Who’s ready to enjoy about four of the next ten X-Files episodes? Yup, the show’s getting another season and Chris Carter is once again at the helm, so get ready for more frustrating lore-focused storylines about Scully and Mulder’s secret alien baby and horrible government conspiracies that we don’t care about.
Okay, that’s not entirely fair; I’m not being snarky because the last seasons’s plot disappointed me. No, what’s truly provoked my ire is Scully’s damn wig, which I never ever want to see again.
Let’s take a tour through the various hairs of Gillian Anderson so I can explain just what’s bothering me about her Season 10 look, shall we?
Below is the classic Scully bob of the ’90s. You will note that it is Gillian’s real hair, although not her real hair color — she dyed it red for the series, because most of the famous redheads you know are that way by choice and you just need to accept that. Also worth pointing out: it is parted to the side, which looks better than middle-parts do on literally everyone, and although it appears to be different hues depending on lighting and which season we’re discussing, it is always demonstrably red.
Below is what Gillian Anderson’s hair currently looks like, as evidenced by her time on Hannibal and The Fall.. It is certainly longer, and blond, and occasionally wavy in that old-Hollywood kind of way, but it is no less perfect. Once again, a deep side part, because when a face is so beautiful it’s important to know how to frame it correctly.
Now, here we have Scully’s hair as seen in the 2008 film The X-Files: I Want To Believe. It’s longer, more layered, parted less dramatically, and closer to a strawberry blond than it’s ever been — but it is no less wonderful to look at. Although yes, I admit, it could be redder for my tastes.
Here is also a picture of Gillian Anderson as David Bowie from the upcoming American Gods. There is no reason for this. I suppose you could argue that it’s proof that even terribly fringed wig can look good on this woman’s head if it’s the right one, but mostly I just like showing it to people.
And finally, I bring you to the object of my ire: the season 10 wig. Seriously, my girl looks like she’s cosplaying Clary from Shadowhunters. It is too coiffed, and too unusual a color, and does not move or hang from her head the way it’s supposed to, and there’s too much volume on bottom and not enough on top, and I hate it, oh my god do I hate it, why have you done this to Gillian Anderson, you monsters.
Of course, yes, once they do realize that MIDDLE PARTS ARE A TRAVESTY and that lighting it a certain way washes it out, it does start to look a bit better. A small comfort.
Objectively, I understand why the wig must exist. Gillian Anderson may be a goddess, but she is a mortal one, with just one head of hair that could not withstand the beating of several dye jobs for several different projects. I wish nothing but the best for her beleaguered follicles and don’t mind them taking a break. But to be perfectly honest, I would rather Dana Scully be blonde than have to see this wig again. It’s not that the hair doesn’t fit my ideal of what Scully should look like: it’s that it does not fit, period. Gillian deserves better, and it is my firm opinion that whoever styled that distracting mess knows what they did and will fix it this time. They will. It will be better. God damn it, I want to believe.