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Crazy Ranking "True Blood": 'Mother, I Can Fly' Edition

By Sarah Carlson | TV | August 5, 2013 |

By Sarah Carlson | TV | August 5, 2013 |

For “True Blood’s” Sixth Season, each week we’ll review and rank the various raisin-cake plot developments of this bloody, campy drama. This post could get a bit NSFW, so be warned. Comments also won’t be strictly policed because the series is so far off the source novels, spoilers are practically a moot point.

Episode Eight, “Dead Meat,” was certainly an hour that called for shots.


With only two episodes left this season, it’s all about to hit the fan as all forces will convene on Vamp Camp. The season has seen a fair share of action, but it is interesting that in a world of supernatural drama, almost all of the crazy lately has revolved around relationships. Only a couple of days have passed in this season’s timeline, but that apparently is enough time for Alcide to have completed his practice run at being packmaster (verdict: No dice), Sam and Nicole to fall in love, Jessica and James to at least really like each other, Sookie to think that being a vampire fairy princess might not be a bad idea and for Sarah to practicaly take over governing Louisiana. The former Mrs. Steve Newlin takes the ultimate insanity award for the night, and with two episodes left, plenty more people are sure to meet their demise. My bets: Sarah dies, Sookie doesn’t get turned and BIll somehow loses his powers.

On to the episode:

5. I told you Eric would lose it now that Nora is gone. He hasn’t lost his mind, have you — although his taunting of Bill was pretty great — but his patience. He cleverly tracked Warlow to Fairyland, gaining access by drinking the blood of A.B.C.D. Now that both he and Bill can walk in the sunlight,




4.5. Does this mean we can get rid of Rikki? Please?


4. That’s one way to propose to a lady. But what about Sookie’s first encounter with Warlow, when he was a scary spirit popping up in her bathroom and threatening her? That hardly spelled true love.




3. Well, that escalated quickly. Nicole’s mom is right to be wary, not only because of the age difference but because relationships borne out of life-or-death situations aren’t exactly guaranteed to last. They talked about this in Speed. Pay attention. Anyways, Nicole doesn’t yet know she’s pregnant, so that didn’t factor into her declaration, but is she really ready to hitch her wagon to an older shifter who owns a bar and grill in Bon Temps? He is a silver fox, but …


(Image credit goes to Lily Sparks, of

2. SOOKIE STAHP. She hasn’t bugged Sam in a while — not to mention she haven’t shown up to work, either — and she chooses now to drop the “I always thought we’d end up together” bit? Just because you’re contemplating becoming immortal doesn’t mean you should reach out to the last semi-human (aside from Jason) who may want you to have a heartbeat, sweetie. Her cemetery monologue about her parents was moving (Paquin did a great job), and wanting to give in to her “specialness” and be with someone proclaiming to love her for it is understandable. But she shouldn’t drag anyone else down with her in her “destiny is a b*tch” journey.


1. Our lead has nothing on Sarah, however, in terms of desperation. She has resorted to human on human violence now to protect the secret of the Hep V-laced Tru Blood bottles making their way to shelves. Her epic fight with Ms. Suzuki (Tamlyn Naomi Tomita) ended quite disturbingly, sealing Sarah’s fate as being no better (and in many ways worse) than the so-called monsters she is helping imprison.





Best Lines:

Sarah: “It is scientifically impossible for you to be this f**king slow!”







Best Everything





Last image/line:


Sarah Carlson is a TV Critic for Pajiba. She lives in San Antonio. You can find her on Twitter.