiteful neighbor? Maybe it’s about Cara Lynn and Mr. Ivey? Does his mom know more than we think? I think it is about Margie, but it was probably more than one person reporting and all the talk about Barb during Margie’s speech gave the cops the idea to try to get her to spill first. I hope Bill spends at least a little time in the slammer. Of course, he’d probably become the jailhouse prophet.