'Captain Marvel Is A Villain!' Shouts White Man With Too Much Free Time

By Jodi Smith | Industry | May 28, 2019 |

By Jodi Smith | Industry | May 28, 2019 |

God, I hope you’ve never heard of YouTube “star” and “prankster” Joey Saladino aka Joey Salads because I’m about to introduce you to him and I’d hate for you to have to hear this information more than once. In May of this year, Salads — known for “racist pranks” — announced a bid for Congress in New York. As a Republican intent on lowering minimum wage and continuing the proud tradition of skullf**kery we’ve all come to expect in politics.

The 25-year-old admitted to staging his “hood pranks” where he entered black neighborhoods with inflammatory signs before being attacked by random passersby. The random attackers were actually in on the whole thing and Salads presented the resulting videos as proof of the emotional instability of black people. Neat.

On the 27th of this month, Marvel released a different version of a scene in Captain Marvel where Vers encounters a jerk on a motorcycle that admonishes her for not smiling. It’s wonderful and should have been in the final cut of the flick, but at least we have it now. However, Mr. Salads took offense to the scene and took to Twitter to declare Captain Marvel the WOOOOORST, YOU GUYS. WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE WHITE MAN’S FEE-FEES WHEN SHE SQUEEZED HIS HAND AND TOOK HIS MOTORCYCLE?

Marvel has created the worst/most unlikeable HERo ever pic.twitter.com/imxGyFnQSh

— Saladino for Congress (@JoeySalads) May 24, 2019

Sorry I dont find the “hero” of the film likable when she nearly rips off a person’s hand and steals his stuff because hes a jerkoff.

— Saladino for Congress (@JoeySalads) May 24, 2019

Twitter, bless its damaged heart, took Salads to task, though the original tweet has 28,000 likes and just under 4,000 re-tweets and around that many replies. There are a whole lotta men crying a single tear while confidently hitting the heart and re-tweet buttons while lamenting that stuck-up bitches won’t date them since they’re super nice guys.

At any rate, a lot of the replies to Salad Spinner 4 Kongress are delightful, including several from our own Mike Redmond.

That’s because you sympathize with the guy harassing her

— Andrew Solender (@AndrewSolender) May 24, 2019

Salads replied to that with a Photoshop of user @AndrewSolender that lengthened the Tweeter’s neck, which is par for the course when a Republican is running for political office.

I don’t even care but you do realize this is just an homage to arnies scene in terminator

— Jonathan Tucker (@PacmanJT) May 28, 2019

Woah I never saw this clip but damn…

Captain Marvel is a villain. She straight hurts and robs a dude because he was a jerk to her. Thats a villain https://t.co/nRmiwKaQmE

— Tim Pool (@Timcast) May 24, 2019

Superman does literally the same thing in Superman 2 lol!

— Phil Lindsey (@PhilDL616) May 25, 2019

Woah I never saw this clip but damn…

Batman is a villain. He straight hurts and breaks a window in a museum because it was a jerk to Vicki Vale. Thats a villain pic.twitter.com/O3QodvBkgW

— Mike Redmond (@theredmond) May 27, 2019

Yet you’re fine with heroes doing that exact same thing in Superman, Terminator, John Wick, Death Wish, Dirty Harry, and countless others.

— Tommy Lee Edwards (@tommyleeedwards) May 26, 2019

pic.twitter.com/0iemlRLjl8

— Amy 🦄 (@AJMann75) May 27, 2019

Woah I never saw this clip but damn…

Obi-Wan is a villain. He straight hurts and turns a dude into Darth Vader because he was a jerk to Padme. Thats a villain pic.twitter.com/Ao49QmBtDp

— Mike Redmond (@theredmond) May 27, 2019

There's a scene in "Kingsmen" where Colin Firth's character beats the shit out of a whole bar full of guys just because they were being rude, and everyone thought he was a badass for it, not a villain.

This is just misogyny. https://t.co/dsaCMe5onm

— Faith Naff🌹🦋 (@FaithNaff) May 27, 2019

Just save me from this hellscape we call reality, kids, because this is all too much idiocy for me to take.