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'Captain Marvel Is A Villain!' Shouts White Man With Too Much Free Time

By Jodi Smith | Industry | May 28, 2019 |

By Jodi Smith | Industry | May 28, 2019 |


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God, I hope you’ve never heard of YouTube “star” and “prankster” Joey Saladino aka Joey Salads because I’m about to introduce you to him and I’d hate for you to have to hear this information more than once. In May of this year, Salads — known for “racist pranks” — announced a bid for Congress in New York. As a Republican intent on lowering minimum wage and continuing the proud tradition of skullf**kery we’ve all come to expect in politics.

The 25-year-old admitted to staging his “hood pranks” where he entered black neighborhoods with inflammatory signs before being attacked by random passersby. The random attackers were actually in on the whole thing and Salads presented the resulting videos as proof of the emotional instability of black people. Neat.

On the 27th of this month, Marvel released a different version of a scene in Captain Marvel where Vers encounters a jerk on a motorcycle that admonishes her for not smiling. It’s wonderful and should have been in the final cut of the flick, but at least we have it now. However, Mr. Salads took offense to the scene and took to Twitter to declare Captain Marvel the WOOOOORST, YOU GUYS. WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WHITE MAN’S FEE-FEES WHEN SHE SQUEEZED HIS HAND AND TOOK HIS MOTORCYCLE?

Twitter, bless its damaged heart, took Salads to task, though the original tweet has 28,000 likes and just under 4,000 re-tweets and around that many replies. There are a whole lotta men crying a single tear while confidently hitting the heart and re-tweet buttons while lamenting that stuck-up bitches won’t date them since they’re super nice guys.

At any rate, a lot of the replies to Salad Spinner 4 Kongress are delightful, including several from our own Mike Redmond.

Salads replied to that with a Photoshop of user @AndrewSolender that lengthened the Tweeter’s neck, which is par for the course when a Republican is running for political office.

Just save me from this hellscape we call reality, kids, because this is all too much idiocy for me to take.



Header Image Source: Marvel