Ravi Needs to Stop Doing What He's Doing on 'iZombie' Right Now
Spoilers for last night’s episode.
The victim of the week last night was a yoga guru, causing Liv to spend most of the episode sidelined, other than the occasional interjection that everyone should remain mindful and focused. In that vein, I’m going to try to take a deep, calming breath before launching into the meat of the show.
RAVI PERCIVAL CHAKRABARTI, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? What is this shit you’re pulling on Peyton? What is going on?
Just to make sure everyone is caught up, Ravi and Peyton were together, then broke up, then kinda got back together, and then all of the events of last season’s finale happened, which put a real damper on the re-blooming love affair what with the near zombie outbreak and whatnot. But apparently the real roadblock in Ravi having a relationship with the woman of his dreams is that a while back, when they weren’t together, Peyton boned down on Blaine before she knew he was a murdering crime boss. And Ravi is upset about this. Not because it shows a serious lack of professionalism in that she slept with her star witness. Nor because it shows serious lack of judgment for schtupping a dude named Blaine. No, he’s upset because Blaine is gross. And he is. Kinda. He’s also hot. Kinda. He’s confusing and evil, but always fun to watch and that makes me feel bad about myself. I do know he’s not a good person.
But he’s still a colorful character.
All of which, as Peyton rightfully points out, is none of Ravi’s fucking business. Could he theoretically be upset because someone he was romantically involved with was sleeping with other people? Nope, they were broken up. Could he be shocked that Peyton would want to sleep with someone who, among other things, killed some of the kids Major worked with at the group home and Liv’s First Season Boyfriend (Hey, First Season Boyfriend! I barely remember you! Hope you’re having fun with Troy Vandegraff!)? Nuh-huh. Peyton didn’t know he was a murdering asshole. Blaine hid that from her. Because he’s a sociopathic, murdering asshole who tended to lie about his crimes. Peyton was wrong to sleep with Blaine (see: “star witness”, “named Blaine”), but she was wrong because of who he was to her, not who he was in general.
Now Ravi does have a slight point that everyone on the show has seemingly lost their memories along with Blaine. But that only makes Ravi look like more of an asshole. Did he get pissed at Liv when she was willing to treat New Blaine as a different person from the Blaine who killed her boyfriend? Or at Major when Major didn’t beat the shit out of Blaine for eating a bunch of homeless kids? Fuck no, he didn’t. But the consensual, if misguided, sex Peyton had with Blaine before she knew who he really was? That’s the hill Ravi is going to die on.
Also, Ravi? You can sleep with any consenting adult you want to, but how exactly did the scene play out in your mind when you opened the door to Peyton while your sexed up boss was in the kitchen? What was your overall exit strategy? For some reason, Rob Thomas The Other One has decided that keeping Peyton and Ravi apart is the real good shit for this season, but as the good British doctor might say “That’s a bit of shit writing, isn’t it?”
Unfortunately, this week’s episode was inevitably a letdown after last week’s Fifteen-Year-Old-Girl Major Lillywhite extravaganza (I love you so, so much, Teen Girl Major), but this entire plotline needs to be shot in the head. Give us back our, Ravi, Other Rob. We really need him.
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