Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Emma Chance | TV | October 6, 2023
Last week I caught you up on the absolute menace that is Uche Okoroha of Love Is Blind season five. When we left off, Uche had confronted his ex, Lydia Gonzalez, at a cast party about her allegedly nefarious ways, and had just pulled her fiancé, Milton Johnson, aside to warn him against marrying her. Well, episode eight dropped today, and the question on everyone’s lips was, “How will Milton react?”
For context: Milton is a six-foot-seven, 24-year-old scientist with a gentle manner and a heart of gold. He and Lydia got engaged in the pods, and while this season’s other couples are mostly nothing worth writing about, I like Milton and Lydia together. Their age difference (she’s 31) might cause some tension, but their height difference (I don’t know exactly how tall she is, but it’s much shorter than 6’7”) is hilarious and adorable.
Okay, so. Uche pulled Milton aside to tell him that Lydia was a crazy person who stalked him and his friends after they broke up (even though he had sung her praises in the pods) and also that she somehow knew he was going to be on the show and planned to be there too so that they could reunite and be together. One has to wonder if Lydia has an in with the Netflix casting department because that’s the only way that would be possible, right?
Anyway, Uche is a toxic misogynist and Milton would have been well within his rights to tell him to f**k off. But he didn’t. You wanna know what he said?
“So, my mom always told me, like, your perception is like, your reality. You and her have very different perceptions. You guys are both grown. You guys can kind of both handle it.” Remember that this man is 24.
“But you don’t think that someone’s past determines their behavior in the future?” Uche responded, trying to imply that because she stormed off on him that very night, she might storm off on an important conversation with Milton in the future. “Do you think that’s like a healthy way to communicate?” He asked.
“No, but I understand there’s nuances and things are situational,” Milton responded, officially winning my heart. “This isn’t like, Pythagorean theorem going on. This is, like, multidimensional calculus. You’re in an X direction, she’s in a Y direction, and I’m in a Z direction. Like, I’m not even adjacent. I’m just like, on a different parallel. It’s all perception.” Quite possibly the best mic drop of all time.
“How has y’all’s communication been, generally?” Uche asked, definitely not getting it and trying to win the argument.
“Actually really good,” Milton responded with a sly smile. “Regardless of like, if you and her see eye to eye, like, we’re all on different dimensional planes. It just is what it is,” he concluded. Uche issued a final warning that Lydia might hurt him and they left with a fist bump and a promise to talk in the group chat. Milton later assured Lydia that none of it meant anything to him at all, saying, “It’s so minute.”
“Look at you, you’re a f**king grown-ass woman, you’re a badass. You have a great ass job. You make great ass money. You’re independent as f**k. f**k everybody else. Who cares? We’ll make it through,” he told his fiancé.
Milton for president, and for CEO of everything, and for king of the world.
